Tony Berardo: When Being a Dad Means Your Ego Goes Out the Door and Pure Joy Walks In

Speaker: [00:00:00] Coming up on this episode of Dad Hat, Shenanigans podcast. Typically I try to make a point change more diapers than my wife. Like that's, I like want to do that because it. She's done enough, right? She, she made this thing so the least I could do is change its diapers. No, no. 'cause it's, it is funny. I mean, I, I don't know if it's good or not, but the most information I got was always pessimistic.

I don't know if you can relate, but everyone, everyone, the advice if you want to call it that was always like, you better get some sleep now. 'cause you're not gonna get it later. But when she popped out, dude. I lost it. It was like this wave of goosebumps and love and just. Pure joy and emotion. Like everything that was kind of pent up, like your ego goes out the door, nothing else matters.

You forget about everything. You would literally take a bullet for her right there. So it's, it's a challenge, man. It's not easy. Is everyone that says like a stay-at-home mom is not a [00:01:00] real job. Fuck you. You do not know what you're talking about. But also, I think a lot of us men need to understand that, uh, we're in a very, very cool time technologically, and there's a lot of things that.

Better than doing the dishes, but you gotta quit being a pussy and you gotta do, you gotta do some shit. It's just once you have kids, that's it. You know that this is the right way. Like the, the way is not being independent single and buying the Maserati in a nice house like that is not the way you might think it's the way, but it ain't, it's not your purpose.

Brent Dowlen: Tony, what is your funniest, favorite dad story?

Tony Berardo: Uh, I, I got a few, um, uh, let me think. There's one that, I don't know if any dads can relate to this, but, um, and you just mentioned it, so it's funny that, that you talked about it. So we. Me and my wife and my daughter, we went to, um, [00:02:00] this place called Once Upon a Child, which is like a, a kind of like Plato's closet, bring in your baby clothes and you know, they give you credit.

So we go in there and, uh, she was about eight months old or so. Um, so she wasn't walking quite yet and obviously she's still in diapers. So we go in there and we're doing some shopping and typically I try to make a point change more diapers than my wife. That's, I like, want to do that because it, she's done enough, right?

She, she made this thing, so the least I could do is change it diapers. So we're in, uh, we're in Once Upon child and she's running my, my daughter's running through the aisles, you know, it's similar to Ross or anything else where there's little racks and she's going in and out of 'em and I'm trying to like chase.

Her in it, right? But she's kind of like doing this wobble thing and she's hanging onto these clothes and I pull the curtain open, or not curtain, but the curtain of clothes, and I, I poke out and then I get this whiff [00:03:00] of like zebra shit. You know what I mean? You know those diapers where it is like. You've changed dirty diapers, but this was like a new thing and I was just amazed.

So I was like, I'll take care of it. No big deal, babe. I got you. So I run out to the car, I open up the trunk. We have a Tesla. So I opened up the big Tesla. I had to move the stroller and everything, layer down flat, and I open it up and it was a blowout, but it wasn't the blowout. Maybe that some of us think it was the blowout to where it went up her back almost to her neck.

The, she was wearing like this, uh, onesie and this skirt that was completely blown out. It completely destroyed. And, and I was out there for quite some time, 'cause this was like my first blowout that I changed. So my wife was definitely worried, right. But I didn't have my phone on me 'cause she had the, the tush baby and it had my phone and my wallet and all that stuff in there.

So I end up changing her, but I look around and we didn't have any. Like onesies. It was just one shirt, but of [00:04:00] course this was a blowout, so I needed a bottom, but we didn't have a bottom, so I ended up taking another shirt that I had myself. Wrapping it up almost like she was a Chipotle burrito for her bottom.

So I go into, once upon a child, I'm flustered, I'm sweating. My ears are red. Like it's a, it's a rough day. And of course we're in Florida, so it's hot as hell because I'm, um, over this trunk like a troll, like changing this dirty diaper. And I go in and she has this shirt of mine wrapped around her bottom and one little tank top.

And my wife, the look on her face is priceless because she's like. You left, it took you forever. You came back and what the hell is this? My daughter looks like she is disheveled and a complete mess. Um, so yeah, that was my, my first, and now I've had many of those experiences, but I've learned where we have like four outfits in the trunk now and it was a good learning experience for everybody, but it was, uh, it was a nightmare for sure.[00:05:00]

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Brent Dowlen: Welcome to the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast, the unfiltered Truth of Being a Dad. Real Dads real stories, unfiltered, candid conversations on fatherhood. I'm your host, Brent Dowlen and today. My guest is Tony Berardo. Tony, welcome to the Dad Hat Shenanigans podcast.

