Eve Hall: The Blood Flow Crisis That Starts at Twenty and Steals Function One Decade at a Time

Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] Eve, if a man’s body is struggling in the bedroom, how often is that actually a warning sign rather than a performance problem?

Eve Hall: So, I love this question, but it’s so multi-layered because there’s a lot of different things that can come into play when it comes to performance in the bedroom, right? Uh, if the person is really attracted to the, their partner or not, that’s number one, right?

And, um, a lot of times. There can be issues there, right? Um, also, what’s their, what was their day like, you know, how was, um, the rest of their day? Was it a stressful day? Stress can play a big part in sexual performance. Um, you know, any other responsibilities that, uh, people are maybe thinking about when it comes to, um, you know, getting horizontal in bed, right?

If you are. Thinking about the checklist that you have to do in your mind, or the responsibilities that you have, you’re not gonna be able to [00:01:00] get into the mind frame of being in the moment and being able to express yourself and connect with your partner. So those are some of the, you know, emotional and the psychological things that come into play.

And then also, are you having a fight with your partner, right? Or are you in a good place? Uh, so the emotional aspect of the relationship is obviously very key now in hookups. That’s not gonna be the case. There’s not gonna have, they’re not, you’re not gonna have that. And if we’re just talking purely physical blood flow is the key.

So blood flow is absolutely something that men need in order to, um, have proper function and, uh, over time. Men do experience a decrease in blood flow to their genitals in their twenties. 20% of men already have some form of erectile dysfunction and it goes up 10% per decade. So by the time men are 40 or 50, 40 to 50% of men already have.

Some form of erectile dysfunction. It’s extremely common. [00:02:00] And unfortunately, men are not talking a lot about their function with their doctors because maybe they’re too embarrassed or with their partners, because again, it brings them shame and you know, maybe even with their friends because, oh my gosh, why would you tell your friends?

Something so personal about yourself that they could tease you about later on, right? So there’s a lot of factors that go into, um, having normal function, uh, but you know, trying to tease out those different areas are the way that you can really figure out what’s going on with you. And so when I see somebody in my practice, I really do a comprehensive evaluation to try and tease those things out so that we can, you know, try and get to the root of the issue.

Brent Dowlen: My guest today is Eve Hall. Eve is a licensed physical therapist who treats conditions regarding sexual health. She’s also a certified health coach on a mission to destigmatize conversations about sex and sexual health. She’s the host of a podcast called

Eve Hall: Please [00:03:00] Me.

Brent Dowlen: The number one sexuality podcast in the USA and globally, where she covers all sorts of topics related to sexuality, such as safe sex, kink, fetish, orgasm, big, clean energy, relationship options, and so much more.

Today she’s here to dive into men’s sexual health with us, with topics like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, shrinkage, and natural enhancement of our favorite friend, and that’s why I wanted her to be today’s cast to help us understand. What our bodies might actually be saying and what to do next.

We’re gonna jump headfirst in right after we check in with our sponsors.

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Use the code Thrive for up to 80% off your order, and free shipping on orders over $75. Just for our listeners now on with the show, the Driven To Thrive broadcast [00:05:00] purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving purpose-filled intentional lives. Welcome to the Driven 2 Thrive broadcast where men learn to lead themselves, their families, and their world with purpose, growth, and lasting impact.

I’m your host, Brent Dowlen, and my guest today is Eve Hall. Eve. Welcome to the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast. It’s amazing to have you on today. I’m so excited about our conversation.

Eve Hall: I’m so excited to be here today. Thank you so much for having me on.

Brent Dowlen: Now Eve, we’re gonna drive dive right into this because I don’t often get a chance to.

Talk with someone with your knowledge and expertise, and this is a tender subject for a lot of guys. We get really uncomfortable guys. Eva’s gonna lay this out for us in such amazing ways. We’ve already had a conversation before and that’s why she’s here because she’s going to help us talk about something that we’re a little uncomfortable with, but it’s gonna be great for us.

So right off the bat, [00:06:00] what are some of the common myths men believe about sexual performance?

Eve Hall: Uh, that penetration is everything. And unfortunately, most of the porn that you watch on, you know, whatever channels you’re looking at or you know, the sex scenes that you see in movies or in TV shows always show penetrative sex, and that is how men are able to orgasm.

But unfortunately, that is not how women orgasm. 95% of women need external clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. That’s not to say that we don’t like penetration, but it can be coupled with external clitoral stimulation in order to get the woman to experience more pleasure. So I think that the biggest myth is that penetration is all women need in order to orgasm, and it’s not.

And I love talking about the orgasm gap, and if you want, I can explain [00:07:00] what that is.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah, go ahead. Let’s jump into it while we’re here.

Eve Hall: Absolutely. So the orgasm gap is a phenomenon in heterosexual relationships where men have way more orgasms than women do. And that goes across the board from hookups all the way to marriage and every other relationship style in between.

And you know, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that, um, and it’s multi-layered, right? It’s not just that men think that. Their penis is everything, right? That’s not the only thing. Oftentimes women don’t understand their bodies and how to cl lax, and they just automatically assume that their partner’s gonna know exactly what buttons to push, and that’s not the case.

We need to have a lot more communication about the bedroom before we get into the bedroom so that we can be satisfying each other and helping each other to enjoy it to the fullest.

Brent Dowlen: Now guys, if you’re not [00:08:00] locked in already, you’re messing up because Eve’s gonna help you with something you care very much about, and that’s going to be your ability to show up sexually in your relationship. So, I don’t know a guy who doesn’t wanna show up better in their relationship. I’ve been married for, we’re getting close to, it’ll be 25 years in April and.

