The Shocking Consequences of Men Not Having Hobbies

[00:00:00] If you’re a man without a hobby, you’re gonna struggle with mental health. Hear me out. Think of some of the great characters you’ve watched on tv. Leroy Jethro Gibbs built a boat in his basement. Babe Barki loved his van. Mike Baxter works on classic cars and Sherlock Holmes. Well, he plays the violin badly from all accounts.

You see, in the past there were hobbies. Men participated in more often. There’s been a direct correlation to the rise of the hustle and grind culture and society rise and grind, and the direct decline in men actually having hobbies. In fact, it’s actually crushed hobbies, crush ’em among everybody, but particularly men, with the feeling of worthlessness and useless.

Unless we’re working being a really common thing, Cape White and Rabbit. [00:01:00] In fact, studies have shown the majority of men will struggle with common mental health conditions such as anxiety, stress, or depression at some point in their lives are more than once. In fact, statistically around 77% of men will tell you they’ve already dealt with whether they realize it or not.

Symptoms of anxiety, stress, or depression. Men are using words like useless and worthless to describe themselves more and more, and they’re experiencing less real connection in their lives. Guys, we’ve gotta change the trajectory that we’re on. Okay? We’re changing direction now. One of the most commonly circulated ideas or memes you’ll see in men circles.

That you need to have three hobbies. I did a quick Google search and came up with over 20 different copies of basically the same idea. I’ll put that up on the screen if you’re watching the video, and it goes like this one to make you money, one to keep [00:02:00] you in shape and one to keep you creative. Some goes far as saying you actually need five and add on one to build knowledge and one to grow your mindset.

But the problem is most men run into the fact that those aren’t really hobbies. Even if they started as hobbies, men commonly make the mistake of making them not hobbies, but we’ll come back to that in a minute. Not having a hobby is sabotaging your mental health. The men’s Shed movement proves how structured, male-oriented hobby spaces can actually promote men’s mental health in a really great way.

This movement, if you’re not familiar with it’s originated in Australia. These community-based workshops provide men with a venue for things like woodworking, metalworking, and other hands-on activities. They also serve as social hubs, combat combating, I can’t talk today. Isolation and fostering a new sense of community for men.

Research has shown that [00:03:00] participants in men’s Sheds report feeling better about themselves, more accepted in their communities, and happier at home as well. Gentlemen, today we’re gonna be covering. Why you need a hobby if you still aren’t sold at this point, why men shed movements actually work? We’re gonna break that down and figure out what the magic is there, what a hobby actually is, because a lot of people get that wrong.

We’re gonna rank some of the top hobbies available to men by mental health benefit to you, and we’re gonna cover the common mistake that most men make when starting a hobby. There will be timestamps in the description if you wanna jump around. Uh, we’re gonna cover this pretty in depth today, so I’ll actually tell you as you’re listening, Hey, if you wanna jump in the next timestamp, this is what we’re covering.

We’re gonna take 90 seconds to share our sponsor, and then we’ll jump right into this. Gentlemen, we’re MyPillow house. I have dozens of MyPillow products all over my house that I ever use every single day [00:04:00] from the pillow I sleep on every night and the sheets I sleep on every night. To kitchen towels and bath towels.

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The driven to thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving purpose-filled intentional lives. Welcome to the Driven Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting [00:05:00] impact for men. I’m your host, Brent Dowlen, and we help men go from living to thriving purpose-filled intentional lives.

Now, right off the bat, let’s start with the why, right? Why do you need a hobby? So if you’re already sold, go ahead and jump to the next timestamp. If you’re not, stick with me and we’ll make the case. The rise of hustle and grind culture in society has crushed hobbies among men. Like I said at the beginning, it was very common for men to have hobbies earlier in life.

Uh, back, you go back 30, 40, 50, 60 years ago, men had a lot more hobbies. Men now more than ever, just struggle with feeling worthless and useless unless we’re busy working, we have to be making money, we have to be providing, or we have no value. Now that’s all bs bull, honky bull, honky, but. I found that the majority of men actually feel that way [00:06:00] as you have undoubtedly heard the cliche, you can’t pour from an empty cup or put your oxygen mask on first.

While I hate cliches saying there’s absolutely some truth to that. So problematically, we turn to personal development and we improve ourselves, and that’s the way we put pack into our cup now. If you’ve been here, you know, we talk about relationships and personal development prominently, and I’m a huge fan of personal development because there’s a definite need for that and a different place for that.