Tony Berardo: What's up, two. Thanks for having me.

Brent Dowlen: Man, I'm, I'm looking forward to the conversation.

I was, I was catching on some of your material. You are a fellow podcaster and honestly, you guys are my favorite guest because the conversation just kind of work. Actually I get people on here Yeah. Who have their, they're authors and stuff like that and conversation's all awkward 'cause they just haven't have mastered the whole convo thing.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, totally.

Brent Dowlen: Uh,

Tony Berardo: yeah, dude,

Brent Dowlen: Tony, you already regaled us with a great dad story. 'cause I think every dad listening to this has been in that place. And if you haven't yet, if you haven't experienced that first delight, [00:07:00] it's coming. Yo, just, it's

Tony Berardo: get excited.

Brent Dowlen: It's not, if it's win, it's just one of those best things, right?

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Tony, how is it just the one daughter or do you have more kids?

Tony Berardo: Yeah, just, just one baby girl. She just turned two. So it's a, uh, it's a, it's a beautiful time. My wife always jokes saying that I, the world purposely gave me a girl 'cause I needed to calm down. So I'll, if we do ever have a kid, I'm sure it's gonna be another girl.

'cause that's just the end of her. Teach me a lesson for sure.

Brent Dowlen: Well, you know what's really funny is I actually read an article the other day that blew my mind. I, I never seen this research before. But it turns out like the majority of special forces guys have daughters.

Tony Berardo: I did. Yeah. I remember seeing something like that.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. Among the, among the teams, it's it's daughters and it turns out that higher testosterone men in more [00:08:00] combative, protective kind of, uh. Professions seem to have daughters more often.

Tony Berardo: Ooh, I like that answer. I'm good with that.

Brent Dowlen: Right. So, right. I, I'm, I'm, I have two daughters myself, so I'm like, yeah,

Tony Berardo: there you go.

That's, that's why. Yeah. So you obviously were reading that article quite biasedly, I mean

Brent Dowlen: Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Tony Berardo: You're like, even if this isn't true, I'm taking it as a hundred percent factual.

Brent Dowlen: Oh, yeah, yeah. As a, as a girl dad, and my brother has three daughters. Right.

Tony Berardo: There you go.

Brent Dowlen: And my other brother, all of us drugs, military, all have daughters, so I love it.

Bias girl, dad, to the max. I was like, yeah.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: That's it. That's it right there. We're, we're gonna take that

Tony Berardo: one. Well, and I, I think about this a lot too. I think about this a lot being a, a girl dad, because, you know, a lot of times we want to, um, you know, raise our girls to like, handle men and to, you know, show them what you know.

A real man is, and I think it's like [00:09:00] showing them what they deserve, like teaching them the love and showing them the love that we give them is really like, that's what you deserve.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah.

Tony Berardo: That's not what you're looking for. That's what you deserve. And I think if we could set that bar really high, it's a huge responsibility because I think that's how we're gonna raise better humans as a whole.

'cause if you can raise a daughter. To get the best man or woman, whatever, but to find that love out there, I think that's how we're gonna create better marriages and better, better humans as a whole. So it's a big responsibility and I'm, I'm super excited about it.

Brent Dowlen: I call it my Superman theory. My theory is my job as a father is to be the most ridiculously close to Superman as possible.

I wanna be able to do everything. I wanna raise my physical health, my emotional health, my mental health. I wanna be there for them. But I also, like, I cook with my daughters. I teach them to cook because I cook, right? I was raised, I cook, I sew, I do [00:10:00] all that stuff. So I was, I teach my daughters that kind of stuff, right?

My idea is to raise the bar so high on how they expect to be treated.

Tony Berardo: Hmm.

Brent Dowlen: But by default, the worst guy they bring home, they're gonna have such high expectations is gonna be pretty good.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, that's,

Brent Dowlen: that's my theory, right?

Tony Berardo: I like it. I like it.

Brent Dowlen: It's all in your court. Dads like, really? You, you set the expectation

Tony Berardo: for real

Brent Dowlen: and will set.

So I gotta ask it is the dad hat show, so.

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: Tell us for our listeners who aren't watching the YouTube version. Tell us about your hat.

