Chaz Wolfe: Why Treating Each Child Like a Business Changes Everything About Raising Adults

[00:00:00] Coming up on this episode of Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast.

Speaker: What I didn’t have in that identity at that time was that I build my children like literally block by block, step by step, piece by piece. I’ll tell you what gets me fired up is building my children because I know that what I’m doing there when he was three and what I do tomorrow when he’s seven will build.

The literal man that he’s gonna be the dad, he’s gonna be to my grandchildren. I’m building my grandchildren’s parents right now, every single moment. And so it’s like, oh wow, now that, that gets me excited. And my son, this is little guy, you know, he’s six and just literally living his best life. And um, and it was like.

I don’t know, just a euphoric moment of something that I created. One, I get the pleasure, the joy of taking the [00:01:00] responsibility of going, okay, who is this individual going to be? What is the best version of them look like? How did that little boy who didn’t have a dad, who had no nothing, how did that get here?

The best advice I could give to, uh, a dad is. Be better than what you were given. What do you think makes a great man? Again? 6-year-old answer he answered, mom, whoa. You just have to want to do better. You know, I learned a long time ago, Brent, that people do what they want to do. People do what they want to do.

D Brent Dowlen: Every dad has that story that just lights ’em up. Like when you sit around with other dads, that story you just like to tell about your kids. It makes you laugh even if nobody else gets it. What is your favorite dad story?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. And so, um, it’s, it’s got a couple components to it. [00:02:00] Um, my favorite dad story is a story that I tell about playing a game of Uno with my son, but it has nothing to do with the game of Uno, unfortunately.

It has everything to do with me as an entrepreneur being too focused on my businesses and missing the moments with my son at that moment. And so the story is actually me retelling it to other entrepreneurs, which I do often now, which is that I, I’m so obsessed with building. I love to build, I am a builder.

In fact, that is my identity. That’s how, that’s how God made me. I build things, I build businesses, I build teams. And what I. What I didn’t have in that identity at that time was that I build my children like literally block by block, step by step, piece by piece. And it was in this Uno that I kind of like clicked it all together.

It was like, it wasn’t about the game, it wasn’t even about the time because when I thought about going to work or building a [00:03:00] business or closing a deal, it got me like all fired up. Exactly what you were saying. Like, we’ll get you fired up. Well, business and closing a deal got me fired up. And when I thought about playing Uno with my kids, it was kinda like, okay, well I’ll do that.

I mean, that’s, that’s dad stuff, that’s fine. But it didn’t get me fired up. But I’ll tell you what gets me fired up is building my children because I know that what I’m doing there when he was three and what I do tomorrow when he’s seven will build the literal man that he’s gonna be the dad. He’s gonna be to my grandchildren.

I’m, I’m building my grandchildren’s parents right now. Every single moment. And so it’s like, oh wow, now that that gets me excited. So I don’t know if this specific situation is helpful, but it was an Uno game, but it had nothing to do with the Uno game.

D Brent Dowlen: Gentlemen, I sleep on my pillow. I sleep on my pillow Giza sheets, and when my MyPillow body pillows to hold my back in place, I have MyPillow [00:04:00] towels. My wife even wears MyPillow slippers. I would never recommend a company I don’t personally use. We’re proud to have Mike Lindell and MyPillow as the sponsors of our show.

You can go to mypillow.com, use promo code TFM super complicated. That’s my parent company, the Fallible Man Code tfm for up to 80% off your order, and free shipping on orders over $75. For our listeners, you’re working with a great American company that is employee owned and you’re helping keep the show on the air so we can make more episodes just like this one.

Let’s get back to it.

Welcome to the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast, the unfiltered Truth of Being a Dad. Real dads real stories, unfiltered, candid conversations on fatherhood. I’m your host, Brent Dowlen. My guest today is Serial entrepreneur, host of the Driven to Win broadcast. Dad, Chaz Wolfe. Chaz, welcome to the dad Hat Shenanigans podcast.

Chaz Wolfe: [00:05:00] Woo whoop. Definitely feeling the, the dad hat shenanigans over here with my hood on over here,

D Brent Dowlen: I’m liking it. It’s, it is a very unique look I, I haven’t had before, so

Chaz Wolfe: you haven’t had it. I knew that was the case, so I had to bring the heat, you know?

D Brent Dowlen: Right. It’s, it’s original. It’s very different. Mainly, I just like to stress everybody out about the hat thing, so

Chaz Wolfe: yeah,

D Brent Dowlen: it’s

Chaz Wolfe: perfect.

It’s perfect. I’m, I’m rocking it. And, and actually, uh, the memories that it brings are, are fantastic, so I’m excited to get into it.

D Brent Dowlen: Well, let’s, let’s go straight there to start for our listeners. ’cause you know, some people that watch on YouTube, but most of ’em listen. What are you wearing and what is the dad hat story?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, yeah. So I’m, I’m wearing a, uh, a bass hold on a bass dash fishing shirt, uh, with my company logo. GTK stands from Gathering the Kings. It actually says GTK for life. And it’s got a, a hood on it, right? It’s a fishing hat, you know, [00:06:00] protect you from the sun. And the story, Brent, is that earlier? Uh, actually I would say earlier this year, last year we just flipped over to a new year.

Um, last year I, we did our first, uh, GTK gathering the Kings. Um, we are, uh, a community for entrepreneur families. We help, uh, entrepreneurs build their businesses so that they run without ’em, so that their families never have to. It’s pretty cool. And so we did our first, um, father son trip. And so, uh, I took my son, he was six at the time.

Um, on this fishing trip. We went down to, just out right outside of Houston, I think it was. Um, we were on the golf hunting or, uh, fishing for, um, redfish and we got some black drum and kinds of fun stuff like that. But my son, um, I, I’m a, I’m a hunter and like land pursuant things, you know, the fishing thing has just never been my style.

Um, probably just because it just takes too much time and I’m not patient enough. Um, but this type of fishing was a little bit [00:07:00] more of like a hunt. Like you, you search for ’em, you find the school, you, you kind of go after ’em. You bring, you bring them in and it’s kind of a mad dash. You gotta, you gotta get as many as you can.

You sometimes you need to re replenish the, the shrimp that’s on the line and you go back at it and you’re kind of, you’re going at it. It’s just super active. It was, it was fun. So it fit my style of like desire of wanting to, to be active, but my son truly has had no fishing experience whatsoever other than random lakes that we happen upon.

But the dude, the dude will make a fishing line out of a stick and a string constantly because this is apparently what little boys do. I don’t know if I did it because I’m not big into fishing, but my son loves to fish even though he’s never really fished. And so I was so excited to take him on this trip and, and he just absolutely had a blast.

