Paul Compeau: Why Your Child’s College Success Starts in Elementary School

Paul, every dad has that story. They just, they love to tell about being a dad. What is your favorite dad story?

Yeah, so I have so many, um, one from, actually yesterday I was at my son’s school. He was presenting, um, him and one of his friends. He’s at fifth grade now, so he’s like top of the elementary school starting to, to, to show some of those leadership skills.

And I was just so proud of him. Um, they started a kindness club, uh, about two weeks left in last school year. Um. Only got do it for like the last two weeks. So the principal asked to them to speak to the whole elementary school starting this year, and he was spouting off like five different life lessons that I’ve been teaching him in his entire life.

So he’s talking about, you know, if you’re just being a jerk or if you’re, or, um, he’s talking about how important it’s to, to, to have tone and to get great eye contact. He had great, um, presence about him and just so proud that. The world around him, a better place. And that’s such a, a rewarding thing as a dad.

Something I care about is we want these kids to, you know, I’m myself, 20 and 30 years from now. We need these kids to be great people. And I just love that. Um, hopefully all the work that I’m putting in, what will pay off it. And so far it has.

That’s awesome. That’s gonna be a very proud moment as a dad, man, I, I can see you just radiating as you talk about it.

That’s awesome. Yeah, to see those, you try and you try and do things as dad, right? You try and teach good lessons and, but when you actually get to see them come out, you’re like, yes, yes, I did something right?

Absolutely.

Welcome to the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast, the unfiltered truth about being a dad. Real dads real stories, unfiltered, candid conversations on fatherhood. I’m your host, Brent Dowlen, and today my guest is Paul Compeau. Paul, welcome to the Dad Hat  Shenanigans podcast.

Thanks for having me. I’m excited to talk to you and the listeners.

Oh, Paul, we’re off to a great start this morning. I, I love your story and uh, we’ll see if I can actually do my job today. ’cause right now with. Magic Eight Ball says, not likely, but it’s gonna be a great conversation. That’s one of the reasons I love doing this show is dads are just so much fun. I get to relax and just enjoy talking to other men about my favorite subject.

I have two daughters and I love, I love everything about being a dad, so this is a fun show for me to do. And I am really excited because you are wearing a great dad hat. And I, I really wanna know what this dad hat is about for all of you listening. I tell you guys, I, this is of course a podcast, but you gotta check out the videos sometimes.

’cause some of the hats that come on this show are amazing. And Paul is wearing this beautiful princessy, pinkish party hat from what? So Paul tells about this.

Yeah. So, um, when you said you have to wear a hat, you know, I was like, okay, I don’t normally wear a hat, so what, what am I, I don’t, I, I have a collection of ball caps at home, but none of them really represent like fatherhood.

So I, I’m scurrying around in my kids’ stuff and everything else. Trying to find what really, you know, shows part of fatherhood in right. Kind of befuddled me for a few minutes, but I found this one and what I thought about was just celebrating the, the, the great things that your kids are doing right. Um, and always being positive.

And I think I heard it on, on the, um, either on a video or video podcast recently. Um, as often as you can catch your kids doing good things, um, and pointing it out. And it’s not just your kids, it’s the people you work with. It’s your employees, it’s your boss, it’s everybody around you. Catch and say something about it.

Right? So celebrating everything that, that is good about them. Celebrating everything that, you know, we think about it most on their birthdays or special occasions like that. But, um, doing that on a, a constant basis is something that I’m natural, not, not naturally good at. When I do personality assessments and things like that, I’m very good at finding a problem with the system and trying to.

Fix it. Um, I’m not very good at being like, oh, these are the best parts of it. Let’s celebrate that. Right. Um, so it’s something I’ve had to work on. Um, but it’s something I love to be able to do is just encourage them all the good things they’re doing and that’s gonna help them keep doing those good things.

I love it. I love it. Celebrating every moment with them is, I think is one of those opportunities as a dad actually. Because a lot of men are not, we’re, we’re not good at that. Like, I, I don’t celebrate small wins. I, I teach people to celebrate small wins, and I try to remember to smell like my kids’ small wins all over that mine.

Yeah. Whatever, you know, uh, right. My toxic trade is, you know, I, I get through something, I’m just onto the next thing. I don’t enjoy it. I’m like, yay. No, I, I don’t care. Just on this task. Yeah. So it’s something I, I talk about. Four men. ’cause I know this a struggle for us. I think our kids help us learn that.

Uh, I thinks that’s one of the gifts of being a dad is your children really help you. ’cause you want to celebrate everything they do. Uh,

yeah.

There’s so much magic. Paul, how many kids do you have?

Uh, two kids. So, uh, my oldest is 11. Um, he, he’s absolutely amazing. Um, and then my, I have an 8-year-old daughter and she’s full of love and full of grace and a little bit of an emotional teenager at some points, but, uh, absolutely, um, shows love in some amazing ways that, that the rest of the family doesn’t actually do as well.

So it’s just amazing to, to see her blossom.

So, Paul, tell us a little bit about you. Who are you, what do you do? Let’s get some context before we jump into the conversation today.

Yeah. So, um, dad, first and foremost, that’s my, my primary role. Um, heard somebody say, um. All your kids are homeschooled, whether you choose to or not.