Tony Berardo: Oh, so this is, uh, our, our staple. So I own a dad apparel brand as well. It's called Human Dad. And, um, I, I put it together pretty much right when she was born. I had the idea as we found out we were pregnant.

But, um, it's, uh, a company that we just started about six months ago. But I've been working on the designing and the website and kind of what the apparel would look like and the whole, um. Brand guidelines and kind of our [00:11:00] message and, and everything like that. And ultimately it comes down to just community first and apparel second.

So we realize as dads that it's chaotic, it's messy, and, but we're all dealing with the same thing and we're all human. And I think, uh, it's a good representation of. When you wear the caps or when you wear, you know, our, our shirts or our tanks, you kind of, you get the feeling that you're part of a community of guys that aren't perfect.

You know, we don't pretend like we have our shit together 'cause no one does. And it's not about being perfect, it's just about showing up and, and that's the meaning behind human dads. So I try to rock these as much as I possibly can and I'm a huge hack guy, so it's, uh. It's good that I'm on your podcast because I, I love hats so it works out well.

Brent Dowlen: Well you wanna print pimp that brand? 'cause I'm all about dad stuff. So guys, I'll make sure there's a link down in the show notes where you guys can find human dad, right?

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Make sure, and we even have a. We have a gnarly Girl Dad line. Yeah. Which is, yeah, you'd appreciate, [00:12:00] I just launched one that is inspired by Fight Club.

So like if you watch Fight Club with Brad Pitt and Edward, nor they, uh, they have eight rules of fight club.

Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: So I, I designed eight rules to being a girl dad. So that's on the back of the shirt. So that's, that's a lot of fun. That's pretty cool.

Brent Dowlen: Oh see, now I'm gonna have to go check that out after we get off here.

I got, I gotta check that.

Tony Berardo: I'd love to get your opinion 'cause I think it's pretty accurate. And as a girl dad, I think you'll relate with every single one of those for sure.

Brent Dowlen: I, I love Fight Club anyway, so. Yeah.

Tony Berardo: Oh, nice. Yeah,

Brent Dowlen: I, how can, let me, let me ask, I. Don't take this wrong way. How old are you? Just outta curiosity.

Tony Berardo: Oh, I just turned, uh, 40.

Brent Dowlen: Okay. So you're not too far behind me. I'm, I'm about to turn 46. Um,

Tony Berardo: oh, right on.

Brent Dowlen: So

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: I, I just, I like, you can tell a lot about people by some of the things, like some of the movie tastes they have and stuff like that, so I'm always curious.

Tony Berardo: Oh, for sure. Curious.

Brent Dowlen: You can't be close to this age group and not, and a guy and not like fight club.

Tony Berardo: Ah, I know. 'cause every single guy wanted to be Brad Pitt,

Brent Dowlen: right? [00:13:00]

Tony Berardo: There's no question that every single, I don't know why guy wanted that body. Oh, I know he's

Brent Dowlen: not.

Tony Berardo: Because his body was like ridiculous. And it was like, what do I, what do I have to shove in my face or put on my butt that gets me that body because I'll do it Like whatever it was.

I think if you released like a PDF file and said, Hey man, do these steps. I think every guy would do it. Like why not? But

Brent Dowlen: see, I think there was more to it. It wasn't just the body. It wasn't just doctors. No. He had a charisma about him. Right.

Tony Berardo: Oh, for sure. You mean like Tyler Durden, like the actual character?

Brent Dowlen: Yeah, like the character had this charisma to him that all of us were like, God, I wanna be that cool.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then by the end of it you're like, God, I wish I had two personalities. 'cause these guys are awesome

Brent Dowlen: spoilers. Right? Yeah. That was, that was one of the best twists they'd had done in a long time in a movie.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Still one of my favorite songs is The Pixies. You know, the favorite band is The Pixies. Where's my Mind? At the end when the buildings collapse. [00:14:00] Yep. Oh,

Brent Dowlen: oh yeah.

Tony Berardo: Culture.

Brent Dowlen: I actually just rewatched that the other day 'cause I did a a episode on my other show. Um,

Tony Berardo: nice.

Brent Dowlen: Where I actually was talking to another men's coach and I asked him about that speech that Brad Pitt makes about, you know, the, the

Tony Berardo: materialistic things and

Brent Dowlen: Yeah.