Um, we did some cool stuff with the fathers and sons had some really cool questions that the, that the dads asked the sons. I actually brought that sheet here today, so if you wanna go into some of those, it’s kind of fun. But I remember being on that boat fishing, these uh, black drum I think is what at the time.[00:08:00]

And my son, this, this little guy, you know, he is six and just literally living his best life. And, um, and it was like. I don’t know, just a euphoric moment of something that I created one. So I, I loved that part of it. Like, man, I, I intentionally built this environment for me and him to connect. But then also it was cool because there was other dads and other sons there, and they were connecting.

We were connecting and, but um, yeah, I don’t know. It’s just one of those things where I, I, I look to market, so I don’t know what we’ll do this year. Maybe it’ll be another fishing trip, but, um, I’m excited to spend time with him in that way continually as he gets older. And I don’t know if it’ll be a fishing trip with a interesting little hood or not, but, um, we’ll have more memories to come in the future for sure.

D Brent Dowlen: You know what, I’m, I’m glad I’m not the only father in the world who struggles with fishing.

Chaz Wolfe: It’s the worst, bro. Now I will tell you, you get me on a charter and we’re going after, it was, that was fun. That was super fun. But just in a fishing hole and

D Brent Dowlen: mm-hmm. [00:09:00] I, I live in, in central Washington, it’s, it’s, it’s high desert and, uh.

My, my oldest daughter years ago when we went on a fam, our first family vacation together when the girls were little, my brother and I, my brother lives to Colorado and we stopped at his place and him and I took the girls camping for the first time in their lives,

Chaz Wolfe: uh,

D Brent Dowlen: up the mountains of Colorado and he took them fishing.

And my brother is Mr. Outdoors.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: And so he took him fishing and I’m like, I can do it. I don’t want to do it. Right. He loves this stuff. Like, he’ll, he’ll backpack into the woods with just his backpack and his dog and be gone for four days.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Like, that’s his idea of a good time. Like, I’m like, yeah, no, I can survive.

I don’t want to go do that, but I could do it. You know, we, we grew up, we were very capable of doing these kind of things, but

Chaz Wolfe: yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: I still don’t wanna do it. Right. Yeah. But he, he got him fishing and my oldest daughter really took to it, so we’ve been fishing ever since. [00:10:00]

Chaz Wolfe: Okay.

D Brent Dowlen: I’m a horrible fisherman. I’m so bad at fishing.

I don’t like fishing, but I love hanging out with my daughter. Yeah. So like during, once it starts getting warmer in spring, we’ll start heading out to the lakes, like, you know, four o’clock in the morning or something. Uh, and be there for sunrise and, and be fishing. We’ll fish for a couple hours before we come home, but we rarely catch anything.

Like, I keep watching YouTube videos, trying to learn how to fish, and I’m like, I just, it’s man, gimme a spear gun. It’s

Chaz Wolfe: just the time. Just chalk it up to the time of building your daughter.

D Brent Dowlen: Gimme, gimme some fins and a mask. Gimme a spear gun and I’ll do, I’m, I’m down. But

Chaz Wolfe: there you go.

D Brent Dowlen: This whole tossing in off the lakeside.

I need to buy me a boat so I can go out on the lake. I think that that would help. That’s right. Help that.

Chaz Wolfe: That’s right. Yeah. You gotta get into a pursuit. Gotta get into a hunt.

D Brent Dowlen: I’m, I’m glad I’m not the only dad who doesn’t dig the whole fishing thing. It’s

Chaz Wolfe: Yes.

D Brent Dowlen: Right. I, I know so many slow fishermen are like, fishing’s amazing.

I’m like, Uhhuh. Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. Yep. [00:11:00]

D Brent Dowlen: Chaz, how many kids do you have, boys, girls? What’s the spread?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, we got four kids. Um, my daughters are 12, nine and three. My son is six.

D Brent Dowlen: Okay, so you got a good group there.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: And you, you told us a little bit about your company. Who are you, what do you do? Give us a little more backstory before we start down the rabbit hole.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. Uh, I own several businesses, um, but, but my heart and soul is in, uh, gathering the kings. Um, and we get to work with entrepreneurs to help them build their business in a way that, uh, gives them freedom and ultimately for family driven entrepreneurs. Ones that, you know, not every entrepreneur actually wants to spend more time with their family.

I’ve learned not every dad wants to spend more time with their family, uh, or kids, but the ones that are attracted to us are, uh, they own a business, but their business owns them. And so we kind of help reverse that so that they can, they can spend time with their family and build a legacy.

D Brent Dowlen: I love that.

I’m gonna have to [00:12:00] call my friend after we, uh, wrap up this interview. I’ve, I’ve got a good buddy of mine that I love him to death, and he’s got, you know, multiple girls and I adore them. And he owns a trucking company, but like, truck company

Chaz Wolfe: owns him.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh yeah. For the life of him. He just cannot. Yeah. Um, he, he’s even tried, like, I turned him onto, uh, what’s his name?

Dan something. He’s all over YouTube. Uh oh

Chaz Wolfe: yeah. Martel.

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah, Dan Martel. I, I actually like, sold him. I was like, you need to try this book. ’cause I, I tried Dan Martel’s books, like, this is actually really great.

Chaz Wolfe: Yes.

D Brent Dowlen: Uh, and I was like, bro, you, like, I called him. I was on the car listening to it on audiobook.

I’m like, you need to pick up this book right now. ’cause this is, this is your problem right here. And he is still struggling just to find the right people who can, he’s tried a couple times to hire people. He keeps struggling to find the right people. But he’s so active in his kids’ lives and he wants to be, he wants his company, but he wants to be out from under [00:13:00] it.

So I, I may have to make some connections after this. Yeah,

Chaz Wolfe: yeah, yeah. That’d be cool.

D Brent Dowlen: I love what you’re doing. ’cause I think there are so many people who own small businesses that are owned by their business.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Uh,

Chaz Wolfe: yeah. It’s unfortunate. It’s an unfortunate reality, but, um, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Um, I used to think that it did have to be that way, you know? Well, I mean, just as dads like, forget the business, right? Like mm-hmm. As dads we’re, you know, protector, provider, you know, especially if we didn’t come from much, you know, uh, we subconsciously our, um, prioritizing financial security, um, we have a, you know, a wife or a, a girlfriend and, and then eventually kids, and it’s like, they’re my responsibility.

I mean, this is nature. Mm-hmm. This is, this is how I’m designed. Okay, cool. So I’m gonna go do that thing. Um, and it’s funny too, because most men, but especially entrepreneurs, we, we say that we’re building it. For them, but like, they don’t get any part of us. [00:14:00] Like, I have to leave you. The people that I say I love the most to do the thing that I say is gonna gimme freedom to come back to you.