So I, I take that to heart. It’s my responsibility to make sure they’re developing not just academically, but as socially and, um, their abilities and everything like that. So, um, love that job. That’s probably my primary. Um, but I run a few businesses. Uh, my main one is college.

Path in life. Um, certified counselors that are meeting with the kids to make sure if college is the right opportunity, that they’re selecting the right major, selecting the right career path, selecting the right schools, and then helping them get into those schools as well. Um, and then on the flip side of that business, we’re also working with the parents with financial planning of how they’re actually gonna pay that bill and maybe how they can pay less and get more in financial aid.

Okay. So that’s, this is a very valuable service. Uh. I know so many people who are just drowning in college debt because it, it wasn’t a thought until so much later in life. You know, your, your kid starts getting to that sophomore, junior and comes home from the, uh, counselor with like these college pamphlets.

They’re like, oh, they told us to start looking at, it’s like, wait college. Huh? Oh yeah, that’s a thing. Huh Uh, so that sounds like a great thing to help people with. ’cause I, it can be so, so expensive. Uh,

yeah. And, and that is our, our specialty is late stage college planning. So we’re normally working with people, you know.

Through middle school and high school, um, is our specialty. So everyone knows, and you, you have kids, you know this, you shoulda started saving when you first found out you were pregnant. Right. Um, but it’s, it’s normal to, to not do that or maybe not do it as much as you should. Right. So here’s somebody, say, open an account, put, you know, you should be putting 800 a month each into it, but you didn’t have the money back then, right.

Much. Trying to juggle all the extra expenses of kids and everything like that. And you have the baby and you have the toddler, and then you have the preschooler and now they’re in school and they’re awesome kids and you wanna take trips with them and maybe you have a couple kids, so you need a bigger car and you need a bigger house.

And all the other things that, that are great things that you’re providing for your family. Those are all more urgent than saving for college 10 or 15 years in the future. Right. And that’s kind of how we act naturally as humans. So for all your listeners that have a middle school or a high school student and they don’t have hundred thousand per kid already saved up for college, that’s normal, right?

That that’s how everybody does it. I’m not saying it’s the right way to do it, but it’s normal. Um, so that’s what we specialize in, is helping those families. Almost last minute. You know, it’s the, you know, we talk about kids in their homework, right? It’s the night before the papers due, right? That’s when people get stuff done.

Um, and uh, I don’t have a psychology degree or anything like that, but I study that kind of stuff as much as I can. And there’s laws of human nature that, that just always, you know, if, if you have to leave at three o’clock to go to grandma’s house. Whatever you’re doing is gonna expand until three o’clock and you’re gonna be rushing at the last minute to get everything together to go to grandma’s house.

Right. Um, it’s just how we operate as humans. So, um, yeah. Wanna let everybody know that if you feel behind, but that’s normal. Um, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything about it, but, um, that’s how everybody is.

Oh yeah. I think that’s right. Every dad I’ve ever talked to about finding out their dad right. It, it, there’s like a three phase.

Reaction. There’s the, oh my God, I’m gonna be a dad. Right. The, the first stunning reaction followed almost immediately, like, oh my God, my house is not safe. Everything in my house is dangerous and I’ve gotta fix everything in my house tonight. Right. And then the third thing that hits them is, oh my God, how am I gonna pay for all this?

I can’t afford to have a kid. Right, right. And, and it like, I’m just like. Magic. Those, those are the three phases of finding out you’re gonna be a father for the first time. And I’m not sure we ever get past that. Oh my God, how am I gonna pay for this of being a dad? Yeah. ’cause everything’s more expensive.

Everything. You’re like, oh, I gotta buy this. You’re gonna, and there are things you can’t even think of that you’re gonna have to buy in the future. Right. Uh, I think that starts a tailspin for a lot of fathers of. Just scrambling. Oh, oh, I gotta work more hours. I gotta get a better job. I gotta upright up my game.

I gotta, I gotta do something. ’cause oh my God, I gotta pay for all these things now. And we’re not even to that college part yet. That, that’s just like, uh, right. So,

well, and there’s, there’s so many things that, um. And I don’t have an actual statistic on this, but this is just my personal opinion, but it seems like every decade we go further and further into time, there’s like twice as many things that parents have to worry about, right?

So you think back to watching videos from the sixties and seventies and stuff like that, and it’s like they just threw the kid in the car and gave them a cup to, to drink their stuff outta, and it didn’t matter. They didn’t sanitizers, they didn’t have car seats, they didn’t have all this other stuff that we worry about.

I see. Um, my, my kids obviously are a little older, but I see new parents today and it’s like, oh, all the different gad need all the different things that, um, they, they’re not bad things. They’re good things, but it’s like we didn’t have to worry about any of that stuff. And I felt like we had to worry a lot more than, than my, my sister who had kids 15 years before me.

So, yeah, it’s absolutely crazy.

I, I’ve done an episode on I think both my podcasts talking about the truth, about what you really need as a new dad, uh, because so many dads are afraid of this, like it is my most popular show on an on a podcast has almost 400 episodes. It is still my number one downloaded show, and I did it three years ago.