Right. We're men without war, blah, blah, blah. I was like, why do you really think so? I, since I pulled that speech, I was like, okay, now I gotta rewatch it. 'cause, 'cause

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: it's just fight club, right.

Tony Berardo: There's no bad time to rewatch that. Yeah,

Brent Dowlen: Tony.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Let me ask you.

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: You are a young enough dad. When you found out you were gonna be a father, everybody and their dog probably had an opinion.

Did you actually receive a single good piece of information? No.

Tony Berardo: No. No. 'cause it's, it is funny. I mean, I, I don't know if it's good or not, but the most information I got was always pessimistic. I don't know if you can [00:15:00] relate, but everyone, everyone, the advice if you wanna call it that was always like, you better get some sleep now 'cause you're not gonna get it later.

Or like, you know, uh, well, you better, you know, uh, start drinking as much as you can because you won't have time to drink. Like, things like that where it's like, that's not really advice, you know, it's you better party now because you're not gonna like whatever. Okay. And then I'd love to, like, that's why every time someone asks me for parent advice, I always give them the opposite.

Like, I'm always like, just. Do whatever you want. It's all trial and error. You're gonna make mistakes. Embrace the suck. You're gonna love it. There's so many pros that outweigh the cons. You're gonna forget about the cons the second they happen. You know, like it's, that's the advice I give. But yeah, no one gave me good advice or usable advice, I should say.

Everyone was trying to give it advice, but it wasn't. Was it usable? You

Brent Dowlen: know, who was it? I was just having a conversation with someone recently about like that that is all the [00:16:00] advice they got too. It was just like,

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: this really's weird, negative. He was like, everybody makes being to dad sound horrible and no one talks about the good stuff.

Tony Berardo: That's right. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: I don't get it. Like I, I super love being a dad.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: It's my favorite thing in the world. Yeah, so I don't get it.

Tony Berardo: And I, and I will say I didn't even like want to be a dad. I wasn't even on my bucket list, you know? Um, my wife is the one that kind of convinced me, and then we, we kinda had a gnarly journey.

I won't bore you with it, but it went, we went through like IUI and IVF and it was like a long, exhausting process. About three years it took us to conceive our kid. Um, and about a quarter million dollars. So nothing to sneeze at. Ouch. So it was very, yeah, it was very financially, emotionally and physical draining physically, mostly from my wife, obviously.

But, um, yeah, it was, uh, it was rough. And then, you know, during that time, obviously we're struggling right from our, I mean, you'd be lying if you say your marriage doesn't take a hit on that. Yeah. So it was like this weird, it was this weird thing where by the end of it I was like, dude, maybe we [00:17:00] just. Let not have a kid like this.

This is too much work. Like what if it never happens? We're gonna be extremely disappointed. And then the second it happened when we found out we were pregnant, I di it didn't really even hit me. I dunno if you could relate. It didn't really hit me. It was like I bawled like a baby, of course. But like throughout the ultrasounds and all that, I was of course amazed and it was, this is the most beautiful thing ever.

And I can't believe, but when she popped out, dude. I lost it. It was like this wave of goosebumps and love and just pure joy and emotion. Like everything that was kind of pent up, like your ego goes out the door, nothing else matters. You forget about everything. You would literally take a bullet for her right there.

Like it was just this weird feeling. And then ever since then, I just couldn't stop. Uh, it's just, it's my full personality now. Like, I love it so much. It's everything to me. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: It's one of those great things about the design of our [00:18:00] biology. Um

Tony Berardo: mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: You know, I, I'm a Christian, so I, I believe intelligent design.

I don't know where you stand on that. Yeah. But, you know, everybody has their thoughts on it, but really, like there is a, this biological connection that happens for a dad.

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: Um, yeah. And the more I find out about it, like the more I'm, I'm utterly amazed, like the, the patch on the top of their head is actually has a set of pheromones to it.

Mm-hmm. That identifies it as your child.

Tony Berardo: Yeah,

Brent Dowlen: like there's a biological imperative. You sniff that baby's head and go, this is mine. Like mm-hmm. Your brain connects, this is my child.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: The minute you smell, smell that patch and then all that kicks in and you feel like con in and you're like, roar, I can take on anything.

Screw you all.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Yeah. Well, even the, uh, the crazy thing with, you know, if, if the baby's sick and the second her lips. Touch the mother's breast from breastfeeding. The mom's [00:19:00] body knows what, you know, if it's more vitamin D that it needs, or C, whatever. Mm-hmm. It produces based off of what the baby needs.