I still wanna show up better for my wife, right? I still want to like, I don’t think she deserves less of me. If anything, she deserves me better 25 years in our marriage than she did when I first married her. So guys. We’re gonna dive into those kind of conversations. We’re gonna dive into your health because oh my goodness, if you miss that opening, those numbers are terrifying as a man.

Like I, I was sitting here like starting like, you know, feeling that twinge, just like, whoa, whoa. No, I am, I’m 46 this year. Whoa. Don’t want to hear those things, but let’s [00:09:00] step half a step back here for a second. And even from your clinical experience, what’s the difference between a performance problem and an underlying health issue?

Because I, we don’t disassociate it at all. We’re just like, it doesn’t work. Hmm. Right.

Eve Hall: Exactly. Exactly. And that’s the mind game, right? Uh, and a lot of times it brings on shame. So I wanna say, first of all, congratulations for 25 years of marriage. That is an incredible accomplishment.

Mike Lindell: Thank you.

Eve Hall: And secondly, I wanna say that there’s absolutely no shame in having any kind of sexual health condition, whether it be a sexually transmitted infection or whether it be some kind of issue with function.

And you know, a lot of times people really know what’s going on with them. They know that their mind isn’t in the right place, or they know that they’ve had a stressful day and they, and that then they can correlate that. To [00:10:00] the performance issue, but if it’s something that you’re noticing over the course of time, and a couple of things that I’ll bring up are one morning wood, right?

Um, that’s not the technical term, right? But um, having an erection first thing in the morning is a normal part of male sexual function. And if that starts to disappear. You start having them less frequently or you you’re not having them anymore, then you know that your sexual function is diminishing.

Also, spontaneous erections, most men have spontaneous erections throughout the day, and that is, again, normal function. And you can remember back to when you were a teenager and it would happen all the time, right? And so as you get older, those. Things start to fall away. Um, and again, that is another sign that there’s some sort of functional issue going on.

Okay. And then sometimes men will get [00:11:00] hard, but they won’t be able to maintain it enough to either penetrate or to finish the job. Right. Let’s just put it that way. So. Um, those are some of the things that, you know, you can be looking out for if you are starting to have functional issues. Um, and also just thinking about all of the other things when you do have a functional issue that could really play a part in.

You know, what’s going on in the bedroom? Are you having a lot of stress? Are you, um, taking medication? Because sometimes medication can also cause issues with erectile function. Looking at the side effects of those medications to make sure that it’s not the medication that’s causing you these issues. So, you know, all of those things can tie into sexual function.

You need to really look at it from various different points of view. Um, however, um, if a man is having, uh, you know, any kind of functional [00:12:00] issues and it’s something that you know is going on over the course of, say, a, a month or two, or even three I, that’s the best time to reach out for help. Not three years down the line when your function is really tanking and you can’t even get it up anymore.

That is not when you wanna treat. I mean, yes, you can get treatment at that time and obviously a lot of men do wait. Um, but if you start to have functional issues, that’s when you wanna start, um, to look at what sorts of treatments you can get for the condition.

Brent Dowlen: So. It sounds like we’re battling this on multiple fronts, and I don’t think, I think that’s something we don’t actually realize a lot of as men is sometimes it’s in our head. Right. Sometimes it’s, it’s a psychological cause. Sometimes it’s that stress or that fatigue or Right. Sometimes it’s the, our head’s just not in the [00:13:00] game, which.

Here’s a great common myth that women believe no guys are not always good to go. You can’t just snap your fingers and, and we’re like a hundred percent in all the time. Um, sometimes there’s other stuff going on in our brains. So let’s, let’s key in on the physical first and then we’ll jump into the psychological in a few minutes when it comes to erectile dysfunction and like premature ejaculation, right?

As, as you’ve experienced, how often is it only physical or only psychological, or is it usually across both going on?

Eve Hall: I think that one leads to the other, right? So if somebody’s starting to have physical issues. And they’re not able to perform in the bedroom that will cause psychological issues because the next time it’s time to, you know, have a go around, they’re gonna be thinking, is it gonna work this time?

Or is it not gonna [00:14:00] work? And that stress can also cause psychological issues. And then you have to look at the emotional connection between the couple, you know? So for hookups, obviously that’s not gonna be the case, but if you’ve been together for a long time. Where is your relationship standing right now?

Are you in a place where you’re feeling connected to your partner? Are you creating a safe space for your partner? And is is, um, is your partner, you know, fully on board with, you know, having that intimate time? Or are there some areas of, of tension that can also play into. Performance. So there’s just a lot of layers to, um, sexual performance that I think people need to really tease out depending on if they’re in a relationship or if they’re single.

There’s just a lot of different, um, things that you would be able to look at for that.

Brent Dowlen: Now, guys, let me throw this out here, because she, she put this in a really [00:15:00] important perspective, right? That relationship with you, you and your spouse, or you and your girlfriend or whatever, that connection works differently.

A lot of times women want to feel connected with you to have intimacy with you, whereas men want the intimacy because that’s where they feel connected. And so you, you may be going, I need to connect. Physically to reestablish that intimacy. And her brain is going, uh, no, I kinda hate you right now. And so that’s just not gonna happen, right?

Because she needs that into emotional intimacy first and that connection first before the physical intimacy. So, you know, you, you already pointed out communication and communication and communication, uh, is something that’s missing in a lot of bedrooms right now. ’cause it’s not something like you, you said it well.

You don’t see that important. [00:16:00] There’s not like this great conversation about what’s coming and what’s gonna happen and how it’s gonna work, or Right. We don’t think of that as sexy, but we need to get past that and start communicating better. Now, you talked about blood flow earlier, so let’s, let’s hit that.