Wow.

Because every new dad has this panic moment. And guys, here’s, here’s the great secret. You don’t need a whole lot, but Right. The one thing I, I absolutely advocate for that was not available earlier on for younger, earlier parents is a wipe warmer.

Okay?

Because having not cold, wet wipes on your changing table, especially if you live in a cold climate.

It’s magical. There’s a whole lot less screaming when it comes to changing diapers. Okay. You don’t need it, but it’s the only, it is, it is like the luxury item. I’m like, yeah, this is worth the splurge. Just to cut down the crying, like a warm wipe cuts down so much crying, uh, changing time. Uh, other than that, it’s like, you know, we, we got all the new stuff, right?

Like everybody ev we got bombarded with stuff and it’s like, yeah, that’s nice. Yeah. That’s nice. We had a lot of nice stuff to give to other people when they, when they, yeah.

We, we had the same thing. We’ve been, we’re still cleaning out some of that stuff outta the, the basement in the garage. It’s like, why do we still have the, the old car seats or the old, whatever else we have?

Um, yeah, passing on the bassinets and the cribs and everything else. Whoever just had their kids.

The Diaper Genie, you know. Interesting to mention. Uh, we, we loved giving that to somebody else. Oh, right. Love this. Uh, yeah. The, the joys of fatherhood. It’s, it just comes with an automatic bill. Let, let me ask you, Paul, what was the best piece of advice you were given when you found out you, you’re gonna be a father?

Best piece of advice I was given, um.

Question little, if you don’t mind. I’ll say the most unique advice I got, I got a really good advice. Uh, um, but I always sought my passed very wise and always had some, had a lot life experiences and, um, loved him a big life decision or had a big life chain. Do. We would always go talk to grandpa. Um. And what?

When I went to him and I said, Hey, we’re having our first kid, what advice would you have for for parenting? He thought about it for a minute and he said, protect your wife from your kids. And I’m like, it just seemed like such an out outta the blue, like didn’t expect that as, as what he would gimme as parenting advice.

And now that I have a little bit of experience here as a father, I completely get it because it’s not just, you know, the, usually the, the female mentality is they’re gonna give and they’re gonna give and they’re gonna give and they’re gonna sacrifice themselves and they’re not gonna get their arrest, they’re not gonna get there.

Um. Their, their mental health and all the other things for the benefit of that kid. That’s where the kid, not even purposely the kid’s a baby, still, they’re already a right. Um, and then they go on, go on be um, you ad kid and they’re doing the same thing. Right. But actively. So mom is, you know, taking care of the, the packing, the lunch for school and the snack and making sure the backpack’s organized, making sure they’re doing their homework after.

And mom’s doing all of this stuff for them, doing their, you know, whatever the, the chores split up is at the house. It’s usually the mom providing everything and most cases, and that’s where those kids are gonna taking of.

You have to protect your wife. You have to make sure she’s getting her free time, making sure she’s getting her mental health, um, and make sure that that kid isn’t taken advantage of her. So I, I just thought that was such a unique thing to, to think about in that, that fatherhood process.

Oh my goodness.

That is a phenomenal piece of advice. You said that was your grandfather that

gave you back

Yeah. That your, your grandfather was so on point that that is some of the best early fatherhood of ice. Uh, that is something I actually put on the new dads. Here’s what you need to know. That is one of the things, like, you need to protect your wife ’cause mm-hmm.

This is gonna take a whole lot out of her really quick. So, wow. That’s, I didn’t get any great advice to that level. I gotta admit, I, I had some good advice, but that one is so, so valuable, uh, especially in hindsight.

Mm-hmm.

They’re 11 and 13 now, and in, in hindsight, you know, it’s like. That was one of the best things I ever managed to do.

I didn’t do it perfectly, but try to protect her and give her a little space, a little chance to breathe a little, make sure that she is not totally drained by this whole situation. That’s stellar advice. Mm-hmm. That’s, write that down, like, unless you’re driving, then just come write that down later. Okay.

Really, really stellar advice. What is the best thing about being a dad?

Best thing about being a dad.

The, once again, there’s so much, um, I, I think it’s kind of like the story we talked about is just seeing the, seeing the work that you put in pay off. Right. Um, seeing that, that you get to, to help be the. The co-author to that life story as a kid, right? Um, that you get to create the experiences you get to create the memories you get to spend the time you get to, to develop them into some great people.

Um, and they get to choose their own path, but they choose their own path based on what they’ve learned, right? Um, and that’s an amazing co-author kind of story of you’re working together to, to help them understand different things, to help enlighten them, to help them. Path, try it out and path and realize, you know, that is a great path that wasn’t right.

Um, and having them make those mistakes and having them fail over and over and over again, um, is just such an amazing thing that, um, how, how resilient they are, how amazing they, they can do. That just fills me up with joy, right.

Paul, what do you wanna dive into today? Where, where we want to go with being dads today?

Yeah. Um. I mean, obviously, uh, we, we, I work in college planning. I love talking about college planning. I, I think it’s such an amazing thing to, to put kids on the right path. Um, and that’s where a lot of kids, they, they struggle with that, especially in those middle school and high school years. When the, the counselors at school, they don’t have a ton of time to work with them, but they told them to do a career assessment kind of thing.