You know? So it’s just a little bit of a conundrum. And the the truth is that they can have both. You can, you can still be really busy. ’cause there’s different seasons in business. There’s different seasons in, in your job. Like even if you were working in corporate America, like, there’s different seasons where sometimes you gotta put a little bit more time in, a little bit more effort, a little bit more focus.

There’s a a hundred percent reality to that. But even in those seasons, there is a way to be intentional with your spouse and with your kids, um, to where it doesn’t, the blow isn’t hard, you know? Or there’s no blow at all. There’s, in fact, they just, they still see you. They, they, they still interact with you even though it’s these little bits.

It, the intentional piece of it makes it so powerful. Um. Uh, and you’re actually the only one that, that knows that you’re spending 12 hours a day over here ’cause the other ones are just so intentional.

D Brent Dowlen: What’s been your [00:15:00] favorite part about being a dad so far?

Chaz Wolfe: Ooh, favorite part. Um, I would say that it’s the, you know, like I’ve built a lot of teams. Um, I understand, you know, leadership and a little bit of psychology and, and like, you know, moving people into things or action or whatnot. And I’ll tell you what, being a dad is up there, uh, with what it takes to, to be a good leader and, and to actually get results.

That sounds a little transactional, but, but to get your kids, your kids, you know, to be high performers, let’s just say, you know, to just use entrepreneurship language or, or work language, you know, really what I’m trying to do is get each one of them in their own unique way to, to be the best versions of themselves, to be who God created them to be.

Guess what? They’re all different. Well, fantastic. Now I have to have what, four playbooks, you know, there is no playbook to dad, dad ship or fatherhood. [00:16:00] So, so there is no playbook. And now I’m in the process of creating four different ones. ’cause they’re all so unique and different. Wow. That sounds challenging.

Guess what it is.

D Brent Dowlen: And that’s your favorite thing about being a dad.

Chaz Wolfe: It is the challenge. The, the part where it literally takes me going, okay, who is this child? Who is jc and how do I need to deliver this information? What are her talents? What, what does God have for her? Okay. Who is Milo and, and what are her talents and what, what does she need to grow in?

Or, you know, who is Tatum? Right? And, and that to me is the game. Right. Um, and so yeah, that’s what I love most about it is, is. Is the, I guess what’s hard, I guess. Don’t call me out like that, Brent. No.

D Brent Dowlen: Well, you know, it’s, it’s funny because it’s a different kind of mindset, right? Yeah. Uh, and, and that explains [00:17:00] a lot of the fact that you’re an entrepreneur.

Sure. Because you have to have a mindset that lets you look at challenge as an opportunity.

Chaz Wolfe: Oh, for sure.

D Brent Dowlen: And a positive thing.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: To, to look at it that way.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. I, I guess I see it like this, Brent, if, if, if I don’t take ownership of who they become, or at least during these years, right? Because I can’t, at some point that ownership has to pass to them, right?

Mm-hmm. They have to take ownership for themselves, for their own decisions. But right now, if I, as dad, don’t take that ownership, the best possibility is that my wife takes it. I don’t think that that’s her responsibility. And so I get the pleasure, the joy of taking the responsibility of going, okay, who is this individual going to be?

What is the best version of them look like? And let’s start building towards [00:18:00] that. Um, and, and at some point, like I said, that gets handed off to just them, you know, with my 12 and 9-year-old, it’s, it’s, we’re, we’re beginning the pieces of I get to do some things and then we get to do some things together.

And probably in a few years it’ll be, I get to do some things. We do a lot together, and you get to do some things on your own. And maybe that’s, some of that’s how it’s with my, my, my 12-year-old now actually. But then it just becomes more on their own. Some with me, less with me alone. And then eventually, you know, they’re, their own adults have their own families that the information or they, the things that they need just for me is much, much smaller, but probably much, much, much more impactful.

So I, I only get, you know, one or two hard questions a, a, a month or a quarter. Um, but that’s like the moments I get to show up, right? Because then the other times we’re either doing stuff together or they’re off doing their own thing with their own family, and that’s like how it’s supposed to be. But I get the ownership now to help that happen then.

D Brent Dowlen: I love it. When you [00:19:00] were gonna first becoming a dad, do you remember, did somebody actually give you any good advice? Because I know you got a ton of advice and most of it was probably crap. Was there anything that was actually a really good piece of advice that’s helped you? Oh,

Chaz Wolfe: uh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna tell you a story short and then it, because it’s gonna, it’s gonna break the question.

Um. I was just on our family mastermind. We do a, we do an event in the summer for entrepreneur families, um, entrepreneurs, spouses, kids, everybody comes. It’s a vacation slash growth opportunity. We bring in speakers, we teach the kids how to launch their own business, like all kinds of fun stuff. So I’m at that event last year and I had this guy we’re going back and forth on our stories.

Like, he was just super curious. I’m asking about him, his childhood. He came from another country. His parents like, uh, came out of some sort of like, um, like a, a, a revolution in their country and like barely came out alive and like, you know, came to New Jersey and like started this new life in America and [00:20:00] was kind of hearing his story, right?

And then I, I, I tell him about my story and, you know, single mom, family and, you know, and he’s like, Chaz, I hear the story, but like it doesn’t line up with the fruit that I see. I see this man in front of me who clearly loves his family. He’s built this entire organization that helps families. You’ve, you’ve told me we’ve, we’ve had other conversations around fatherhood and, and, and being a good husband and, and entrepreneurship and like, I don’t understand how did, how did that little boy who didn’t have a dad, who had no nothing, how did that get here?

And I was like, well, other than some books that I’ve read, which I, I do recommend a few good books. I, I just feel like the Lord has said, I’ve, I’m with you. You know, he’s, he’s been my dad, I guess. And I don’t know how [00:21:00] else to explain it. So to answer your question, no, I’ve actually never really been given fatherhood advice.

Um, I have sought mentorship for probably my whole life. And it doesn’t mean that I’ve never seen it, but I’ve, I, I’ve usually found it in a book. Or in some far off mentor right. That I’m like following from a distance. Like you said, you know, the, the book that you, uh, listen, probably buy back Your Time by

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah.

Chaz Wolfe: Pam Martell. So like a far off mentor like that. I’ve got a lot of mentors, a lot of advice given to me like that, but never across the table. And so how, how did that happen? Well, it’s like, well, I’ve just been trying to produce what I didn’t have, I guess, you know, so what’s the best advice I could give to, uh, a dad is be better than what you were given.