Health hard, metabolic health, cardiovascular health, lifestyle, sleep, stress. How does this impact our body’s ability and our sexual function?

Eve Hall: Yes, absolutely. Our bodies need to be healthy in order to have healthy sexual function. It goes absolutely hand in hand. So if you’re on tons of medications and you’re, you know, you’ve had a heart attack or you have high blood pressure, all of those things are gonna play into your sexual function.

So the healthier body, your, the healthier your body can be. The better you are gonna have, um, your sexual function. It goes hand in hand. So [00:17:00] sleep is essential. I recommend seven to eight hours of sleep in general. Obviously everybody’s different. Some people can function on less than that. Um, but generally most people need seven to eight hours of sleep per night.

So trying to get. Sleep, making sure that you drink enough water, um, and not always caffeinated beverages, right? Um, because caffeinated beverages are diuretics and so they don’t count towards your, um, your fluid intake. So half of your body weight and ounces is what you should be drinking every single day in order to have, um, a hydrated body.

And hydration is so essential for blood flow. ’cause our blood is made up of mostly water, right? So if we’re not putting enough. Water into our bodies, our blood is gonna be thicker and you’re not gonna get as much blood flow to the genital area. So that is essential too. Um, eating healthy is absolutely essential and, you know, everybody has their own likes and needs.

I don’t like specific eating plans. I [00:18:00] think that everybody needs to find. What works for them in terms of, um, health and, and you know, obviously there’s the macros, you know, the carbohydrates, proteins, um, and the um. The, um, what am I missing? Fats right? Fat. Um, and so yeah, so you need to get a healthy amount of all of those things, whether you’re, you know, vegan and you’re having protein from, you know, Tempe and, uh, you know, lots of.

Lentils and beans, or you are a mediator and you’re getting, um, your protein in that way. Either way, you need to have a certain amount of protein for your body to function, um, properly. You have to have enough carbohydrates. Um, but thinking about them as being complex carbohydrates and not simple carbs, obviously, um, because simple carbs.

Just shoot our blood sugars up and then they tank. And so that’s not necessarily good for your blood sugar. Um, which, you know, obviously needs to be [00:19:00] healthy for you to not get diabetes. Um, so there are many different factors, but yes, our bodies need to be healthy from the inside out and when they are, our function is gonna be that much better.

Brent Dowlen: You, you caught me right in the middle perfectly with, with the whole caffeinated beverage thing.

Eve Hall: Is that what you’re drinking? Are you having coffee still? I

Brent Dowlen: was gonna say that’s, that’s

Eve Hall: my, well, it’s still morning for you, right?

Brent Dowlen: Well, that’s my third cup of coffee since I got, wow. My water bottle has been sitting here on my desk since I poured my first cup of coffee.

But it’s like you, you said more water, less caffeine. Right. As I was picking up my cup, I was like, oh. Oh, lemme

Eve Hall: switch. Lemme switch. And I have my cup of water here too, and I’ve already had my coffee for the morning. I usually have some in the morning. I love coffee. I will never give it up. It’s not that I’m saying don’t drink caffe caffeinated beverages.

Obviously, you know, coffee can be good for you, just [00:20:00] depending on the body, right? Mm-hmm. Some people, it hurts their stomach and it’s not. For them, but for other people. There are health benefits to coffee itself, but if you overdo it, obviously it’s not gonna be good for you. And drinking water or other beverages.

Some people hate water. I, I used to not like water myself. Now I love it. But you know, drinking other beverages that are non-caffeinated do count towards your fluid intake. If you’re one of those people that just don’t like to drink water.

Brent Dowlen: I, the, the timing was just totally incidental and just cracked me up because it was just totally incidentally aligned.

But it was like, oh, I feel so called out. I’m glad I’m not on camera at the moment. And I know you weren’t trying to, it was just, it was just the irony of the timing was great for me. Oh, so Eve, even when the body checks out, right? And we’ve talked about the physical side a little bit here. A lot of men are still struggling, so I wanna dive into the uncomfortable fart for that [00:21:00] for us, and that that’s the psychology and the relational part of it.

Right? A lot of guys can accept that, oh, maybe I’m getting older, and so my body doesn’t work quite as well. And, and there’s a lot you can do about that, gentlemen. But let’s, let’s dive into how, how anxiety, shame, and maybe past sexual experiences affect a man’s performance.

Eve Hall: Yeah. So you know, I’ve heard people say that you are a culmination of all of the good and bad decisions that you’ve made, or your body is a culmination of all of the good and bad decisions that you’ve made in terms of your nutrition.

Right? But I also feel like. It is also a culmination of all of the good and bad decisions that you’ve made in the bedroom when it comes to sexual function. If you’ve had bad experiences in the past, that’s sort of gonna carry over into your fu future relationships. So, and it’s hard for it not to, right?

Um, especially [00:22:00] if you’ve had functional issues in the past. Um, so. I’m sorry. I think I lost my train of thought and I can’t remember the actual question that you asked me. Can we start? No worries. That one over?

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we’ll slide that one back real quick here. I’ll mark it. Eve, how do anxiety, shame, and past sexual experiences affect a man’s performance today?

Eve Hall: Absolutely. Yeah. So I started off on, um, the right foot and then I sort of lost my train of thought. So shame is huge. Okay? Shame comes from society, it comes from our families. It comes from our friends, right? And, um. Shame does not have any role in the bedroom. There should absolutely be no shame when it comes to sexuality.