See, start exploring those ideas. Um. Don’t have somebody to talk to about that. So the parents in as best they can, but they dunno all the different careers that are out there, especially a lot of the new ones that are coming out. Um, so the kids are usually exposed to their teacher at school, their doctor, and what their parents do as a living.

And those are the only careers they kind of know. Um, and being able to open up those different paths and help the student to pick that path, to walk down and, and see how it goes and see if they’re interested in it and how to explore that is such a, a cool thing. So when we do that college planning with the kids, we, we don’t start with what college do you wanna go to?

We start, you know, eighth, ninth grade with what career path is best for you. And I have the luxury of, I have. Amazing counselors on my team. I’m not qualified to tell a 17-year-old what to do with their life. Um, so we have the amazing counselors on our team that are working with those students who have the, the, the correct assessments, who have the relationship with the student, who have the ability to, to work with them on a one-on-one basis to develop what that right career path might be.

And we’re working with teenagers, so we do a second and a third backup. Um, but when we start with that. The first part of college planning is, is college the right path, right. For that career? So if we don’t have the solid career path, we dunno yet, right? So then we develop, okay, is college a a great way to, to advance in that career path?

And a lot of times it’s. And that’s where when we look at the, the career path, it’s not just the education you get at college, it’s the, the relationships you build, it’s the, the atmosphere. It’s becoming an adult, all those different things. Um, you know, and this is something I didn’t do great when I was in college.

Is developing those relationships with my peers there that for years on end I could call back on those relationships. And for a lot of people, you know, you hear about becoming business partners. You hear about connecting later in life to, to work on a project together or hiring someone or whatever else it might be that those opportunities exist or just calling them when you need, you’re both having kids and you’re like this, this is crazy.

Right? Um, and need to bounce something off of them having those friendships. Um, lot of times college is a, um.

People that you’re meeting there are all on that same level, right? Um, they’re all people who push themselves. They’re all people who wanna be leaders. They’re who want that greatness in their life. Um, and that’s expensive. It’s because the relationships and the things that you can springboard from there are much different.

So that’s why we love talking about financial so much. Also year per student, um, to go to a lot those. Um, and that’s why we end up talking with a lot of our families once we get the student to be selecting the right school and helping them with their essays and applications and all the process of gonna college.

We’re working with on how do we pay less and how do we make sure we have that bill paid as well.

Paul, let me uh, walk this back just a little bit and let’s start with grounding parents a little bit who see this future and go, Hey, you know, I, I haven’t thought about it, I haven’t done anything with it yet.

Are, you know, my kid’s a third grader? Why, why, why are, why is this about. Where should we start looking for uh uh, now? Obviously the best answer for any kind of planning is, I should have started yesterday or a year ago. The best is now, uh, yeah, only for any goal you’re shooting for, but most of us don’t think about that at all when our kids are younger.

Sure. When is the time to start exploring, like, how do we help start even setting our kids up for success with that? You said? A lot of kids don’t know what other career paths are out there, what jobs are out there. Yeah. How do we as parents start to help expose our kids to more ideas, more career paths and stuff like that?

Yeah, great question. Um, that does start when they’re young, right? So I have two things that I’ve done, and that’s all I can share with you on that. Okay. Two, two great things that I think, uh, are very repeatable, very easy. They both go to, to, to being there, having the availability, spend time with the kids.

So, um, I’m blessed. Um, my kids’ school is right on the way to my office. So, um, seven o’clock till seven 30 every single morning. I have that time in the car with my kids that we get to talk about stuff and, um, I get to, to set my own schedule. So I pick them up from school a couple days a week, and I, I just get blessed with that time with our kids and that camp replaced.

So one of the things we do when we’re talking about career exploration with elementary age students, um, is to, to think about. Earning money. What problem do you, somebody? So it’s not what job you, what rights.

What’s a problem in the world that you might be able to solve? Right? And looking for that and thinking about that is just such a different way of thinking about career opportunities because, and then we do talk about, you know, bigger problems, the more money you might make, right? Um, because if somebody, um.

A problem, they’re willing to spend more money to fix it. Right? If they have a little problem, you might have to fix a thousand problems a year in order to, to make enough money. Right? Um, so, or if it’s an easy problem to fix, then you might have to help a lot more people in order to do that, right? Um, so those are the kind of things that, um, we’re, I’m talking about with my kids.

Um. Kind of problem do you wanna solve instead of what job do you wanna have? So, um, the other part is not giving them handouts. So the the other thing that I’ve done is if they wanna buy something for themselves, they have to go and work for somebody else outside of my house. I don’t, um, and it’s not wrong anyway.

You do. It isn’t wrong, but I don’t give my kids an allowance. Um, we do provide them everything they need and anything else they want, they can go out, they can work for it. Um. Find a problem to. So, um, they’re doing odd jobs for their, their and uncles. They’re years. Um, they spend their own money on Christmas presents, right?

We would just go to the dollar. So, understand. It was so funny because they’re like three, four years. I’m like, you need one for every person. You’re gift plus one extra for the tax. Right? Um, so simplifying it, them understand. But yeah, they’re, they’re, um, you know, my son saved up enough money, bought a, you know, a Nintendo Switch when he was nine years old.