Freaking crazy. And there's so many glands that are, and that are in that, uh. That woman, it's, it's so fascinating what they can actually do. And, um, I, I don't even think we fully know everything yet, like from that standpoint. Yeah. It's just so wild that they're learning new things every day and we're, we're figuring out how to be better parents all the time.

And it is just this weird thing, like from a biological standpoint where you look at any other species on the planet. No one else can do what we can do. It's uh, it is crazy. And, you know, I'm, I'm happy to get into like the religious thing with you 'cause I think it's a fascinating, um, conversation. But I mean, Mia I don't really identify as anything in particular.

I, I think it's, uh, it's way too magical and, and beautiful. [00:20:00] Uh, to not be something bigger than us.

Brent Dowlen: Right.

Tony Berardo: You know, I just, I, I don't know what that is. So I lean more towards, like, agnostic than anything.

Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: Um, but I, I've had multiple, uh, Christians and, uh, and religious and spiritual, like even have a monk on my podcast a few weeks ago, and we talked more of the spiritual aspect of everything.

Um. So I, I just think that it is something, I just don't know what it is yet, and I'm, I'm fascinated to learn about it and to talk about it, but I just, I, I can't see myself set on one specific thing yet anyway. I don't know, you know, I'm still young, so we'll see.

Brent Dowlen: You know, every, everybody grows and moves at their own pace of what is moving in their life, right?

Yeah. Even if I wasn't, like, so I was raised in a church, but, uh, even if I wasn't right, I don't think you can experience that. For lack of a better term, magic that happens when you come become a father, because instantly you, you may not identify it as [00:21:00] one thing or another. You understand the world is bigger than you,

Tony Berardo: right?

Brent Dowlen: And there, there's something else going on. Whether you wanna put a name to it or not, you're like,

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: you're you. You get this weird perspective shift, you're like. Hmm. Maybe it's time to think beyond just me and what I want to do. Yeah. Right.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I think there's so many great values, uh, in, in most religions.

Not all, not all religions, but I, I think there's a lot of, a lot of great values that come from, you know, Christianity specifically to where even if you gather those values mm-hmm. And apply that to your daily life, there's gonna be no negative outcome to it. Um, brilliant. You know, the one thing I always kind of lean on is like, I don't know how many, I think there's like 3000 religions or something around the world, you know, so I don't, it's.

It's hard for me. I've always been pretty objective with my whole life. It's hard for me to say, you know, the 2,999 [00:22:00] religions are bullshit, but Christianity is right. Or, you know what I mean? Or mm-hmm. Catholicism is right, or, you know, so I've always been that type of one where I think it, it is out there and it's there for a reason.

And obviously we all had like one. Vision, whatever that was, thousands of years ago. And then maybe it trickled down and went to other cultures and it's changed and molded. It's like, you know, uh, an argument could be said about Santa Claus versus like the three Kings. Are you familiar with three Kings?

Yeah. And Spanish culture. So it's like, it's all one story probably.

Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: And then through cultures, it, it's like the telephone game. It all changes and, and doesn't. So I think at the very, very, very top, there's probably something. Uh, unfortunately, I don't think any of us are ever gonna find out, and I don't think there's, I don't think that's a bad thing.

I think it's a, a, a good thing, just like most things. I mean, you don't know a million dollars exists, but we all chase it,

Brent Dowlen: right?

Tony Berardo: So it's like, it's not a bad thing [00:23:00] that we're chasing that million dollars, just like it's not a bad thing that we're chasing God or a, a spiritual being. But I think if you just have the values and, and instill down.

You know, you're little humans. I think there's no negatives from that for sure.

Brent Dowlen: I think there's gonna be a lot of churches who are really surprised if there is a heaven. Right, right. Because I, I grew up in church where it's like, we are the one way. Everybody else is screwed, you know? Of

Tony Berardo: course.

Brent Dowlen: And I go to a church now and like a couple times a year.

We do it for sure once, but we try and do other things throughout the year, like we get together with mm-hmm. Most of the other churches in my town and we do stuff for the community and we come together and focus on the things we agree on and and just have some time together with other people who generally believe in God.

It is like,

Tony Berardo: yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. I think there's gonna be a lot of people who are like, oh. You're here too. Oh, and, and you're here too, right?

Tony Berardo: Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: We, we, we get there growing up on the little things.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. [00:24:00] I mean, I definitely, once I get, uh, you know, a little bit older and, um, you know, I have more time available.