Uh, it is a beautiful gift. Um, our bodies were wired for pleasure, and so there should really be no shame around it. And unfortunately, our society tells us otherwise, right? And so it [00:23:00] takes time to sort of deconstruct that, figure out where that shame is coming from, and then allowing yourself to release that.

It’s really essential if you wanna have a healthy sex life. Um, emotionally, obviously men have to have a connection with their partner, um, often in long-term relationships to really keep that function going, right? And so, um, having that emotional connection is really important with your partner. And for women, it’s particularly important because a lot of times women need that emotional connection in order to feel safe.

And safety is absolutely essential for women in the bedroom. We need to feel safe in order to be able to really, fully enjoy ourselves. And so that is a product of the relationship. Uh, how are we showing up to that relationship? How are we communicating with our partner in that relationship? Are we giving them ideas about what our desires and their wants and needs are?

All of that is so essential so that you know you can be on the same page when [00:24:00] it’s time to have some fun in the bedroom.

Brent Dowlen: I’m gonna jump ahead of myself just a little bit here while we’re. Focused on this moment and, and ask you, ’cause you know, for men, even, even if you’ve been in a long-term relationship for years and years and years, right?

For most of us men, it’s very difficult to talk about any kind of sexual struggles. Even with our partners, uh, you know, something doesn’t work right? Like the anxiety level jumps to a thousand just instantly. Do you have any communica communication tools that. You would recommend actually help men bring this up without feeling overexposed or weak?

Eve Hall: I would say the biggest tool is my show. You know, this is something that I talk about all the time on my show. Please me, uh, podcast. And you know, I’m always talking about different ways that we can help. Communication piece because really communication is [00:25:00] everything, which is why I love doing the role play at the end of the show because it really models conversations about sticky subjects and you know, having a performance issue in the bedroom is one of those sticky subjects.

And you’re absolutely right. It increases anxiety and you know, for women, um, you know. It increases anxiety for us too, because we also don’t wanna hurt our partner’s feelings in any way. Um, but, you know, oftentimes it’s also disappointing on our side too. A lot of times people don’t really take that into consideration and they’re like, oh, well, you know, don’t hurt their feelings, you know, but what about the disappointment that you feel?

Right? And so I feel like having these conversations is so essential because we don’t wanna disappoint our partners. Right. And we also don’t wanna have a functional issue. And so having these conversations to try and see what we can do to better that part of our lives is essential. And so getting over yourself and getting over the that first conversation, because I promise you that once you’ve had that first conversation, [00:26:00] you are going to be able to have the second one much easier.

And then the third one comes more naturally. And then next thing you know, you’re gonna be talking about sex all the time. But one of the icebreakers, I would say would be to ask your partner. Uh, what their top three, uh, turnons are. And don’t you think that every relationship should know that about their significant other?

Right? It’s essential. And so that’s a really easy and great place to start.

Brent Dowlen: Now, I generally think of myself as, you know, we have a pretty solid relationship. Uh, I, I work with men on relationship advice and stuff like that, but like. I’m gonna say guilty right here, guys. Like I, I couldn’t, I could not list off my wife’s top three turn ons.

I couldn’t do it. I, I don’t know those off the top of my head. Wow. And now I feel honesty, stupid honesty that I don’t like. It’s like, wait, holy crap. I really should know that. Why do I not know that? [00:27:00] Right? Uh, I said we were sitting in a marriage class, we trying to do one a year, just, just to. You know, maintenance, right?

Just to maintenance work on the marriage. So we committed to trying to do like one a year and I laughed so hard ’cause one of the icebreakers they did one night, they were asking about what’s your spouse’s favorite song or artist or book, right? It was, it was one of those little things and like 99% of the people.

Could not answer that question. And I was feeling myself pretty good. I was like, I know the answer to this. Yeah. But, but right in this moment I’m thinking, wow, how do I not know that answer after almost 25 years of marriage? Like, this is, so I have some room to grow guys. I, I’m guessing I’m not the only one, but I’ll, I’ll throw that out there.

So, you know, you’re not the only one. I got some room to grow after almost 25 years. And you should definitely check out her show. I was listening to it the other day. Uh, I listened to [00:28:00] actually several episodes of back to back just the other day. And so you should absolutely dig into that and we’ll have links for that.

But not to sidetrack us, but we’ll have links for that. You gotta check that out. Most men aren’t lacking effort, right? We’re, we’re pretty good at, we we want to go if you can give us a clear direction, we’re like, yeah, yeah. We’ll do the work A lot of times. We’re also drowning in advice. So I wanna spend the next few minutes kind of sorting some truth from hype, if you’ll help us with that.

There are countless mail enhancement products and tools and stuff out there to make us feel better, make things work better. Is there anything worth drying? Is there anything we should absolutely avoid? Uh, I know like. I, I’ve heard some people talk about some various like pumps and stuff like that, and it’s like, I, I don’t know anything about that kind of thing.

So, you know, there’s a lot of, uh, on the internet, there’s a lot of stupid on the internet. Let’s just face that, [00:29:00] right? So what’s worth actually trying and doing, what should we avoid? That kind of thing.

Eve Hall: I love this question, and I’m gonna start with the watermelon challenge because I think that that is something that anybody can do.

So the Watermelon Challenge is something that I created. It is eating four cups of watermelon every single day for a week, and then. Seeing how your function changes in that week because our body, as I mentioned before, needs good nutrition. And what’s incredible about Watermelon is that it is a natural Viagra.

It has a chemical in it called Citruline, and Citruline helps. Blood flow to the genital area. Okay. It’s like taking a natural Viagra. It helps to open up the blood vessels so that more blood can flow, and that is basically, essentially what Viagra and Cialis does. Okay. It just opens up the blood vessels.