Um, bought all the games for it, all the controllers, like everything he wanted to, to get, he did enough work, he saved half of the money off to the side, and then from his spending money had enough money to do that. So, um. Okay. It’s the same thought process though, of what career do you want, what problem are you capable of solving right now for somebody, right?

So they went and they leaves for neighbors and I mean, we know the neighbors are really just doing charity work to throw them 20. They’re like, they still can’t do a great job at some of that when they’re younger. But it’s teaching those lessons of providing a service, providing value for other people is how you generate income for yourself.

So, um, that’s the, the focus at a younger age is just. Problems that are out there. You know, the, the gar, we take the, have the kids or myself take the garbage cans out. Well, what problem does a garbage man solve? Right? What problem does this person solve? So, um, you know, you’re, you’re at a, a sports game.

What problem does that usher solve right now? Why do they make money? Um, all the different things that, that you see around you. You can just throw that out there and because you’re spending that time with them, you’re there with them, you’re doing those things. Um, you can have those conversations.

I’m so having that conversation with my kids, I, I thought I was pretty forward thinking.

Like I, I started working with, uh, finances with my kids several years ago. Um, yeah, because I learned one of my big life p when I turned 40, I realized how much I didn’t know about finances. Uh, my, my dad was not gua money. We never had a lot of money. He didn’t know anything about finances. And subsequently, you know, he couldn’t teach me what he didn’t know, what he didn’t even know.

He didn’t know. And when I was 40, I had this like wake up moment with my 401k. And so for the next year I just pursued like hard pursued my own education and financial IQ and like financial iq. Uh, you know, learning the different ways to make money and stuff like that. I didn’t know there was a way to make money other than trading time for money and investing, right.

But that became a very big passion for me. So like, my kids have investment accounts and I sit down and we talk dividends and we talk, uh, capital gains versus dividend investments versus long-term investments and short-term investments. Uh, savings, right. We really got into this with the kids. Yeah. I started paying my kids to do book reports for me.

I would buy them age appropriate books on investing, marketing, anything, would teach them something and I would pay them not only buy the book, but pay them to read these books and do a book report for me, uh, to teach them things I knew school wasn’t going to upfront. Right? Yeah. But the perspective of what problem do you wanna solve?

As a solution for how do you wanna make a living? That that is a great, great idea as far as coming at it from the direction. Yeah, because that’s what we all do, right? We all solve some problem for somebody, or we’re probably not doing much if we’re not. I just never framed it that way, man. That’s big takeaway.

There’s the big takeaway from the show, guys, right there. Write that down. This is a conversation you need to have with your, with your kids, right there. Don’t make it about ma money, make it about solving problems in the world. Uh, ’cause that will tell you a lot about your child’s personality anyway. Who do they wanna?

I have really, my youngest child is super empathetic, so it’ll be really interesting to see which problems she wants to solve. I’m gonna have to have that conversation later today when we finish recording. Yeah, I, yeah, I love that. So

well, and the, the other cool part is the teenagers dream big. Right. So, uh, may, maybe not at my kids’ age quite yet, they dunno all the big problems that are in the world.

And that’s a little bit on purpose, right? We, it’s our part of our job is to shelter them from some of the stuff that’s going on, but still be honest about things and everything. It’s a fine balance we get to do as fathers, but, um, as they, they move forward, you know, my, my nephew a senior in high school right now.

Absolutely brilliant. Um. Him that question just at a birthday party for one of the cousins or something like that, and he says, uh, he wants to solve perpetual energy. You can make more energy without having to take energy. Mm-hmm. More energy to do it. It’s like, that’s amazing. Go and do it. Right. Um, so, and that’s the, the kind of things that they’ll come up with and it’s like, okay, what education do you need to do that 15 or 20 years from now?

Right. Because you’re not gonna do that tomorrow. You dunno enough to do that. Right. But what do you need to, to learn about? What do you need to, where do you need to, to work to develop those skills? Who else would you need to help you to do those kind of things? It’s just amazing. Then they pick path. I dunno if that’ll end up being his full path, but you take that path and then you find out it was wasn’t right path.

Right. And that’s okay too. So I go back to, um, it was, uh. Sorry, Teddy Roosevelt, um, the in the Arena speech, um, where he talk about full Speech Republic. It’s amazing. It’s an hour longer. So, um, great. Listen, if you love freedom, love being in America, like the whole speech is really good. But the big thing, and I share this with every team that I ever coach of my kids and all the different stuff, there’s soccer and baseball and all, everybody.

Do gonna make mistakes. The expectation is when you’re in the arena, you’re gonna be dirty, you’re gonna be bloody, you’re gonna be sweaty, like it’s not gonna be pretty. You’re gonna to, they have a, I dunno if it’s direct, but a paraphrase to do is to. And that’s the expectation is if you’re doing enough important things, the expectation is you’re not gonna get it right.

You’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna do it. Um, but it’s the person who’s in the arena that’s actually trying, that’s actually doing it, that gets all the credit. And if my nephew succeeds at Perpetual Engineering, he’s gonna amazing victories because.