I think I wanna get into like, things like DMT and Ayahuasca and stuff like that. 'cause I have a couple buddies that have done that and I've, they've talked at length about seeing some sort of spiritual. Entity when it comes to that. Um, and there's all types of fascinating things you can go down a rabbit hole of, like back in the day, quote unquote people that now, you know, that ended up writing the Bible through, uh, Jesus's words, right.

Uh, was like they ended up potentially having soups and wines and all these things in these bowls that were made with traces of DMT. Mm-hmm. And potentially they slipped into like this. This world, and then they had these visions, and then next thing you know, we're writing the Bible. So I think that's super fascinating too, where it's like, that's not farfetched.

You know? It's like there could be like a new dimension. Maybe that's heaven and hell, whatever. I mean, it's [00:25:00] something we don't see. Maybe it's something we're not capable of. And then I always think about like the rabbit hole of going down. And sorry if this is too like metaphor.

Brent Dowlen: No, you're fine.

Tony Berardo: Okay,

Brent Dowlen: you're fine.

Tony Berardo: But I always go, I always go down the rabbit hole thinking, especially now that my daughter's noticing like different animals and lizards and Ts and butterflies and centipedes. And I always think to myself like that Centipede has no idea what I am. That Centipede goes and lives, its life goes through the grass, worries about predators, doesn't know what they are, but he doesn't know what like a mortgage is.

Mike LIndell: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: So what if like we're the centipede to something else that's more powerful than us, but we just don't have the capability to. See it or understand it, you know, I mean, it's, it's far beyond earth and the universe and all that, but we just don't, we can't tap into that yet. So maybe the DMT trips and all these things that people talk about, maybe they're tapping into that.

So that to me is super fascinating. 'cause I think that would be the only thing that's gonna open up my eyes a little [00:26:00] bit more. 'cause I am, uh, uh, uh, brutally objective with everything, politics, religion, um, even parenting. I'm brutally, I'm always like, I'm gonna do the research first. You can't tell me what to do.

This is not the right way because my parents, God, love them, is giving me the best advice on the planet, but they haven't done a research in 40 years. So things have changed slightly. So it's like just because someone gives you advice, it's okay to say, Ooh, that's great, but just take a step back, be objective, um, and do your own research.

And that's kind of how I look at religion and politics and all that stuff. So I'm, uh. I'm very beetle headed when it comes to that stuff.

Brent Dowlen: See, I, I think about DMT and Ayahuasca and stuff like that. I hear about it. I've talked to people who do like mentations for other people and that stuff, and, and

Tony Berardo: yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Are are, have tried it several times and it's like, I'm, I'm I, I'm a chicken, I guess. 'cause yeah, like I, I look at it and I'm just like, I have seen way too many [00:27:00] fricking horror movies, Joe.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, for real. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: It's like, uh, you know, and, and I like the. I, so I, I love cheesy niners, nineties slasher reflects, uh, you know, nice age group, right?

I love the cheesy slash niners slasher reflect, but like I've seen way too many, like, you know, Freddie

Tony Berardo: Krueger,

Brent Dowlen: the Exorcist type things, right?

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Where they're dealing with the other realms and, and crap. It's like. Okay. You guys are all seeing something. I'm not sure I wanna know what you're seeing or open myself up to that or like I, I'm, I'm,

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: I'm, I'm that guy who would like, do it and like bring something back with me or something.

Right. Way too many cheesy You have

Tony Berardo: knocking on your doors constantly. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Some spirit following me around for the rest of my life. Killing me, people around me or something.

Tony Berardo: But at least you would have an answer. At least you'd be like, oh, okay. You know,

Brent Dowlen: see, I dunno that I want that answer. There is such thing as ignorance as bliss, right?

That is

Tony Berardo: true. That is true. Yeah. [00:28:00] Like

Brent Dowlen: most of, not in all things,

Tony Berardo: but yeah,

Brent Dowlen: there, there are. There's space for that.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. I like it.

Brent Dowlen: I'm sure I want all those answers. Sensors. Tony, what do you wanna dive into today? Let's talk about fatherhood.

Tony Berardo: Let's do it. Yeah, dude. A lot to talk about.

Brent Dowlen: Where do you wanna go?