So if you do have watermelon every single day, and it [00:30:00] has to be four cups, that would be four cups of the red one, or if you can find the yellow watermelon. One cup of the yellow watermelon per day for an entire week and see how your blood, how your blood flow changes, and how your function changes in that week.

Um, so nutrition is essential. You must have plenty of fruits and vegetables in your diet every single day. Men need about 10 fruits and vegetables in their diet every single day. So I recommend a product called Juice Plus. Um. Also, um, let’s see, what was, what was the rest of the question here? So, okay, so that was one thing.

Another thing would be penis pumps. So, penis pumps are something that I highly recommend, um, and I recommend to every single one of my clients that come to me for erectile dysfunction. I give them some homework. Okay? So I’m gonna give everybody out there who’s listening. Some homework as well. So I recommend using a penis pump for 10 minutes per day, and what [00:31:00] that does is it helps to increase the blood flow on a level that you can’t do just from.

Plain masturbation or sexual activity. It increases the blood flow and holds the blood in the penis for 10 full minutes. And what will happen over time is that the, the strength of your blood vessels are gonna get stronger. They’re gonna get bigger and they’re gonna help, uh, the blood flow is going to increase to that area.

So a penis pump is a great tool. And there’s one that I specifically recommend, which I can share information with you about. Um, also I recommend daily masturbation, and that’s super important whether you’re in a relationship or you’re not in a relationship. Um, daily masturbation I think, is essential for men because if a man ejaculates 21 or more times per month.

It decreases their risk of prostate cancer. So having a daily practice of masturbation, I think is a really great tool for men [00:32:00] to keep that function up. And if you’re only having sex once a week, maybe twice a week, or you know, I don’t know, sometimes if you’re in a long-term relationship, sometimes weeks, months can go by, right?

And you’re not having sex. Your body, just like the muscles in your biceps, right? If you’re not using those muscles, you will lose function and strength in those muscles. Same with the penis. Now the penis is not the type of muscle where you can just like flex it, right? The blood has to flow and it actually has smooth muscles on the inside of the.

So the smooth muscles are like your heart. They just work all the time, right? They work when you need them to, but if you’re not using them often, they can also get weak. And something called penile shrinkage can happen where the penis can actually lose, um, tissue and get smaller and you don’t want to lose your size.

Um, and um, and that scares a [00:33:00] lot of men into being like, oh, wait a minute. I need to start taking care of this before, you know, I start losing size and it can over time get smaller if you’re not using it. So I say use it or lose it. Masturbate, penis pump. And try the watermelon challenge. Those are some really great tools, and if you’re having severe function, um, functional issues, or if you want to turbo boost your erections or you want to start treating a situation where you already start to see some changes in your function, that’s the best time to do it, and I highly recommend acoustic wave therapy for that.

Brent Dowlen: So I just became a big fan of watermelon. Uh,

Eve Hall: okay.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah, I know, like, I just, just now I don’t know that I’ve ever heard that about watermelon, but, uh, I, yeah, I’m increasing my intake of watermelon this year. ’cause who knew? Like, I mean, I, today, today I, I like watermelon as much as the next guy, [00:34:00] you know, barbecue or something like that.

But never thought of it as a super food for that kind of action. I just became a bigger fan, so loving that idea. We’ll, absolutely. Uh, I know you have a link on your website, I’m guessing that’s the pump you recommend, and I’ll make sure and include that in the show notes as well. Uh, to help guys with that.

I know that there are faith-based groups that are going to have problems with the whole masturbate everyday thing. Right, so let me ask for their sake on this. If you have more intercourse with your spouse, does it have the same reaction?

Eve Hall: If you are ejaculating when you’re having intercourse, that counts as a session.

A masturbation session. So if you don’t want to masturbate on a regular basis, if you are already having [00:35:00] sexual intercourse on a regular basis, then yes, that can take the place of absolutely. Um, but if you are in a long-term relationship or a relationship and you’re only having sex maybe once a week or or less, you need, and you want to maintain your function, then you do need to masturbate on a regular basis.

And the penis pump is not. Considered masturbation because it’s, um, it, it, it does, it’s not necessarily like a feel good type of situation, right? It just is there, the blood flows there, it holds it there, and it’s not like, it feels wonderful, right? Um, masturbation obviously does come with pleasure, right?

And, and so you, and you wanna masturbate to completion, so you wanna ejaculate as well. Um, if people have, you know, problems with, you know. The faith kind of intermixing or, um, saying that that’s not something that they should do well, um, I would just recommend having more sex then.

Brent Dowlen: Well, there it is.

Eve Hall: But obviously [00:36:00] there’s gotta be consent on both sides, you know?

And so it’s not just, you know, have sex. There’s gotta be consensual sex on both sides. Pe both people have to be ready for it.

Brent Dowlen: There you go, gentlemen. There’s, uh. There is a therapist recommending at least 21 sexual encounters with your spouse every month. Your therapist says so, so I go do the work guys like, there it is right there.

Pick up your game.

Eve Hall: I certainly, I certainly wouldn’t complain.

Brent Dowlen: You

Eve Hall: know, so, um, you know, and there’s many women that wouldn’t also, you know, it depends on the partner, but there is something called sexual desire discrepancy, where, you know, people have different desire discrepancy there, different desires, and it can be a discrepancy in relationships.

So trying to figure that out and come to a balance is really essential in relationships.

Brent Dowlen: Let me, let me ask you, on a medical standpoint, uh, how do you evaluate things like pelvic floor [00:37:00] training? Uh, did you, so let me give, I’m probably gonna get this wrong. Did you say shockwave therapy or what, what was the therapy you recommended that you use with your clients?