Victory. Not gonna make it right, but that’s the person who gets all the credit. The person who’s doing those things, who’s trying, it’s person on the outside saying, Hey, shoulda done better. Right?

He better be careful. They got rid of Tesla for that one. He, he succeeded. He absolutely succeeded. Energy disappeared shortly after.

Uh. I, I’ve seen the, a video of the actual experiment he did, and it’s absolutely possible just doing on a bigger scale is, you know, would take more than someone to Sure. TikTok to show you how it worked. But, uh, yeah, sorry. The conspiracy hack command.

Um, so we’re starting with the conversation of what problem do you wanna solve? As parents, as our kids move to this next stages, how do we support them with moving towards that? Okay, I’ve, I have this thing that I think I really wanna solve and I’m passionate about. How do we start guiding them in a way that helps them instead of overshadows them?

Yeah. So you’re, you’re wanting to, to empower them to explore that as much as possible as early as possible, right? Mm-hmm. Um, so it’s hard, you know, not in elementary school, but probably not in middle school, but by the time they get to high school, they can do job shadows. You can call a friend that’s in that industry and have them talk about a lunch with them, right?

You, you, you can get them exposed to what that actually means, what that actually looks like. Um, and everything like that. So that’s a lot of what we’re encouraging students in those beginning years of high school. Um, by, by ninth, 10th grade. We wanna have a solid path of which direction we’re heading. Um, it doesn’t mean that’s the only path.

It doesn’t mean they’re gonna change, but we wanna have that path. Front of them. Um, and then based on that path, one of the things we’re focused on with those students is how do we develop that resume for that next step? So for us, a lot times that is college after high school. Um. If we wanna make sure that the activities they’re doing support that application we’re gonna be writing, um, we wanna make sure that the classes they’re taking are gonna support the application that they’re gonna be writing.

All those different things add up to, do we get into the perfect universities for them or do we get declined? Right? Um, so how much can they handle? I’m a father that is always pushing my kids to the next level. Um, my, my kids, their school still teaches at grade level, so I’m doing homework at home so they can practice further ahead and things like that.

Um, but when, when we’re looking at the student, um. What, what’s the hardest class schedule that they can handle, right, that they can still get all As? Um, those are the kind of things that we’re working with the students on to develop that path of how is that gonna look on a resume. So we’re not creating anything that the student isn’t already just to create a college resume.

We’re encouraging them to pursue the things they’re passionate about. Right? Um, so if a student, you know, they’re in their sophomore year and they did four clubs their sophomore year and think they’re thinking for their junior year, we don’t wanna do that much, right? Because we’re taking a heavier course load.

We need to drop two of those clubs. Well, if they’re gonna be an engineering major, maybe don’t drop the robotics club. Right? Those are the kind decisions we’re helping them make because that’s something they’re interested, which work.

Right.

Time allows them to think through what is that gonna look like from a college admission standpoint, which gets them into universities that might get better financial aid for the parents and might be a better fit for the student. Um, so that, that’s ultimately the goal when we’re doing a, a college list is.

It’s the curriculum, right? We need the right major there. We need the right level of academics for that student. Um, but we need the right culture on campus. Um, so if don’t pick the right, if it’s in the middle nowhere and they’re a kind of kid, um, might not be a good right vice. Um, it’s, uh, a huge campus.

If it’s a small campus, if it’s a very liberal campus or a very conservative campus, right? There’s different fields. Um, and different groups of students that they’re gonna be surrounded by. We want them, um, not to be like everybody else, but we want them to fit in and have friends that have like-minded people that they can connect with, right?

Um, so that’s a lot of what we’re looking at. But the third one is where most even college counselors don’t really look is the right cost. It.

It’s, they’re not gonna be able to finish the four year bachelor’s degree. Right. And that’s when most families find out that it isn’t a cost fit, unfortunately, is at the end of sophomore year. Too much for the first two years and all of a sudden, not only can they not, and we’re talking middle class families, you know, the first two years somebody takes out parent loans is the most common thing that we see.

You talk about the student loan crisis, it’s absolutely crazy out there, but it’s usually the parents that are taking on those student loans because the students, nobody wants to loan the kid money. So there’s nobody in the world that wants to loan an 18-year-old, a whole bunch of money without a fulltime job.

Right. Um, so the only ones that do is the federal government. It’s only six each year. That doesn’t come close to covering the might cost. So the parents, usually they pay what they can. Savings, they pay what they pocket, but that usually doesn’t cover it either. So they end up taking out those parent loans.

And because it wasn’t a cost fit for all four years, we’re just talking about the first student. We really need to talk about the second and third students also. But it’s the second year usually that they’re paying, you know, a thousand or a month on those parent loans, on top of their car loans, on top of their mortgage, on top of all the household bills.

On top of all the, the stuff you wanna do for your family. And at that point they say, well, we can’t do another year. We can’t add another 600 on top of that 12. They’re already paying. So it’s not that they don’t have the money, they already didn’t have the money to pay for college. They can’t even borrow more money for those students to go back.

And that’s where we need to make sure from the get go that we’re mapping out that college plan. So that’s another thing that even, uh, in elementary school, a parent could do. Um, the first step of figuring that out. And I’m not expecting your families to figure out the whole problem, but they can at least do, the first step is lay out year by year, semester by semester how much money you’re gonna need.