Um, be better than, than what you think you should be. You know, like, be, be 1% better tomorrow than you were today. Like, just be better, be focused and obsessed with being better. Um, and that [00:22:00] doesn’t look like giving our kids everything. It doesn’t look like being Mr. Nice guy. Um, it doesn’t look like making them into, you know, pro athletes.

Um, I think it just, you know, requires you to sit down. Um, value or, uh, uh, um, evaluate your values. What is it that’s important to you? What’s important to your family? What does that later picture look like? We just got done talking about and then going, okay, how do I do that better today? And that’s where the intentionality comes in.

If you, if you can’t see a bigger picture or further down the road, and then reverse engineer it into steps and then decide what am I gonna do today to, to get closer to that, then you’re just winging your life. Um, you’re just drifting as Napoleon Hill says, and that’s not gonna be a good deal. So, good advice.

Be intentional, be present, be better today than you were yesterday.

D Brent Dowlen: I’m just always curious because I found that like everybody and their dog has an [00:23:00] opinion when they find out you’re gonna have a kid. Right. And, and the majority of the advice is crap. I’ve, I’ve talked to so many dads for sure. The majority of advice people give.

Expectant fathers is, is absolute garbage. It’s,

Chaz Wolfe: yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Completely useless. So I’m always curious, pick people’s brains, like, you know, I ask about what your advice is because I generally think we give some pretty decent advice on the show, not me per se, but the dads I bring on, uh, because it comes from their heart, from their lived experience.

But the lack of like po useful positive advice that seems to flow from people just in, in your physical orbit.

Chaz Wolfe: Oh yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: It’s like, I, I don’t understand. It’s been around fatherhood is existence since the beginning and like still we have no idea how to help each other half the time. Uh, so I’m always looking for that.

Did you actually get something useful or just, just kind of, [00:24:00] I, I listened to about, you know, I listened to it all and I threw out like 97% of it. Uh, listened to a, a couple dads that were really close that I had a lot of respect for, but other than that, like mostly I just tossed to the side. I’m like, yeah, thanks, gee.

Yeah. Glad I didn’t ask for that. But, you know,

Chaz Wolfe: yeah, I, I think I may have, um, developed a, uh, either a callous or a, a bent ear, you know? ’cause when I hear really anyone’s opinion A, that I didn’t ask for, or B of people who I don’t want what they have, I just don’t listen. I don’t care. You can tell me all day long.

And so I’ve probably blocked all that bad advice.

D Brent Dowlen: You know what, that’s good advice right there.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. Block it out. You know, my wife jokes all the time, she’s like, I think you actually really don’t care what anybody thinks. And that’s just so intriguing to me because I don’t know how you do that. Like, well, I.

Other than that’s what, that’s what [00:25:00] success principles, you know, tell you to do, is just really, again, figure out what you want and, and then do the things that get you there. Don’t, don’t listen to advice or don’t do things that don’t, you know, like, okay, so I just cut out the things that don’t matter, you know?

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah. It’s, uh, it’s something that I think more people would benefit from developing. It’s just the ability to be like, don’t care.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: People will throw things at me all the time, or my daughter will ask me, well, so and so said this. I’m like, I I don’t care.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. Yep.

D Brent Dowlen: She’s like, but, but I was like, no, really?

I, I just don’t care.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. My 6-year-old, we were going through his pants two days ago. Um, ’cause he was basically telling me that he needed new pants. He’s grown quite a bit. I’m like, okay, let’s pull out all the pants. Let’s try mine. Let’s see which ones fits, which one don’t. Um, and he, I pulled up some, I’m like, try these on.

He’s like, no, no, no. I can’t wear those. I’m like, well, it, it says it’s the right size, buddy. I gotta at least see em on you. He’s like the, the, the neighbor boy, uh, says, I look silly in. I’m like, uh, okay, [00:26:00] so when did we start caring about what neighbor boy thinks? Mm-hmm. Like, what does that matter? Uh, in fact, I, these are my favorite.

So then I go the opposite end where it’s like, you know, uh, trying to build him up and, and make sure that he understands that they’re just pants and it’s no big deal. And, but it’s, it starts from a extremely young age where we care about what other people think. And as dads, I think that you’re right. Um, everybody’s gonna have an opinion.

And, uh, even though I think I’ve sought out good mentorship, to your point, I think that all the bad mentorship has just fallen on deaf ears because everybody does give it. You’re right.

D Brent Dowlen: I heard someone call, give it an, an interesting name the other day they called it like the five year theory or something, and it’s the majority of the people in your orbit will not be there in five years.

So why would you listen to, or change or care about their perspective, or their opinion, or their idea? Why would you let that impact you? When like 96% of them will not be there in [00:27:00] five years.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. Yeah. It’s so true. So at the end, the, at the end, who’s gonna be there and that’s what matters. That’s it.

D Brent Dowlen: So, Chaz, we, we’ve had, I’m, I’m enjoying the conversation thus far, but what would you like to dive into today about being a father and for dads?

Chaz Wolfe: You know, I can go a hundred different directions. We’ve, we’ve had some pretty interesting conversations. Um, I did, like I told you, I, I brought this, um, list of questions that I gave to the other dads on, on our father son trip.

D Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe: Uh, happy to go into some of those and, or even some of the answers that my 6-year-old son gave.

They’re, they’re pretty funny. Um, but I think just the, the, again, intentionality of, I mean, ’cause they don’t need me, give them 10 questions to ask their, your daughter or their son. Right. You can use, you can just go chacha boutique 10 intriguing questions to ask my. The point is, is that, are you thinking in a way as a dad to even muster up [00:28:00] that type of intentionality?

Do I actually care what my kids think about me? Am I interested in them? Am I curious enough to hear their opinions? And so, uh, if you wanna go that direction, uh, we can, or if there’s another different direction that you wanna go, I’m down.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh, no, that’s the, that’s the joy of my platform. This is your show, man.

We’re gonna go wherever you wanna, this is how I ensure that every show is different is I have my foundational questions for continuity. Sure. I really am actually passionate about talking about ever you are passionate about talking to fatherhood.

Chaz Wolfe: I love it. Love

D Brent Dowlen: it. Because then I get to serve more people because it’s not just my idea all the time.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, for sure. For sure. Um, alright, well lemme start with a couple of these questions. A couple of the fun ones were, uh, what’s one thing you’ve been thinking a lot about lately?

D Brent Dowlen: And these are questions to ask your children.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. These are, these are questions to ask your children. And so I asked my son, and I’ll read you his answer.

We were on the father son fishing trip that I mentioned earlier, [00:29:00] and he said he’s been, he’s been thinking a lot about fishing and that he wants to go again naturally. Makes sense. Um, I asked what makes you feel the most confident as a young man? Of course, you could insert young woman and he said when he wins something, which is, uh, funny because just right after this trip we started, uh, he’d never really played sports or had an opportunity to win something like a trophy or a tournament or a game, or he had played some, you know, rec stuff, but no real games or anything like that.