But somehow we commenced ourselves. That play was unnecessary. Now we have all the research in the world that says that children need a certain amount of play, and the recommendation for children is, you know. 90 minutes a day to three hours of playtime for children. Now I get it. We we’re grownups. We don’t get 90 minutes to play right.

I’m not [00:07:00] sure that that need ever actually went away. In fact, you see it in societies where they have four day work weeks or where they have, uh, school all year. They have learned the value of putting in breaks with enough time for you to actually do things. Experts actually recommend three to five hours of hobby time a week.

Best served in 30 to 60 minute increments throughout the week. But most people know that kids are supposed to have play time. But really, there’s actually research that proves that you as an adult should have quote unquote playtime air quotes in the form of hobby time, right? Where you take your leisure time and do something you really wanna do.

For at least three hours a week. Now, that’s not as much of the 90 minutes today, but sure we’re adults. Okay, but can you imagine the benefits of 30 to 60 minutes, four or five days a [00:08:00] week of doing something you actually just truly loved for the purpose of doing what you love? And I’d say it’s a tricky idea.

’cause most of us can’t actually conceptualize that at this point. Well all work and no play makes Jack Doll boy all work and no play makes Jack doll boy could be a reasonable answer to the question of why you need a hobby. But if I haven’t convinced you yet, let me hit the boring science stuff and I’ll post links to the research on the show page on my website.

For all of you that ask me this stuff, I get these requests all the time. It’s like, Hey, where is that study you cited or that research. So guys, it will actually be on the page for this episode on my website. You can absolutely go to our driven to thrive.com and it’ll take you to the podcast and you’ll see it there on the webpages.

So we’ll get into the science stuff now. If you’re [00:09:00] not into the science stuff, you can skip to the next timestamp. All right, ready? Here we go. We’re gonna science nerd out. Here we go. A comprehensive study involving 93,000 participants across 16 countries found that individuals who engaged in hobbies reported fewer depressive symptoms, better mental wellbeing, and this associated remain association remained co.

Even after adjusting for their various demographic factors, the same study found that hobby engagement was linked to a reduced risk of depression, symptom depressive symptoms. Notably, men who participated ho participated in hobbies had a 20% lower likelihood of experiencing depression compared to those who did not.

Another, another study cited that. Engaging in creative hobbies like painting, writing, or music has been associated with reductions in stress, anxiety, and depression. Such activities provide a mental space [00:10:00] separate from work and other obligations, allowing individuals to relax and engage with their interest On a personal level, that same study found that physical and social hobbies, activities that involve physical movement and social interactions such as hiking.

Weightlifting team sports have been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and improve overall wellbeing. These hobbies not only boost physical health, but also foster social connection, which is crucial for mental health, especially for men. Now there’s the science stuff. Guys, if I haven’t commenced you, then I’m sure you’re just gonna turn this off ’cause I’m done convincing you.

Those study links will be, like I said on my webpage, but we’re gonna jump into looking at the men’s shed methodology. Why this methodology that first started in Australia is actually gaining ground and helping men make an incredible difference in their mental health and their own wellbeing. If you don’t [00:11:00] care, skip to the next timeframe.

Timestamp. So we’re done with the science stuff. Why is the men’s shed movement working? So you can see exactly for yourself. Not only that it works, but how it works. It’ll make it make sense for when you’re starting to explore your own hobbies. One, it’s a men’s space. In a world where dedicated men’s spaces are dying out, there’s still a deep need for men only spaces for men’s mental health and personal growth.

Men can’t hardly find these spaces anymore. So this men’s shed movement that started in Australia is gaining ground one. Because of that, it’s a men’s space. Number two, men can learn new skills. If you dig deep into how these spaces work, you are not expected to know a whole bunch of stuff when you come in.

You’re not exp expected to have specific skills. If you have those skills are specific skills. You are encouraged [00:12:00] to share them with other men and help them grow theirs, but you get to learn from other men who do have skills. They offer cla some classes, some hands-on learning with men who actually know how to do things that maybe you aren’t taught to do and no one looks down on you because it’s just part of the culture.

It’s men helping other men grow and learn skills that they may not know or to hone those skills more. Number three, it’s hands-on creation and repair at its center, men are built to create, it’s part of our DNA and men flourish when they are creating. Going back to our oldest roots, part of providing was building and creating.

We had to build a home. We had to build a safe shelter. We had to build tools we needed or any kind of furniture kind of thing, right? Men have been building their own world for years. This is just part of the primal need of men, and [00:13:00] it feeds us even today in a world where we often don’t feel like we’re doing any of that.