The

Eve Hall: acoustic wave therapy.

Brent Dowlen: Yep. Yeah, see, I know I got it wrong. Uh, our supplements from an evidence, evidence-based perspective, how do you evaluate the need and use for things like that?

Eve Hall: So typically when a client comes to me, uh, we do a full. Evaluation. Just like if you were to go to your doctor and you talk to them about what sorts of issues you have.

So I look at a per person’s medical history. I talk to them about their functional issues. I talk to them about psychological issues. I get a really clear. Picture of what’s going on in their life. I even talk to them about nutrition, um, about sleep, about water intake, all of the things that we talked about before.

And I get a really clear picture. And then from there we, um, we will create a plan. But typically when a person is coming to [00:38:00] me, they are coming to me. Um. If they’re coming to me for erectile dysfunction, they’re coming to me specifically for acoustic wave therapy. And you actually were correct because it’s also known as shockwave therapy.

Um, however, I don’t like to say shockwave ’cause it kind of scares people. Um, it sounds painful. Um, and it’s not the most comfortable, um, treatment. I’m not gonna lie. It feels like little tiny flicks, you know, to your tissue. Um, but it, it, it can be, um, you know. Pretty, like pain-free. Um, but it’s not like, you know, pleasurable, I would say.

Um, but it is a really great tool to help break those blockages up in your blood vessels. It really is the only thing that does that. Um, and then, you know, using the other modalities in conjunction with it. So oftentimes I’ll also recommend dry needling. And dry needling is the western equivalent of acupuncture.

And so there’s a protocol that I use. For [00:39:00] specifically to help with genital blood flow, um, for, you know, for my clients. Um, and then, you know, in terms of the other things, the other, um, things that are part of my protocol, I always recommend homework and it always, um, includes the, the things that I mentioned before, the, um.

The daily masturbation and also the penis pump because we’re trying to increase that function, right? And so you have to use it or you’ll lose it. And so we’re trying to increase it as much as possible and use it as much as possible so that we can gain that function back.

Brent Dowlen: Every man listening just had a mild stroke.

The minute you mentioned needling.

Eve Hall: Some of them did, but some people, you know, like that kink. So, you know, there is something, there is something called medical play and one of the things that, um, people like in, you know, the medical play kink is actually playing with needles. [00:40:00] So not everybody’s opposed to that. And I’ll just leave it there

Brent Dowlen: anywhere near that area of my body.

Like I’m a believer in acupuncture, I think. I think acupuncture is. Often not utilized as well as should be in the medical profession. That’s my personal opinion, but I, I think we could, like, there are a lot of people who could benefit from acupuncture. I’m actually hoping to see an acupuncturist soon. Uh, they helped a friend of mine with the sciatic pain that they have and like one treatment and like worlds of differences.

Like, oh yes, I need to sign up for that. Um, but you mentioned. Needles anywhere near that part of my body and like I just like curl up inside a little bit. No, just became an any,

Eve Hall: I love it.

Brent Dowlen: I, I want, I wanna get slightly uncomfortable for, from the male perspective for a minute [00:41:00] here and ask you. What the connection between emotional intimacy, safety, and sexual performance is that men often miss.

Eve Hall: So for a woman to be ready for, you know, having intimate time, a woman has to feel safe. And if there’s a lot of turmoil in the relationship, um, if there’s arguments being had, if the emotional connection is. Having issues that is gonna inhibit a woman from really, truly being ready for intimate time. So you really need to create that connection throughout your lives, even if it in that day, there’s no plans to have Intimacy.

Intimacy for women is created over the course of time and [00:42:00] the way that you love each other, right? So absolutely know what your partner’s, uh, love language is. Okay. And not just that feed that love language, but feed the other love languages too. ’cause they’re all essential and she should also know what your love language is and be feeding that love language as well as feeding the other love languages.

They’re so, so essential for people to feel connected with one another. Um, and so knowing that about your partner I think is essential. Um, and then, let’s see. I wanted to say something else, but I can’t think of what it was ’cause I seem to be losing my train of thought quite a bit today.

Brent Dowlen: I’m sorry, I’m derailing you.

No,

Eve Hall: no, it’s not you. It’s not you. It’s probably my hormones. Who knows? But hormones speaking of which we’ve haven’t covered, and knowing what your hormone pan panels are for men and for women is essential because obviously if your testosterone is low, you are gonna need to [00:43:00] supplement that in order to have normal function.

Brent Dowlen: Ooh, Ooh. Since you brought it up, I, I’ve gotta jump on that. While, since you brought it up, there are a lot of, there’s a lot of mixed information on, uh, testosterone replacement versus natural supplementation. As guys get older, I think every man at one point has heard and permanently embedded in their mind that our ho uh, testosterone levels start dropping at 30.

And progress every year, every five to 10 years after that. I think all of us have heard that. I don’t know, uh, if, if you’re qualified to discuss hormones up with us, and I don’t wanna put you into a, a, a, you know, bad situation where like open you up to a lawsuit or something. Why is it that so many of our doctors seem to shy away from hormone treatments in your opinion?

We go, we’ll, we’ll frame it that way [00:44:00] to protect you here. Why? Why is it so? I think they don’t.

Eve Hall: Mm-hmm. So I think that a lot of doctors, you know, in medical school don’t receive the training that they need in regards to hormone therapy. And, um, that’s something that’s come up a lot in women’s health recently.

Uh, for men’s health, I think that it’s been easier to get testosterone and hormone replacement therapy. Um. For a long time, but for women that’s sort of just now coming around, I wanna talk about the difference between normal function or normal hormone levels and optimal hormone levels. So when we’re young, we have normal hormone levels that are high.