So I thought that was really interesting, um, that he was motivated by winning. I don’t know if that’s just because he is got testicles or, or, uh, or, or if I, I don’t know. I don’t know where he’s gotten that so far. Maybe that’s just the environment of our home maybe. But right after that he, he started, um, riding his bike in BMX, like BMX racing.

Actually, my two older daughters and him. And then eventually my, my youngest, my 3-year-old, uh, does it as well now too. But, um, [00:30:00] he, this year, uh, with NBMX went from starting novice, um, went all the way to intermediate and, uh, got invited to a invite only national race at the end of the year. And, uh, you know, you gotta be in the top 10 in your age bracket, um, to, to even get invited.

And so then the, you know, then you make, then you go through the semis, you gotta get to the finals. And so of, of the, of everybody that was there in his age group, he got second out of all these people from all across the country.

D Brent Dowlen: Wow.

Chaz Wolfe: And I just thought that was just the coolest thing, especially now reading this going.

What makes you feel the most confident is when he wins something. Now again, he had never really won anything really before that, and so that’s so interesting that he would, uh, have answered like that. Um, next one down a little bit deeper says, what’s something you wish I understood better about you? And he, a 6-year-old, uh, answers that he can buy Gump packs and mint [00:31:00] mints on his own.

Okay, buddy. You can buy gum and mints on your own. Got it. Of course, that question, uh, with, with some older kids would probably get a pretty cool answer, I think, although I think that was pretty cool too. Um, this one’s super interesting. I said, what do you think makes a great man again, 6-year-old answer.

He answered, mom. Whoa.

D Brent Dowlen: That’s some, that’s some deep insight right there.

Chaz Wolfe: Whoa.

D Brent Dowlen: That is,

Chaz Wolfe: I mean, again, I mentioned success principles here. Some books, think and Grow Rich is by far the book on success. It’s over a hundred years old. If you’re listening right now and you haven’t read the book, you absolutely should.

But it talks about the power behind every successful individual, specifically related to, uh, uh, A successful man is a woman who has all the power in the world and, uh, if she knows how to use it, um, can destroy [00:32:00] or build that man. So I think his answer is spot on. How he knows that. I have no clue.

D Brent Dowlen: Jas, let me, let me ask you a question.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: What inspired doing this with your kids?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. Well, I mean, coming from the trip specifically, you know, me hosting a, you know, father son, uh, fishing trip. I wanted there to be some intentional time with the dads, not just out having fun. You know, we had a pool at the Airbnb. We had, you know, the fishing, there was dinners and all the hangouts.

I wanted individual time, you know, with their sons, um, to ask some questions, uh, some to be light and friendly and fun and just be together. But some to like try to get some really, really, you know, cool answers. Things that they could take and go, okay, how do I, how do I move forward with this? What do I do next with this information?

Um, and again, that kind of just goes back to what I was talking about earlier as far as being intentional. I think that, um, dads a lot of times, [00:33:00] um, are like entrepreneurs. And if you’re an entrepreneur, a dad, really good luck because then it feels like we’re just running around with a hair on fire all the time.

Right. Especially if you’re both, but even if you’re not an entrepreneur and you’re just a dad listening to the show, like sometimes it feels like, you know, an overwhelming amount of pressure and you got your job and you got the finances. There’s kids activities and, and oh, by the way, your wife wants you to help with X, Y, and Z or, or whatever.

And it doesn’t feel like it’s easy ’cause it’s not right. And so what’s really, really not easy in that moment is to go like big, deep breath and, and think for just a few seconds, how can I improve as a dad? Or how can I improve as a husband? Or how can I improve at my job? Or, you know, slowing down to speed up.

And that’s what intentional means, is like to think about where I want to go and then script the next steps to help me get there. And so I think questions like this are incredible because it gives us insight, you [00:34:00] know, to even our kids, they have, they have incredible things going on in their brains that oftentimes we just write off as, oh, that’s just kids.

You know? Like, how did he know what makes a great man? And he says, mom, like, what? What? How does he know that? No, and I didn’t, I didn’t try to expand on that and try to teach him a lesson and, you know, like, oh, you’re so right buddy. And thinking we’re, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just was like, that’s such a cool answer.

Why’d you say that? And really all I came up with was, I love mom. You know, like, it, it was no deeper than that, but like somewhere in there, his subconscious, hopefully trained by me, but at least picked up something that behind every great man is an incredible woman. And I don’t know, just insights like this make fatherhood more exciting too.

You know,

D Brent Dowlen: I’m not sure I would’ve thought about asking my daughters at six, some of these questions. I, I think we underestimate what we can learn from our [00:35:00] kids at that age sometimes.

Chaz Wolfe: Oh yeah. Or even just to create the memory of him saying something funny, you know? Um, I was trying to think of, um, yeah, I.

Like we’ve done the, like, okay, so for, for dad’s birth, you know, my, my wife will get the kids together and they’ll go, okay, so what’s dad’s favorite? You know, food. What’s his hair color? What’s his eye color? How tall is he? How old is he? You know, especially when they’re real, real little. And the answers are like, you know, how old is he?

You know, 175, how tall is he? You know, 22 feet, you know, or whatever their answers are, you know, what’s his favorite food? Um, you know, whatever their favorite food is, pizza or, you know, whatever. And what that has done is it just creates fun memories. And so if you’ve got six year olds or three year olds or whatever, um, being intentional about just conversating with them, being curious about what’s [00:36:00] in their brain really is more than, than the actual result.

Sometimes the result’s just funny. Um, but as they get older, man, especially if you’ve developed a rhythm of being curious, most humans. Are terrible at being curious. Most humans don’t ask good questions. Most people don’t actually care about the other person. They’re just out for themselves, which is fine.

Like that’s nature, right? We’re, we’re, we gotta take care of ourselves, we gotta take care of our family. We’re not really interested in Brent. Brent’s not really interested in Chaz. Okay? That’s not a hundred percent true. And in given moments, we can show that it’s not a hundred percent true by curiosity, right?

And so again, applying all this to fatherhood and going, okay, well how can I be curious about my 6-year-old, 9-year-old, 12-year-old? It’s, it’s gotta be more than how is school? ’cause then they’re gonna be like, good. And, and then that’s it. Like, that’s it. That’s all you’ve got Dad. Surely not, right? But my challenge to dad [00:37:00] listening right now is like, that’s probably the level of questions that you ask all people in your life.