That’s why video gaming is so popular among men is men aren’t feeling like they’re accomplishing things in their lives. And so they dive into video games where they feel like they’re actually getting a false sense of accomplishment, and that’s what it is, is a false sense of accomplishment. But it’s feeding this primal nature where we need to create and achieve and build and do things and feel like men.

It is part of our core creation and it’s always gonna be there. The mental health benefits of working with your hands alone is actually so incredible that I could do a whole separate show on there and comment working with your hands in the comments if you want me to actually do a deep dive on that specific subject.

Otherwise, we’re gonna move to number four, which is it’s a hobby space. It’s not a professional space. [00:14:00] Our world is divided between our personal life and our professional life. Usually what do we have? We have personal space where we’re taken up with things we have to do, and professional space where we’re taken up with stuff we have to do, and we have to be good at all those things to take care of the things we have to accomplish.

This is not a professional space. You’re not expected to create a masterpiece. You are not expected to hand carve a beautiful rocking chair if you’ve never picked up a chisel before and built anything. It’s a place where you’re doing work. ’cause you want to learn because you’re passionate about it, because it intrigues you.

You’re not making these pieces to sell. You’re not doing this to try and make a living. You’re doing it for the love of doing, and that’s a really important part of this. And the fifth reason that the Men’s Shed community is working is social interaction. And community. [00:15:00] Men need to interact with other men at a social level level for optimal mental health.

Now, you can find a sense of community, maybe in your church, maybe in your friend group, maybe in your peer group. But men need. Other men in a sense of community where we can discuss ideas and relate and connect, and we’re really, really, really bad at it these days. Now, we’ve talked about this in previous episodes along with the need to belong, and that is one of the things that this space is creating for people.

In all the jobs I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot over the years, guys, because I spent a couple years just working in a temp agency. Trying to figure out what I wanted to do in my life. So I was trying all kinds of different jobs, as many as I could. I was never more satisfied with my role in life than when I was a ranch hand at 17 in Wyoming, working cattle and sheep, total peace achieved during typical angsty teenage years, [00:16:00] primarily because it crossed off all the buckets that the men sailed.

Methodology. Methodology is actually solving for men. I got all those things on the ranch. So what is a hobby? Everybody thinks they know the answer to this, but you’re wrong. Now, before you hang up on me, really gimme a chance here. Let’s go with the simplest definition because we do generally screw this up.

In fact, we get this wrong all the time as men. So please dial in on this one simple definition. A hobby is defined as an activity done regularly in one’s leisure. Time for pleasure. Now I’ve got it highlighted in my notes. Pleasure. That is the sole reason you are doing it. One of my favorite shows. Has been last man standing.

I have two daughters, my brother has three daughters. Uh, and we both spent several years of our life [00:17:00] in Springfield, Missouri, where Bass Pro was founded. So their out damn doorman store really is just like looking at the giant Bass Pro headquarters that started in the town. I spent a lot of my life in.

So I’ve always connected with the show and the main character at one point says, I’m a Baxter. We don’t do anything for the fun of it. And later his youngest daughter, pars the same exact line. Unfortunately, we become a society that embraces the idea as adults. Even the fun things, air quotes that we usually do end up having another purpose, which isn’t always bad, but it can nuke the benefits.

The mental health benefits of having a real hobby very quickly. Here’s another timestamp for you guys. If you don’t want the list of mental health hobbies that we’re about to go to, just jump to the next timestamp. Otherwise, stick with this, and we’re gonna [00:18:00] rank some ideas for hobbies for men’s mental health benefits.

I’m literally ranking these by which ones are the best for your mental health. If you wanna skip forward, hit the next timestamp. Otherwise, I was a long time gamer. So we’re gonna break these down and rank them gamer style. So there’s the S tier, and it is the most beneficial for your mental health because it combines creativity, hands-on creation, skill building, personal fulfillment, and the possibility of community.

The A tier is pretty good for your mental health. It only drops one of those five things. The B tier drops at least two. And the C tier are hobbies that contain only one or two of those five elements. So it’s all graded on creativity, hands-on creation, skill building, personal fulfillment, and the possibility of community.

Alright guys, we’re gonna start [00:19:00] at the bottom of this list. Uh, like I said, I apologize if you have not seen this style of breakdown before. This goes back to my gamer days. Looking at, uh, builds for players. So starting in the C tier and let me say right up front, gentlemen, I’m going to step on some toes with this.

This is not a science based, like I downloaded this from some great psychology website. Full disclosure, this was me reviewing. Hobbies based on those five characteristics. So you may or may not agree with me on everything, and if I get it wrong, let me know in the comments. We’ll start with ct and that would be an infection auto.

