33 Pieces of Advice for Dads from 33 Dads (Year-End Reflection)

33 Pieces of Advice for Dads from 33 Dads (Year-End Reflection)

Speaker: [00:00:00] You know what nobody tells you about fatherhood. You rarely know when you’re actually doing it, right? You just kind of hope. Hope that the one bad moment didn’t undo 10 good ones. Hope that your kids remember the love more than the mistakes. Hope that when they’re grown, they’ll at least know that you were, that you are making an effort.

Let’s face it, fatherhood is messy and. You can read books beforehand, but quite honestly, it changes from child to child, family to family. There is no perfect solution and most of the time we have no stinking idea what we’re doing. Well, this year on the dad Hatch, she Shannons podcast, I asked a simple question of all my guests, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly, and it was this simple question, what’s your best advice for dads?[00:01:00]

Well today to wrap out 2025, I wanna share the 33 answers that I got from talking to everyday Dads at every walk of life,

and just share the best advice they gave from the front lines guys, not theories, not expert tips, just real wisdom from real dads.

What’s up friends? Welcome to the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast, the show where fatherhood is honest, it’s messy, and nobody’s pretending that they got it all figured out. No crap. Just real Dads talking real life and sharing what they’re learning along the way. My name is Brent, and I’m your host, and if you’ve been listening to this all year, thank you truly for being a part of the show.

If this is your [00:02:00] first time joining us, thanks for giving us a shot. This is gonna be a very different episode than the majority of my episodes. I’m not doing an interview today. I know that technically it’s 2026. If this is your first time listening, you’ll know my voice. You’ll not know that this is not what my voice sounds like if this, I think I just said that wrong.

If this is your first time listening, then you don’t know. This is not what I normally sound like. If this is not your first time listening, then you might be able to guess as to why I didn’t get a show out this last week to end 2025 on time. But gentlemen, I wanted to share this episode with you. I wanted to do it earlier this week, and my voice has just not been working with me.

So this episode, this, there’s no polish. It’s not fancy. It’s reflective because I learn as much about being a dad from the dads I talk to, as I know from my own life. [00:03:00] 33 conversations. 33 dads. 33 pieces of advice I wish I had heard before I had kids. And now to end 2025 before we start the interviews that are already taking place for the 2026 part of this in our next episode.

I wanna share these 33 pieces of advice that I got from these dads with you guys. So this is a very listical kind of show. Let’s get into it. 33 lessons from 33 dads. I’m not gonna overexplain these, they don’t really need it. And if you want to go deeper on them, I’ve got 34 episodes recorded, guys. Go back and actually listen to the regular podcast, but this, this is just listicle.

So let them land where they land. Paul Con Pro shared this nugget with us, show up more than you actually speak. [00:04:00] Number two, consistency beats intensity. Number three, your kids don’t need a perfect then. They need a present Dad, Kevin, Diana. I, I said that wrong. Sorry, Kevin. Kevin, Diana said that, and guys, I think almost every guest I talked to actually shared something similar to that in the course of the conversation.

Number four, repair matters more than getting it right. I’ve learned that one the hard way in my own life. Five. Listen, before you lead six, who you are matters more than what you say. Your kids aren’t listening anyways. They’re watching. That little tidbit came from Nathan Turner, and that’s an incredible conversation.[00:05:00]

Number seven, small daily moments build lifelong bonds. Number eight. Be curious before you correct. That was an eye-opener gal. Asra guys, and that one is a must listen episode number nine, let your kids see your emotions. You have no idea the impact that will have on them later in life. Number 10, unity at Home is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give your children.

I learned that from my brother, Yusef Marshall, AKA. They call me Mr. Yu. We’ve done a lot of collaborations together, guys on his channel, and Yu is a friend of mine, and this is such a true statement. Number 11, from Andy Coyle, presence matters more than perfection. [00:06:00] That is straight out of the mouth of a man who’s got his hands full.

Uh, that episode is one of the only ones I’ve done live in my studio. Andy has four people out of the

six that live in his house are on the neurodivergent spectrum, all in different ways, and that is one of his biggest takeaways from being a father so far, is that presence matters more than perfection. 12, slow down and listen. Your kids are actually telling you what they need. Just as busy adults, a lot of times we’re really just not listening.

13, teach lessons in real life, not hypotheticals[00:07:00]

that. Was a huge takeaway. We were talking about teaching our kids about finances in that particular conversation, but, uh, the, the work he does, like actually showing them in real life with Excel sheets and banking and all this stuff, like it was just a mind-boggling to me what his kids were taking in.

14. Don’t pair on autopilot. Now, you may be saying that that’s a dub, right? Well, there are a lot of dads who this is creative ice for. In fact, it’s creative ice for all dads. But there are a lot of us who don’t realize we’re doing this. 15, be a safe place, not a scary place. If your kids are terrified to come to you, you’re going to fail as a parent.

And if you’re [00:08:00] feeling a little uncomfortable right now as I’m listing some of these off, that usually means that something’s hitting pretty close to home.