You probably aren’t very curious at all. And so now I’m talking about being intentional and curious with your children and you’re like, uh, how do I do that? Which is fine, no big deal. At least be aware of the fact that you suck at it and that’s okay. Go to chat BT or go to Google and say, what are 10 questions I can ask my kids?

Or how do I be more curious with my kids? Or you know, like it’s not that hard to actually wanna do better. You just have to want to do better. You know, I learned a long time ago, Brent, that people do what they want to do. People do what they want to do. And I’m trying to teach my kids that too. You know, I just had a deep conversation with my 12-year-old just three nights ago about some, you know, good behavior and then some not so good behavior.

And it’s like, look, people do what they want to do. She kinda looked at me like, I know. Think about that for a second. Not what you say you wanna do. Now what you say is important. What you [00:38:00] do tells me what you think is important. How you act, what your behavior is, how you respond, right? So if you wanna get to know your kids, if you wanna be a better dad.

Do do some of these things. And so I think you, you know, are making the point more of a like, how would I have known to do it on a 6-year-old? Yeah, totally get it. Um, but unfortunately there’s a lot of dads out there, which, you know, they could probably be better even with their adult kids. Let’s be honest.

I

D Brent Dowlen: think it’s funny ’cause we just wrapped up a part of the year that actually helps answer this, this, this, this is reveal really revealing for us as dads, right? We just got through the whole holiday season, right? Thank gosh. I hate the Christmas rush. Right? But here, here’s the question that sumps most dads right?

Do you know your child well enough to know what to actually get them? Like what will absolutely light them up, right? Or does your [00:39:00] wife buy all the presents or you know, do you just guess at what you think they right? Do you actually know your children well enough to know what you get them for Christmas Will.

Like just light up their world. Yeah. Because it’s not always the most expensive thing. It’s not always the fancy thing. Right. You have to know your kid. Some kids, they want this little thing, it doesn’t cost much, but to them is huge. And you can get that for one kid where this other kid wants, you know, they want the expensive thing.

Right. Because that’s what they’re into right now. Um, but just wrapping that up with my daughters, it was really funny ’cause my wife and I were looking at it and my younger daughter’s in this phase where she’s in between formulating her own identity.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: She’s really wanting to mimic the older one who’s really kind of my 14-year-old is, you know, always been old for her age.

She’s 14 going on 30. Uh, she some [00:40:00] very definitive ideas about who she is and direction she’s going. She wants to be a tattoo artist when she grows up, you know, and I’m totally cool with that. So we buy her like tattoo markers. ’cause I was like, okay, stop drawing on yourself with regular pins. Yes. That’s actually poisonous.

So, we’ll, we’ll buy you pins where you can draw on yourself. Okay. So my daughter’s got drawings all over her arms. Half the time, half time we’ll be sitting watching something. She’s drawing on me.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: I’m walking around with all this art on my arms is not permanent.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Hopefully most of the time.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: But the youngest one is kind of in this, I like to do some of this. I like to do some of this, but she hasn’t like, actually found her lane. So Christmas was a little rougher. It’s like, why didn’t we really get her? ’cause she likes a little bit of this and a little bit of that. But she likes to mimic a lot of things her sister does.

But you know, you, you start having to deal with that with holidays and, and with Christmas and birthdays, it’s like, do you really know what’s gonna light your kid up? [00:41:00] How, how, how well is that processing? ’cause that’s one of those moments where you’re actually forced to deal with it. Honestly, as a dad, you’re like.

I don’t know what my kid wants to wear. I don’t know what they like to do.

Chaz Wolfe: Yep. Yeah. And that shows later, right? Like now it shows with, it’s a joke that mom buys everything. Everybody knows that mom buys everything and dad’s just kind of there, but he bought it, so we kind of give him a pass and check, check and he did his part.

And, but that’s where it shows now, but later in life, it shows when dad doesn’t know or, or care to ask anything else either, you know? Um, and so I think it’s, I think it’s a, i it’s a habit, you know, curiosity is a habit, but it’s built on an identity of do I want to know more? Do I actually care? Um, because, you know, different people show [00:42:00] care different ways.

Right. Some I, I care, so I’m gonna provide, okay, fine. Good. I like that. But it’s Dad is more than that. Dad’s not just bang. Right. Or work. Um, I guess it doesn’t have to be, you don’t have to be more than that, but I think people listening to this show wanna be more than that, so. Great. How do you be more than that?

Well, get curious, be intentional, figure out like what, what do we get ’em for Christmas? We’re a little different. We, we do Christmas a little different, but, um, what that means for us is that we do those intentional gifts throughout the year. So like, the fishing trip was on purpose. I could, we could have done anything the father son trip could have.

I, I, I’m the organizer of the whole business. We could have gone anywhere, could have done anything. But I specifically made it a fishing trip because guess what? My son wanted to go fishing. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You know, like, this is exactly what you were just talking about. So I think it’s spot on. It’s, it’s in being intentional.

D Brent Dowlen: Let’s go. What are some of the other [00:43:00] questions you put down?

Chaz Wolfe: Oh, let’s see here. What’s something hard that you’ve faced this year? And, uh, you know, again, probably get some different answers with my 12-year-old daughter on that one. But my 6-year-old son at that point was the hardest thing was, uh, reeling in the fish.

Uh, what’s a dream you have for your future? And he said to go hunting and pooling, which meant swimming in the pool. Yeah, I had to ask some clarification on that. Um, I asked, how can I be a better dad to you? Uh, he said, go hunting with him. And at six, what that really means is that we put our gear on, we go outside, we sit in some random spot on our property, um, and we hunt with, for the listeners, the, the air quotes.

We hunt. We wait for something to come by that probably never does. That’s [00:44:00] okay. Um, ’cause here in a few years when he can hunt, we’ll get up in the tree stand and you know, do the thing. Um, but that, it doesn’t matter. He was just, the hunting to him is whatever it is that we’ve deemed it, you know? Um,

D Brent Dowlen: have you, have you asked your older daughters that question?

Chaz Wolfe: It’s a good question. I haven’t, as I was going through this, that’s what I’m saying, like, hmm, I should ask these questions. Um, I did this at this event and then, uh, you know, I’ve asked some other, like, um, uh, how do you feel closest to me type questions. Um, and usually the answers that we get there are like, um, you know, when we’re doing x, y, Z together, you know, which I still think is a great question.

’cause it gives you insight to what they like doing with your presence.

D Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe: Um, so I think it’s still pretty powerful. Um, the last question I asked was, what do you love about being my son? And he said that I play [00:45:00] with him and read stories. And so the, the read stories part was like, oh, that’s interesting.

I mean, yeah, I do that, but like, I didn’t know really that that was really important to you. And so that was one of the things I took away from that was like, okay. The same, uh, a similar question actually earlier on the sheet. Uh, when do you feel closest to me? That’s the one I just mentioned. Um, I’ve asked that one.