That’s like a cigar affection auto or uh, I think I even have a connoisseur on here. And that’s like a wine or alcohol connoisseur, anime. Airsoft metal detecting antiquing ham [00:20:00] radio magic. Yes, closeup magic, motorcycles, golf, electronic music production, and watchmaking. Now, all of these things hit one or two of the elements of the five that we’re looking for.

There’s nothing wrong with these as hobbies, gentlemen, but they don’t have the optimal mental health benefit that some other hobbies you could take up do. As a bonus for you guys, I actually did some research about hobbies that women find attractive. And so I have them color coded. If you’re listening to this, this diagram will be on the webpage as well.

Uh, so you can go just like screenshot it, but I color coded it. And hobbies that women tend to not like are an orange. The ones normal ones are white and the ones that women tend to find attractive are in yellow, just in case that weighs in on your hobby making decisions. [00:21:00] The B tier, so this is something that has dropped two, at least two of those five elements, and that is new languages, which apparently chicks find sexy yoga.

Coding video gaming women don’t dig that reading. Now, let me throw in this caveat for reading, gentlemen. I realized I haven’t actually read a book for myself for pure enjoyment in probably the last five years. I bought one or two that I still have not read. Most of the books I read are on business or personal development are for my podcast, and so.

Reading doesn’t count as a hobby for me because I’m not listening to it for enjoyment. I’m listening to it to grow on something. So there’s a big difference there. Blogging, collecting stuff, whether that’s comic books, trading cards, magic, that kind of stuff. [00:22:00] Uh, working out is in B tier and I know I’m gonna get some shade for that.

I’ll explain why that is on B Tier a little bit later in the show. Astronomy apparently is hot for the chicks. Don’t understand why there’s paint falling, volunteering, and puzzles solving. Like I said, these are all hobbies that men can take up. These are all hobbies that you can do. The higher up on the rankings they go, the better they are for your mental health because they fill those five things.

A category has shooting, archery, riding, outdoor sports, hiking, backpack, our backpacking, camping, park war, fish fishing. D and D. Yes, D and d is on there. Coffee roasting, beer brewing, obstacles racing. I couldn’t leave that. Office charts for me. Origami, bottle railroads. Yes, it’s actually a valuable thing.

And analog games, those are like [00:23:00] old school board games or even newer board games. Uh. Like, and I’m going off script here, so I’m gonna totally screw this up. Uh, we’ll come back to that. I have lots of them. So that’s your A here. Those are things that only drop one of those five elements that we are grading things on.

Once again, those are creativity, hands-on creations, skill building, personal fulfillment, and the possibility of community. You can find community around all these things on these lists, but. While the A tier makes some great hobbies and does have some mental mental health benefits, the S tier is actually better because creating something is really a primal need for men.

That really helps our mental health. So we get to the S here and it has woodworking, gardening, blacksmithing. Model building [00:24:00] that can be actual models or that can you be you building stuff outta Legos? I don’t care. Ceramics and pottery, martial arts, that gets an honorable mention. I know we’re not creating anything other than a better version of ourselves, but there is such a deep community around martial arts and there are so many benefits to that.

It covers everything else and will argue whether it actually is creating something new because I tend to think it is. Learning an instrument, leather working, whittling, wood burning, working on cars, painting, drawing, different kinds of art like that. Cooking, photography, theater, and knitting. Yep. Knitting is a valuable skill as far as a hobby, guys, because it’s checking all those boxes.

Full disclosure. Now this is not the end all say all list guys. It is not the only list and is by, but not means a full list of all the possible hobbies. But I put this list together because [00:25:00] I want you to understand the more of those five things you can combine in a hobby that you are just doing for the pure bliss of doing it, the better it’s gonna be for your mental health.

It will make a serious difference, and that’s why it’s a tiered list. Earlier in the show, I mentioned that a lot of men start air quotes. It’s a hobby. Then they reign it. It’s hard breaded into us as men to excel and provide women accuse men of making everything about competition, but competition’s not bad.

However, between the instinct to be competitive and to excel and to provide our fixation on practicality, our drive for efficiency and our overwhelming drive to provide. We tend to ruin our hobbies pretty quick. The complicated truth about hobbies is that the minute we’re motivated to do them for any reason other than pleasure, it [00:26:00] stops having the same mental health benefit.