And that’s something that most people haven’t done because they didn’t think about it, that it’s not a pressing issue quite yet. Um, but, but even with kids your age, map it out for at least four years for each of your students and how much money are you gonna actually need to pay for the, the type of university they might be coming out at.

Hey guys. Sorry to interrupt the podcast. This is Brent, the on my editing hat on. And guys, something I noticed was for the rest of the interview, if you’re watching on YouTube or Rumble, the video gets fuzzy. The audio is perfect, nothing is wrong with it. You can hear Paul, and you’ve already probably taken away some great insights from Paul so far.

I know I learned so much talking to him about preparing for my children’s education, and I hope you guys are getting a lot out of this. If you’re watching the video Paul’s face, he was using AI camera and it started getting a little glitzy and we talked about it afterwards and he didn’t have time to rerecord the last 15 minutes of the show.

So the audio is great. Just laugh at the fact that his face got a little fuzzy and, uh, please continue to enjoy the show. Paul has so much great stuff to share with you guys. You said something very interesting to me. Uh, you said they’re not teaching that in my school, so I’ve got daddy homework for my kids.

Um, I think that’s something that not all parents realize is not every school. I’d love to say that schools across the board were great, but they’re not, you know? Right. Not every school is teaching at the same level. Uh, whether they’re teaching in your kid’s school may not really be at a level that you think it should be at.

Uh, so, you know, be, be active. Understanding what

I’m gonna sound, uh, hard ass and maybe a little elitist, but my kids are at one of the best private schools there that are around, and they’re still not pushing the kid as much as they should, uh, in my opinion. Right. And that’s one of the things that, um, I heard, uh, a little while back and it just hit me like right square between the eyes is your kids are homeschooled, whether you know it or not.

It’s to take care of your kids’ education and all the different areas. So, um, yeah, that’s kind of the, the take I, I have on it.

Yeah. It’s, uh, I, I think that’s something I learned during the dreaded 20, 20, 20 to 22 mess. Yep. Was I got a, a close look at what was being taught in my kids’ schools and I was like.

We, we’ve gotta remap this. Uh, so we, we started homeschooling our kids actually. Uh, we, we buy our curriculum, but then homeschool our kids. Yeah. And so my eighth grader this year is doing, in our town, it it’s sophomore and junior level work.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, comparatively to what the public school is doing. So be, be.

Yeah. And there’s

no reason that they, they can’t, if they, they’re bright and they’re doing it on their own and they’re just spending a few hours a day doing it. Mm-hmm. Um, but it’s, it’s absolutely, and I value, I, I’ve had the thought back and forth of should we just go full homeschool or not? Just because the schedule would be so much nicer to be able to travel a little more during the school year and stuff like that.

But, um. I found me and my kids, we put a little more emphasis on the value of those social issues, especially in elementary school. Pain in the ass kids. They have to deal with other kids who don’t think the same way that they do, that don’t behave the same the way they do, and learn how to not let that be an influence on them, but have them be an influence on, on the other kids and all the other things that, that, um, I just find so much value in that.

So, um, yeah. I’m.

Recess,

Beate, kids ing. Um, that’s some amazing lessons that, that are good. Um, you can get elsewhere, but I, that school. Well,

Paul, as we, as we start moving towards landing this plane, what’s the best piece of advice you would give dads?

I’d give dads. I actually, it’s the same advice I give people when they, they start at my company, young especially, you know, somebody comes in their twenties and they’re here. Um, same thing for, for us as dads is put in the hard work early. Um, so a, a lot of what we do as parents is in the first three or four years, um, if you can put in as much work as you can in those first three or four years, um, to create a student, create a kid.

Kid you love to be around that. Other adults love to be around. They’re gonna be annoying sometimes, but not to the point where nobody wants be around them. Right? They’re, they’re gonna be a smart ass sometimes, but not to point where other people don’t wanna be around them, right? Um, they’re gonna make some mistakes and they’re gonna be who they are.

But we want them to, to be the great person that that other adults wanna be around, other kids wanna be around. And from a social standpoint, from an education standpoint, we want the kid who, parents who other parents wanna have over. Right? Well, that other teachers wanna spend a little extra effort because they know they’re a good kid.

Right. Add up to, and we want the other kids to have fun with them, right? Make your kids fun. Um, but a lot of that is done in those first 3, 4, 5 years. And if you put in the work, then that’s gonna pay off for a very long time. And if you put in that work, you can do that work later. It’s a lot harder. Um, and not only is it a lot harder.

It doesn’t have a big effect for as many years. Right? So, um, when I’m coaching, you know, some of the, the, the younger team members that we have here, it’s like the work you put in your twenties, if you’re gonna work till you’re 60, that’s gonna pay off for 30 or 40 years, right? If you put that same amount of effort into learning and education and development, if you do that in your fifties, it’s only 10 years left.

Right? Um. So if you that work in early, put in the extra hours with your kids, put in the extra time with them, um, whatever it takes. Not saying to ignore the financials because we have bills. As much as you can spend that extra time, that quality time and helping them do the right, um, for me, I take of being high expectations and those expectations, what they’re capable and how be.