You know, my daughters, but, uh, and it’s usually like, you know, when we’re doing homework together or doing something together that, that they get my help or that we’re close. But, um, his answer to that was when we, when we’re reading together and so I was, you know, caught off guard a little bit going like, oh wow, that’s like out of all the things, like that’s, huh.

I don’t know if I would’ve guessed that. And so take note, let’s do some more reading together, you know, because I can also think about times where he’s like, dad, you read me a story and I’m like. Hold on buddy. Or I gotta go to work or, you know, um, in fact, it’s happened a couple times since [00:46:00] then where him, or even my younger daughter who’s only three, you know, I’m like literally about to walk out the door and, daddy, will you read this book to me?

And ’cause of this question, because of this moment, I’ll go, of course I will, knowing that I’m gonna be late. I sit down, I read the story. Um, you know, it was a couple years ago that, um, my son was probably, he’s, he’s six now, almost seven. Um, he was probably three, maybe something like that. Four. We were outside doing something and I thought to myself, he’s not even gonna remember this.

Like his subconscious is full fact, full, full blown right now. Like no actual memory being creed. Interesting. And then it was like boom, smack across the face. This memory isn’t for him, it’s for you talking about me. I’m like. Oh, got it, got it. Gotta lock this one in. Right. So that’s, that’s with the 3-year-old, especially [00:47:00] with my daughter, my 3-year-old who just like three days ago came up right before I’m about to leave.

Daddy, will you read the story? And I’m like, of course I’ll, because she won’t remember that moment ever. But I will, I will, I’ll remember and I’ll try to hold onto those. You know,

D Brent Dowlen: she will actually remember that you were there when she asked you to be far more than people realize. I’m,

Chaz Wolfe: you’re right, because we’re training their nervous system at that point.

Um, and you’re a hundred percent right. She will know that when, when she needed me, I was there. Exactly. Right.

D Brent Dowlen: Regular listeners on the show will know I’m a huge proponent for reading the kids. Like I, I actually have a children’s podcast and that’s all we do is read stories to Kids. Wow.

Chaz Wolfe: Love

it.

D Brent Dowlen: Um, pro tip for most dad listening.

Honest to God, your children, you’ll create some of the deepest memories they’ll ever have. Just spending time reading with them. I [00:48:00] still read with my kids, we’ve just upgraded it from reading storybooks like I read at my children’s program to now we sit around in the evenings and read Harry Potter as a family and take turns reading.

Right?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Right. So it’s not just me reading to them. Now we’re passing the book around ’cause they’re 11 and 14 and we’re all sitting down as a family. So my wife is there, my mom lives with us. She’s there. We’re passing the book reading as a family, but we’re reading out loud together.

Chaz Wolfe: That’s cool

D Brent Dowlen: because

Chaz Wolfe: flashback to 150 years ago.

That’s

D Brent Dowlen: right. Your kids will, reading to your kids when they’re little imprint so deeply, they will actually have a memory of that when they get older, even when it doesn’t seem like they should, they’ll remember that you stopped and prioritized them and that’s why they like that.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.

Couldn’t agree more. That’s good stuff.

D Brent Dowlen: I don’t know that all dads are brave enough at this point [00:49:00] to ask their kids that question. I, and I’ve heard other people once or twice mention this idea of asking, how can I be a better dad? What is what, what do you think I do well as a dad? Right. Actually letting your kids critique your fathering skills.

Chaz Wolfe: Yes.

D Brent Dowlen: Right. That’s why I asked you, it asked your older daughters, it’s like, ooh, 6-year-old, eh, you’re still at that superman range. As they move that preteen range, you, they’re starting to see a few of the flaws.

Chaz Wolfe: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Uh, I’m not sure I’m ready to ask my 14-year-old that.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. Well I think, I think that, um, well, I mean, first off, I’ll, I’ll do it if you do it.

Um, and I think that the second that we become open to, well, first off, we have to be able to create an environment where they would even answer the question. Right? Would they even be truthful, is the better question, dad? [00:50:00] Um, assuming that they would be truthful, what would they say and how, what would you do with it?

You know, um, I, I, I could think of a couple things, you know, I could think of, you know, um, yeah, I mean, we’re pretty, we’re pretty intentional, but I think that, you know, the time that we spend

trying to recreate hard is probably a good way to say it. You know, so, like, I grew up single mom, family, um, we didn’t have much, um, my kids live in a, you know, almost 5,000 square foot house. Um. Beau, they don’t have, they don’t need for anything. Um, they have a dad that like really cares and loves them and is the complete opposite of my scenario.

And they’re, my two oldest daughters just bought their first business at nine and 12. Um, so like,[00:51:00]

what, what is it that is hard for them except for what I try to purposefully create so that life isn’t that easy. I don’t need them to redo the things or have the struggles that I’ve already overcome, but I do have to fabricate and create situations for hard, um, because life is hard. And even though they’ve got a bunch of cool stuff that I didn’t, um, if I’m not intentional about making things challenging or allowing them to press on their muscles a little bit, even their mental muscles.

Um, and so I can, I can think of some situations in there where they, you know, either maybe they don’t like it or maybe they do. I’m, I’m curious to hear their answers.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh, this, this, I’m, I’m laughing internally ’cause this conversation is so right along, uh, uh, podcast episode I’m about to record for my other show. [00:52:00] Uh, like it’s just so funny that this correlated, like I’m recording it right after this one. Uh, so you’re just making my other podcast even better too. You just didn’t even know it.

Chaz Wolfe: That’s awesome.

D Brent Dowlen: I love the idea of making sure you’re more curious about your kids and approaching them with curiosity. And I think you’re right. I think as people were really, really bad about being curious outside of our own agenda, right? I think a lot of times we stop being curious about our spouse and that’s why marriage is deteriorate, right?

I love this idea of approaching your children with a curiosity as they become those little people. You said, you know, you’re raising your grandkids.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, my grandkids parents,

D Brent Dowlen: right. So, yeah. But essentially that means you’re raising your grandkids. And so

Chaz Wolfe: yeah,

D Brent Dowlen: the, the approach of being curious about [00:53:00] what’s going on in your kids’ head, what they’re thinking about, what they’re into, what’s, ’cause it tells you so much about what’s really impressing upon their lives.

Yeah. I, wow. I, I think this is a great, what’s the right word? Uh,

this is a great exercise. There. There we go. That’s the right one. This would be a great exercise for all the dads listening. I, I mean, guys, I challenge you like. If you maybe rewriting the episode, get the questions or, hey, like you said, the age of chat, GPT right?