If you add other motivations or consequences to doing them or not doing them, it’s no longer a hobby. It’s not something you’re doing just for your pure joy. I was sharing this with a friend the other day. We’re having a conversation and I was trying to explain my stance on this, right? He likes to go to the gym, but he goes to the gym because motivation is about the health benefits and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Like I said, I told you that weightlifting or working out was lower on that tear list for me. This is why it’s no longer a hobby keeping him in the gym. There’s consequences. In his head to not going to the gym. It’s not just about loving to work out. It’s about taking care of his health. Once again, that’s a noble goal, but it stops being a hobby when you feel guilty for [00:27:00] not doing it, or you feel like you’re failing because you didn’t get to the gym for a couple days.

Whereas me, I’m absolutely obsessed, obsessed with working out. I’m obsessed even when I have periods where I’m not actively training. My YouTube feed, feed is filled with content from some of the best trainers in the world. I read books about training, about training styles. I listen to podcasts on training.

I watch videos and even movies on training. I studied books that are standard textbooks and kinesiology and training specialties in college before I ever finished high school. Because I’m in love with understanding the methodology and the different ways to push the human body. I’m obsessed. I have a love of training that started when I was 11 years old and has nothing to do with having to go train, like I don’t feel guilty if I don’t go train.

If I need to take a break for a while, I take a break for a [00:28:00] while, but I just love the science and the knowledge of it, the techniques, the styles, the concepts for me. It’s absolutely a hobby. Hobby. I was spending hours a day studying training long before I ever did it as a career, long before I worked with people.

I’m obsessed. It is a hobby for me, which I love and I will be doing till the day I die, and it doesn’t make me any money, but it’s something I love to do. It’s a hobby, which is the reason that I only ever worked as a per personal trainer in special cases with unique clients and instead lean into men’s relationships and personal development.

When I started my podcast on my YouTube channel, because I love that almost as much. But like I, I seriously geek out and nerd out on, I can spend, I’ve read thousands of articles on bench pressing alone, guys. I’m [00:29:00] obsessed. And you can steal the joy out of a hobby when you make it work. That’s why working out is low on my tear list because often we start working out and maybe it’s a hobby, but then we get obsessed and we start counting calories and we start.

Accounting training hours and our training logs and all of a sudden we have a bad patch and we can’t work out and we’re absolutely miserable and then we hate on ourselves for failing to work out or if we’re missing it for a while, it stopped being a hobby and started doing because you had another motivation that was pushing it.

Do it. Hobbies. Or because you love it, and this is why most men don’t have hobbies hardly anymore, because our hustle and grind culture and society has made us look at everything we do as something that is productive or not. It’s making me money. It’s gaining the skills I need, it’s helping me towards my goals, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, right?

We judge everything on [00:30:00] those premises, and if they don’t do that, then we don’t spend our time on it. Gentlemen, your brain needs time where it’s not working and not repairing your body. Well. All work and no play makes Jack All Boy. Your mental health needs to let your spirit breathe three hours a week at least To just do something and for pure joy is really important to your mental health.

No directive, no plan, no expectations, no angle, no other driver, just something you can just do. Be happy doing. Look, I, I know you’re busy and right now you’re going, dude, don’t have time. You’re right. We busy the crap out of ourselves. I know you got a lotted on your plate right now. I understand that. My days are slammed.

I am preaching to myself, guys, but to show up as the best you [00:31:00] for yourself. For your family, for your friends, for your job, for your goals in life. Well, you have to take care of your mental health. As men’s mental health issues are climbing to an all time high. Know that you’re valuable and you’re worth the effort to be the best you.

You’ve got to take time to just experience some joy for the purpose of joy in your life. A hobby that just feeds you. Build a boat in your basement to deal with the headaches of life. Play a violin until your neighbors absolutely hate you. Rebuild a car. If you like expensive hobbies or something else.

Find a hobby that you can do just for the love of it, a couple hours a week, and you’ll be amazed at the incredible impact on your outlook. Of life, the way you feel about yourself and [00:32:00] the way you feel about the world. I guarantee it guys, be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we’ll see you on the next one.

The Driven to Thrive broadcast, purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving. Purpose-filled intentional lives. Gentlemen, if your relationships are not where you want ’em to be, I want you to know I got you. Relationships take a lot of work and they can fall on the back burner pretty easily.

As your empire building in your life, in this hustle culture we live in, men often suffer from damage to their relationships while they’re trying to provide, because you’re trying to climb the tree, make more money, and blah, blah, blah. I help men with the skills, techniques, and solutions to rebuild thriving relationships with the people they love.

Even if they’ve struggled with being the husband or the father, they wanted to be in the past. It’s not too late. Reach out schedule your free discovery. Call with me at purpose-driven men.com to learn the skills you need to [00:33:00] connect deeply with the people who matter most to you.