That’s okay. Like I said, on this podcast, we don’t pretend we’ve got it all down. We don’t pretend we’re perfect. We don’t pretend we have everything figured out, and if you don’t have everything figured out, that’s okay. This is the place for you. Let’s keep going. 16 kids spell love, TIME. 17. The best dads adjust.

Rigidity, breaks Connection. Oh, apologies. This is hard to record today. 18. Your words carry more power than you realize. So speak light when you’re talking to your kids.

If you were raised over a certain age, guys, if you’re over a certain [00:09:00] age, uh, gen Xers, early millennials, gen Xers, I should say Gen Y, but they count those out. We were raised not with the idea of things we said that were said to us coming back to bite us in the past or to cause problems later on in our lives.

We’re just taught to ignore it. You have to pay attention to the times. And the reality is things you say to your children today will impact them for the rest of their life. So speak life into your kids. My good buddy Oscar, shared that with us. Number 19, raise capable kids, not dependent ones. Your job is to make sure your kids never don’t actually need you, and it’s a heartbreaking job as a father, but your job is to raise.

Kids who don’t need you. Kids who are capable, not dependent. Ones 20. Teach discernment, not fear. [00:10:00] From our good buddy Nick Taylor over at the two Nicks one Cup podcast. Number 21, model. How to handle failure. This one’s really rich guys. David Holdman, share this with us. And this was such a. Super takeaway model, how to handle failure.

You wanna teach your kids, let them see you fail and get back up the way you should. 22 connection beats control. 23. Even in broken seasons, your presence still anchors your kids. You’re gonna have hard times. Gonna have difficulties. You’re gonna have ups and downs. You’re gonna have days when everything seems great and days where everything seems horrible.

[00:11:00] Even in your broken seasons, your kid, your presence still anchors your kids. You’re 24. Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s how kids learn strength. This is a really rough spot for some of his fathers. It is incredibly powerful. 25. The moments you rush past may be the ones your kids remember the most.

That one, that one still gets me. Guys, there are so many little things you do with your kids that you don’t give two seconds worth of thought to that. Might be the things they hold onto for the rest of their lives. We take little small gestures and moments for granted. Kevin was talking about taking five minutes to get on the ground and play [00:12:00] cars with his youngest son when he shared that thought.

Number 26, be intentional about how you show up as a.

You don’t have to be perfect, but be intentional about how you show up and who you are. 27. You don’t have to love what your kids love. Just love them while they love it.

That was a huge takeaway from that show. The ability to just. Love them while they’re loving something. You don’t have to had a long conversation. My daughter likes some anime that I don’t pay any attention to, but I spent hours one day just listening to her talk about it and marveling watching the joy on her face, and it was amazing.

28. Teach Responsibility by [00:13:00] modeling it live like an open book guys. Let them see what you do, who you are, how you act, how to act. Don’t try and tell ’em number 29, sometimes your kids are the ones teaching you.

Number 30, leadership starts at home.

31 think in generations, not just today. Understand. As a father, you’re not just parenting your child, you’re parenting your child. You’re parenting your child’s child, you’re parenting your child’s child’s child.

You have to realize the choices you make as a father leave a lasting impact.[00:14:00]

Number 32, showing up on your worst days. Still,

you’ll be amazed how much your children love you and don’t care about all the things you think are important. They just care about you. Finally, and I heard this, it’s just a repeated theme over and over and over again in every interview. Keep going. Don’t give up. Like I said, we’re, we’re all about the messy fatherhood life here.

No father is perfect. No perfect father has ever existed unless you’re a faith person of faith, and then there’s God, but no perfect human father has ever existed. How you show up for one child will be totally different than how you show up for the other child. Not because you’re a bad dad, but because they have different needs that they need from [00:15:00] you.

You’re going to be tired, going to be frustrated, you’re going to be worn out, and God bless you that you are putting the effort. So just keep going. It matters to your kids even if they, you don’t think you’re showing up perfect. They see it. They know you’re tired. They know you’ve had a long day and they know you’re choosing to keep going and keep showing up.

Guys, if there’s one thing these conversations have taught me is this great. Dads aren’t necessarily loud, they’re consistent, they’re present, they’re humble enough to make repair. You don’t need a new parenting hack. You don’t need more guilt. You just need permission to keep showing up imperfectly and intentionally.

And if you’re listening to this at the end of the year, wondering if you did enough? If you showed up one more day than you disappeared, you’re doing better than you [00:16:00] think. Thank you to every dad who sat in the chair last year. I’m looking forward to this year. We’re already well into the recording season for 20, 26.

Guys, we’re not going anywhere. Thank you to every listener who keeps this space honest. We’ll be back this next year with more real conversations, more laughter, probably more mistakes, more great dad jokes and silly hats. And until then, put the phone down. Go hug your kids and keep showing up. Thanks for joining us for this last episode of 2025 on the dad hat Shenanigans podcast, A community of dads navigating life challenges together.

Until next time, laugh, learn and live the dad life.