Chaz Wolfe: Seriously,

doesn’t actually take that much effort to, to, to be better.

D Brent Dowlen: Right. It’s, it’s, uh, kind of scary, but, you know, you can get those questions, find you some questions. I had one of the most rewarding conversations I’ve had. Uh, my [00:54:00] daughter and I used to get up. I’m a fair weather walker. It’s really cold when I get up in the mornings right now.

Um, but as spring comes back along, I’ll get up and go walking early in the morning. It’s like four o’clock in the morning, um, before I start my day. And my oldest daughter will go with me a lot of times. And we had this conversation one time when we were walked along and she’s gotten into anime. I, I was never a big anime person, but like.

She’s got a couple ants who are big anime. So I was like, okay, right there. There’s some guidance in there that can help, you know, steer that a little bit.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Uh, but she had gotten into this anime and I actually know which one it is, but we were walking and talking. I was like, well, what, you know, tell me what you’re loving right now.

Right. And she started, she’s like, well, you don’t really wanna hear about this. I said, I do. She’s like, you don’t even like anime. And I said, but I love listening to you. So tell me all about it. If this is [00:55:00] what you love right now, tell me all about it.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: And over the course of like walking on and off for the next three days, I got like an in-depth six or seven hours worth of explanation of my hero academia, which I have still never said, seen or read, but

Chaz Wolfe: Yep.

D Brent Dowlen: Don’t need to now watching my, yeah, exactly. But I loved watching my daughter light up.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, yeah,

D Brent Dowlen: yeah. As she talked about this thing, she just truly, really enjoyed. All right. You know, I’m making my checklist in my head, buy her more these books.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: It was just such a rewarding conversation to just listen to her talk about something that made her light up.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. Yeah. That’s cool. That’s cool. Yeah. Finding each one is what we talked about earlier, you know, not making a blanket, you know, just assuming that they’re all into the same thing. You know, interestingly enough for us, you know, all of our kids are doing BMX, [00:56:00] but I’m assuming at some point, you know, maybe one of them will be interested in something different or maybe not, you know?

Um, but it’s, it’s, um, their personality still shine through, you know, so, so being able to find out why this thing is so important to them, you know? Um, it, it was interesting. I, once a month we do a, uh, like a success leadership call for kids inside of our community. So, uh, we call it GXT Generation Next. And, um, both my kids, uh, my daughters are on there.

Usually it’s like eight to 18, kind of as the range. And so a couple months ago, um, I was asking about, oh, we were setting plans for the next year, uh, for 2026. And, um, my oldest daughter already won that. The same thing I just told you where my dad, my son won second, my oldest daughter took first in her age group, and my third daughter was bumped by another rider and wasn’t able [00:57:00] to make it through to the finals.

And so she didn’t have a chance to finish, which was a bummer. It happens in racing. And so my second daughter, her, she was like, I, I wanna win. Or I, I wanna get rock one, I wanna, I wanna get that plate on my bike. Um, and, which was great, but like, it was like this, I don’t know, like the way that she described it was like this, I don’t know, like rounded, creative, soft, you know, uh.

Just ability to just win. But it wasn’t like, I’m a champion, I’m gonna win. You know, it was like this, I don’t know, very delicate flower ish. I’m gonna win, answer anyway. Uh, and then of course my first born’s, like, you know, I’m a champion. I’m gonna win, you know, just more of the direct, you know, first born type language.

And so it was just, even, even though that they had the same goal, the way that it came out was so unique and different. So anyway, just kinda echoing on some of the things we’ve already said here today. It’s pretty powerful.

D Brent Dowlen: As we wrap this up, [00:58:00] Chaz, as we looked Lynn in this plane, um, first, before I forget ’cause I’m gonna, I I’m totally getting lost in this conversation. Where’s the best place for people to connect with you?

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, yeah. Gathering the kings.com is our website. So if you happen to be an entrepreneur, um, and you want to build a business that runs without you, so your family never has to.

Um, we’ve got, uh, different events like the Family Mastermind that I mentioned earlier. Um, we’ve got coaching options that we work with entrepreneurs to be able to do that, but, uh, or you can just find me on social. I’m super active on Facebook and LinkedIn. Um, I’m always down to, to connect and chat and help dads.

So,

D Brent Dowlen: all right guys. Of course we’ll have all of his contacts down in the social notes or show notes or podcast description or whatever stinking platform you’re on. I’m like,

Chaz Wolfe: somewhere around here

D Brent Dowlen: I am on so many platforms. Uh, now it’s, it’s like when you ask people where they [00:59:00] find your podcast, they’re like, oh, I find it here.

And then you get someone else. Like, I find it, you know, on, on this platform. It’s like, I’m glad I’m on 27 platforms. Yay. Um, so, but we will make sure you can connect with Chaz. I’m really interested. I think that this is an, just off the cuff, just hearing you talk about it. I love the idea of your program because there are so many dads who are trying to live their best life.

They’re trying to be great dads, and they’re consumed, they built businesses because they, they believe that this was the best way they could provide for their family, and now they’re stuck in the very thing that they built to give their family freedom.

Chaz Wolfe: Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Uh, and it, and it’s, it’s stealing that from them and they’re feeling that pressure.

So I love that you’re doing, this is a, it just sounds amazing from the onset and that you have built a community where you’re interacting with the kids as well and got back on. That’s incredible. Before we [01:00:00] totally land this plane, we’ve touched on a lot and shared some amazing ideas. Today. If someone listening heard nothing else, what do you want them to leave with today?

Chaz Wolfe: That people do what they want to do. The, the whole show here. The reason why they’re listening still after all this time is because they wanna, uh, be a better dad. And, um, so if you wanna be a better dad, go be a better dad. Um, don’t just say it, don’t just listen to a podcast. Go actually take the action that it takes to be a better dad.

We’ve given you several things here on the show that you can go do to increase your intentionality or your curiosity or your care, but at the end of the day, people do what they wanna do. So this year, 2026 will be full of things that you say are important. Um, it will, when you look back at, at the end of this year, and you think about all the things that you did or didn’t do.

The things that you did were the things that [01:01:00] were most important. And so if you’re a better dad, it’s because you made it a priority and you, you did the thing you said you wanted to do. So go for it.

D Brent Dowlen: So honest. So, so honest. It’s one of those, uh, favorite sayings. If it’s really important to you, you’ll make a way.

If it’s not, you’ll find an excuse

Chaz Wolfe: how it works,

D Brent Dowlen: right? Good

Chaz Wolfe: time

D Brent Dowlen: guys. Thanks for joining Chaz and I today on the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast. We’re just a community of dads navigating life’s challenges together, trying to lift each other up. Until next time, laugh, learn and live the dad [01:02:00] life.