As we get older, our hormone levels decrease over time. So when you are in your thirties, they’re gonna be different from when you’re in your fifties, which are gonna be different from when you’re in your seventies, and that is going to continually be [00:45:00] going down, down, down, and that is normal. Hormone levels, but it’s not necessarily optimal hormone levels.

And so trying to figure out what that optimal level is for you as your normal levels start to decrease is something that we all need to be looking at. And so. Getting your hormones tested on a regular basis, I think is essential for men and women, um, and for men, in particularly for function. And so, you know, you want to figure out what those optimal levels are that are gonna help you to maintain your function and to keep functioning at.

Your optimal level, right? That’s it’s in the name. Um, so that I wanted to just bring that up. So, yeah, absolutely. Doctors are not getting the training that they need, um, in terms of hormone health, and that is why they shy away from or write a prescription for you to go see someone else. Right. And so [00:46:00] seeing someone that specializes in hormones is the way to go, and they’re gonna do a very, very comprehensive.

Panel of blood work that’s gonna give them a lot more information than the general pattern or, or panel that your, you know, general practitioner would do.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. I had a discussion with one of my clients when I was a trainer about, he was getting his hormone levels tested and I asked him, I was like, well, what did your, he went to his regular practitioner and I asked him, he’s like, well, what were your free testosterone levels?

And he was like, I, I dunno what that is. It’s like, uh, that’s. Let me guess. They gave you this panel and it was fine. You are normal. And he is like, yeah. I said, but they, because they don’t test for that. Right? Uh, a lot of people think people who lift weights all the time are gonna have, it does increase your testosterone, but it also increases the amount of testosterone your body has to consume to function.

And so a lot [00:47:00] of like bodybuilders, like people who really like hit the gym hard, not just the average goer. Who would you would think would have higher testosterone levels actually are deficit because they don’t have free testosterone. ’cause their body absorbs everything it creates and actually doesn’t leave enough for normal function because of all the extra muscle they put put on.

And so getting a doctor actually test free testosterone is like pulling teeth. I talked to my doctor about it once. He’s like, you’re 37, you’re fine. You lift weights every day. Yeah, exactly.

Eve Hall: Like I said, men in their thirties, 30% of them already start to have erectile dysfunction issues. So it’s very common and not talked about and, and what I don’t like is that the doctor is saying, you’re only 37.

You are fine. Well, that’s shaming you. You know, first of all, it has nothing to do with your age. You know, sometimes function decreases. For [00:48:00] various reasons. And so why not look at it? Why not address it? And so when you get the wrong answer from the doctor, I always suggest that people come with a list of questions.

Everything that you want to know, make sure that you’re ready because as soon as you walk out that door, you’re gonna have a hard time reaching that doctor again, right? So really be prepared. You have to be, um, the master of your health. Everybody has to take on their health and really advocate for themselves.

Um, and if you don’t get the answers that you need after giving them the list of questions that you prepared. Then you need to find a different doctor that specializes specifically in hormones because, um, they are, they do exist. They are out there and they are gonna really look very comprehensively at everything.

Like you mentioned, the testosterone, the free testosterone, and everything else that comes into play.

Brent Dowlen: Eve, I, this wouldn’t be my show if I didn’t give actionable takeaways and I, we’ve already put some out there. But if a man listening could take [00:49:00] three simple actions this week to improve his sexual health.

They should they be besides going, you buy go, go buy out the store from watermelon guys. It’s just go to your local produce section, clear it out.

Eve Hall: Yeah. So absolutely number one is watermelons. Right? You know, that is such an easy way to like boost your sexual health and see how nutrition can play a role in your sexual health.

I think it’s a great experiment. I know a lot of people that have done it and it is. Always a surprise how much stronger the erections are on the other side of that week. So absolutely. Um, asking your partner, what are their top three turn, what, what their top three turn-ons are, right? We already talked about that.

You should know that about your partner and they should also know that about you. So opening up communication, whether it be, you know, maybe watching porn together, maybe some people that are, you know. Um, in your [00:50:00] religious group of community, may not wanna do that, that’s fine. But it is a good place to, you know, find something interesting that you can show to your partner and say, Hey, do you think that this is something you’d like to try?

If there’s something that you wanna try new in the bedroom. So mixing things up, trying something new in the bedroom I think is always great and it doesn’t have to be, um, you know, something that extreme. Um. Uh, another thing that I recommend is doing a massage on your partner and having them do it on you, and really thinking about the entire body as an erogenous zone, because sometimes, you know, you touching my shoulder or the back of my neck or the back of my knee is something that would turn me on, but no, you wouldn’t know that unless you did it right, or unless I told you.

And sometimes we don’t even know what those, you know, erogenous zones are on our partner, so. Trying to figure that out, you know, is I think a really fun activity to do with your partner. And it can even [00:51:00] be with clothes on, so there’s no pressure, right? Um, it’s just an exploration of the other person’s body.

Um, and then three, I would say masturbate, masturbating is so essential for function, and if you’re not having sex on a regular basis, it’s important so that you don’t lose. Uh, your size. And that goes for men and women. Women have something called vaginal atrophy that can happen and men have penile shrinkage.

And so we don’t want those things to happen over time, and they will 100% happen if you’re not using the parts. So making sure that you’re using your parts as much as possible, whether it be with a partner or solo play, is essential.

Brent Dowlen: Wow. I’m gonna go attack my wife after we finish recording.

Eve Hall: I think that’s great.