The time is what allows that to happen. So, um, yeah, it’s, uh, it’s tough. It’s, you don’t get enough sleep. You’re already, you have other stresses for, from everywhere else. But, um, the more time you can just spend with your kids and keep teaching them, putting in that effort to, to show ’em the right way.

Paul, if we, our conversation has like, you know, flip some switches in, in dad’s minds right now and they’re like, oh my God, I don’t know.

The first thing about college planning and you know, is it too early? Where is the best place for people to follow up with you?

Yeah. So if they wanna follow up with me, um. College, uh, path. Um, you can go to bridge CP com. Um, you can type into Google, um, bridge college planning that’ll come up. Um, I like going that way because then you see all our five star reviews and, um, there’s an opportunity on there for a college readiness breakthrough session.

That’s where we can get to know your family, understand where your students are at, um, if they’re in middle school or high school. We’ll be talking as well about the students’ academics. What help you have to, to develop in those areas if they’re younger. We’re gonna be focused on the financial side and how that, that college plan is going together, how your financial plan is going together.

Um, and that’s where we’re fiduciary financial advisors, but we’re not just financial planners. We also have the team of college counselors that’s helping the students to, to really do that. So I’d encourage them. Um, picket said there’s a fool with a plan is better than a genius with none. Right. I’m sure you’ve said similar things to your kids.

Um, and it’s the same thing with college planning. I’ve never seen somebody get better results by delaying and waiting till later and figuring it out. You know, a few years later, the people who start early are the people who succeed in this process. So if they want that college readiness breakthrough session, um, we’re a fee based company.

So if you don’t mind, I’ll disclose what, what that fee is. We charge between three and $8,000 per family that comes through our program. Don’t let that some scare anybody away from coming in and getting answers their questions. The first session is complimentary. You’re gonna get some great advice. We’re gonna point you in the right direction.

Um, for a lot of people, we’re not gonna end up working with you. Um, so only about three out every 10 families who come in for a college readiness rates recession end up getting the opportunity to work with us, and that’s why we have all five star reviews. Because we’re, we have an amazing team around me here.

Um, that’s a big part of it. But the other part of it is we’re so selective on who we sign on. We’re looking for a huge return on that with our company that, that if you’re not gonna get eight times or 10 times that money back, we’re probably not gonna recommend you for service

services. And you had a college workshop.

What is that about?

Yeah, so if you go to bridge CP com, you’re not quite ready to have a, a full meeting, one-on-one with us. Um, we do have a workshop available as well. Um, that’s one hour. Um, usually we do those once or twice on a virtual basis every single week. We have some local, in different areas of the country as well.

Um, but everybody can take advantage of that virtual workshop. Um, and as you click on that. It’s an hour and 15 minutes. We’re gonna cram that entire college planning all the expertise you need down into just a couple minutes. So you’ll have the ability to, to learn more on there.

And of course, we’ll have all the links for Paul down in the show notes, YouTube description, whatever platform you’re joining us on today, we’ll make sure that you can follow up with Paul.

Uh, because I, I know like for me, this is a lot of food for thought, like I, I really. My oldest is starting eighth grade. I’m, I’m not even thinking about college yet, and is like, uh uh. So, you know, for all of us dads out there who are having a slight panic attack right now, I’m listening to this episode, it’s not too late.

There are people who can help you with this journey, who actually know something about it. I watch my parents do this with my sister and figure it out on their own, and. Oh my goodness. What a mess. It was for like, my, my, my family was lower income. My father was a, a domestic missionary. We didn’t have a lot of money and watching my parents and my sister try and navigate this whole college thing and how to pay for that and how to get loans and how to get grants and guys.

Mm-hmm. Out there. So I would absolutely recommend talking to Paul or somebody who knows something about this college thing. ’cause it, it’s, it’s a monster to tackle on your own. And if that is the path your kids are going on, you’re gonna want the help. Absolutely. Paul, we, we talked a little bit about a lot of it.

If our audience heard nothing else today, what do you wanna leave ’em with?

Uh.

Quality time. It doesn’t mean you have to spend money and go spend a bunch of money at the arcade. I mean, just go, go to the local park and kick a ball around the field or sit with them or spend that time with them. Um, I, I love car time because they’re, they could read a book, but there’s not much else to do, but talk to dad.

So the, the more you can get somebody I, I’ve heard with teenagers just sit them in the passenger seat on the car and go for a long drive and it’s amazing the conversations that are gonna happen. So mine are still in the backseat, but same thing. Um. Wherever you can, whenever you can, uh, and be a good person.

And if you’re listening to a podcast like this, you’re obviously will care about your kids and wanna do better. And that that’s all that, that’s, uh, we’re gonna make mistakes and doers always mistakes, right? We’re we’re all, we’re all doers, we’re all gonna make mistakes. But, um, if you’re putting in the time, the, the, the great lessons, the, the great, the greatness you instill in your children is gonna more than outweigh those mistakes.

Guys, for Paul and myself, thanks for hanging out with us today on the Dad Henas podcast. A community of dads just navigating life’s challenges together. Until next time, laugh, learn, and live the dad life.