And you know, you mentioned, you know, sending a message to your wife that’s flirtation that happens and connection that happens even before you’re in the [00:52:00] bedroom, right? That you know, grazing of the back as you’re walking behind them when you’re getting your coffee in the morning, or that little text message that you send in the middle of the day.

Saying, Hey, I want you later tonight. Let’s meet in the bedroom at nine 30, or whatever it may be. You know? Um, having those small flirtations is essential to maintain connection in the relationship.

Brent Dowlen: Absolutely. Guys, I’ve been married for almost 25 years. I still can’t be in the same room with my wife without touching her.

Like I, I have to be by her. I have to be next to her. If I’m anywhere within range, my hand is on her shoulder or on her hip or something on her back. I cannot be near my wife without touching her. And it is honestly, one of the things that has made our marriage sustained this long is we still have that need to be touching and to be close to each other.

Uh, and, and that is fostered by just. That doing it just, just being there over and over again. Having that [00:53:00] connection of touching all the time where it’s, it’s not necessarily a sex thing, it’s a, Hey, I just need to be close to you. Um, has really been a core to our relationship for years and years and years that I highly recommend.

Like, honestly, like I have a rule when we’re out somewhere, my children are not allowed to sit between us. Except at home, the only, the only exception is like a movie night. My kids will come cuddle with me or something. But like if we go to church or we’re out somewhere, my wife and I sit next to each other.

The kids don’t sit between us. They sit on one side or the other. That’s it. And I learned that from my older brother years ago. It’s like, nope. We’re still together first. That’s it. It’s This is Us.

Eve Hall: That’s such a beautiful tip because really relationships are meant to last until you know the day that one of you dies, right?

And so you need to maintain that connection, and I can guarantee [00:54:00] you that your wife, because you do that, always feels loved by you. And women have to feel safe and have to feel loved in order for them to feel comfortable. Having intimate relationships. So absolutely maintaining that connection is so essential.

And that is a beautiful way to do it. And I love that there’s a rule, you know, in your home that your kids, you know, and of course we love our kids, right? But the reason why they’re in this world is because the two of you are together. And so making sure that that is the core and center of your household, I think is a beautiful thing.

Brent Dowlen: Well, you know, one day they’re gonna go to school. Are off to their own families or whatever they’re gonna do with their lives, and it’s just gonna be us again. And so that’s, that’s important to me. Eve. Let me ask what’s, what’s next? Have you got any big projects coming down the line that we need to know about?

What’s next for you?

Eve Hall: Well, I, let’s see. I am looking at writing a book this year, which is really exciting. Uh, so yeah, we will see when, [00:55:00] when that comes out. Um, and um, outside of that, just continuing my show. I’m on my seventh season. Uh, congrats. It starts. Yeah, it starts, um, in February. I’m not sure when this is coming out, so I’ll keep it evergreen, but, um, next week, but Okay.

Oh, perfect. Okay. So, um, so next week, uh, which would be February, whatever a week is from today with Wednesday, um, my, uh, season seven, uh, drops. And so, yeah, absolutely. Just, you know, following my show and, um, and you know, if you ever, any of your listeners ever need advice or need somebody to talk to about intimacy coaching or, I mean, I know that you do that as well or they need a physical therapy advice, you know, feel free to reach out to me on Please Me, that online.

So I just wanted to mention that anybody who is listening to this show today, the Driven to Thrive broadcast, if you reach out to me on Please Me Online and you want a Schedule a, a coaching [00:56:00] session, or a physical therapy session, I’m offering a hundred dollars off. Of that session, session, your first session with me, um, for anybody that listened to this show today, thank you so much for listening.

And what I want from every, for everybody is to just have the most amazing sex life possible. So I hope that for all of you.

Brent Dowlen: Well, you know, I, I’m, I’m okay with relationship coaching. I’m pretty good at that part. I’ll, I’ll leave the intimacy experts to you ’cause I, I still have a lot to learn on that. Uh, absolutely.

I, I’m great at helping you with date night and connecting with your wife, but my expertise does not lie in taking care of our body for intimacy. And there’s a lot to that guys, if you haven’t picked that up already in the show now, all of these contact information, of course, will be in the show notes, the podcast description, wherever you’re joining us.

You absolutely need to check out our podcast. Now I know I’m supposed to say please me in a sexy tone of voice. I don’t have a sexy tone of voice. [00:57:00] I

Eve Hall: disagree.

Brent Dowlen: The podcast name is

Eve Hall: please me. There you go.

Brent Dowlen: Maybe I’ll get Eve to say that for us so I can just cut that in that, that way we’ll get into Aton.

Eve Hall: I’d be happy to.

I’d be happy to.

Brent Dowlen: Alright, we’ll do that in a minute then Eve. As we wrap this up, we’ve talked about a lot of stuff. What is the most important takeaway you want my audience to hear today?

Eve Hall: I think the biggest thing is. That there is absolutely no shame in having a sexual health condition, whether it be a sexually transmitted infection or if you’re having issues with function, there’s absolutely no shame and there is help out there for you.

So that is the biggest takeaway that I want people to walk away from. And also that there’s no shame in sexuality, period. It’s a gift. It’s a gift from the universe, from the, your higher power, from whatever God you, um, choose to [00:58:00] worship. Um, it is a gift in our bodies if they were created in an image of God.

Were also created to experience pleasure. So if you are not experiencing pleasure to the most in your body, you can change that. And so I will leave everybody with that.

Brent Dowlen: Guys, for myself and Eve, thanks for hanging out with us today. Be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we’ll see you on the next one.

The Driven 2 Thrive broadcast, purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving. Purpose-filled intentional lives.