Tony Berardo: Um, I, I'm, I'm mainly curious, like, uh, what's your, what's your thought process overall of, you know, um, dad's working and, uh, the stigma that I think we all fall under, which is you gotta work three jobs, you gotta support, you gotta pay for X, Y, Z. Um, meanwhile, you know, if you look at all the statistics. Men that are raised with no, fathers are more likely to be into drugs, prison, and just overall shitty behavior.

So then that tells me, okay, so if fathers are more in the picture, not saying mothers are irrelevant. [00:29:00] 'cause obviously they're, I think, more important than a father. But when it comes to like raising a human, I think there's certain things that a father can do, just like a mother that uh, you need both. You need both things.

And it's hard when we kind of are stuck in America on this like propaganda that we have to like gotta be the CEO and we gotta hustle and we gotta do this and we gotta do that. And you gotta buy this and buy that. It's like the answer's not childcare, right? Dropping your kid off with. A stranger for six to eight hours.

I mean, I don't know. Is it, I should that be, should that that be the right thing? But we embrace that more in America than

Brent Dowlen: mm-hmm

Tony Berardo: the latter, which is like most countries do, they spend time with families, families, everything. You know, look in places like Europe and Australia and all the stuff. I mean, I don't know where, where do you stand on all that stuff?

Brent Dowlen: It's interesting 'cause culturally you have right differences. Like, [00:30:00] uh, Japanese men don't spend a lot of time at home.

Tony Berardo: Right,

Brent Dowlen: right. They're, they're at work and my God, they die at work and stuff like that. Yeah. Because that, that work culture is insane.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Um, but yeah, it's interesting how it varies from area to area and country to to country.

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: You, you and I were talking before we started rolling, uh, about, you know, the playbook for Dads hasn't changed. In a hundred years, I, I'd venture a thousand years. Like they're our great, great, great, great, great grandparents. Were hearing the same crap we are.

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm.

Brent Dowlen: As fathers. That same script, that same, this is how you're a dad, you go and make money.

That's what you do. Right?

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: And it stems from a time when women weren't allowed to own property. Women weren't necessarily working outside the home, or if they were doing something, they were doing something community wise, a lot of times. And it was by default, the father's job to go out and make the money.

Right?

Tony Berardo: [00:31:00] Hmm.

Brent Dowlen: We also had this common misconception, conception that men were not capable of nurture.

Tony Berardo: Right.

Brent Dowlen: Or nourishment. Mm-hmm. Uh, in the life of a child, that was purely a feminine thing.

Tony Berardo: Right.

Brent Dowlen: So, you know, these are, there's these over overarching themes that have just sat there for years that we now know are wrong.

Tony Berardo: Right.

Brent Dowlen: And they're not correct. And I don't know that a mother is more important than a father. Um, I think they're equally important is a yin and yang thing.

Tony Berardo: And I only say that in case my wife listens to this.

Brent Dowlen: Oh. But yes. Okay. Well that's valid then. In case you're li listening, he said it, you are more important.

That's right. Uh, he he got it right. It's okay. Uh

Tony Berardo: oh. Good. You could stop listening now.

Brent Dowlen: No, I think it's very much a yin and yang thing. I think mothers fill a gap both physically, emotionally, and spiritually in a child's life.

Tony Berardo: No

Brent Dowlen: doubt. There are things that a father [00:32:00] does in those realms as well that a mother is not capable of.

Not because she couldn't do the same exact thing.

Tony Berardo: Right.

Brent Dowlen: But because the child's brain will not translate it the same way.

Tony Berardo: Correct. Right.

Brent Dowlen: That's

Tony Berardo: correct. Yeah. Uh,

Brent Dowlen: a father, a father has a way of.

When your mom tells you you did something right? I, I, I can laugh about this. So my mother lives with me. Um, my mother is 74. My father passed away a couple years ago. Uh, my mother lives with us and I always, like my mom was always supportive. I could count on a hundred percent, no question.

Mike LIndell: Mm.

Brent Dowlen: My mom was a thousand percent supportive of my life and so was my dad.

My mom telling me I could do something was like, well, of course you think I can. I'm your son, duh.

Tony Berardo: Mm.

Brent Dowlen: My father telling me I could do something meant I could actually do it.

Tony Berardo: Right,

Brent Dowlen: right. That's such a good point.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: A child's brain parses things and for some [00:33:00] reason we're hardwired where when mom says it is love, when dad says it's empowerment, and that's just one example, right.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Yeah. It's Hunter and gather, right? Um, well, depending on what you believe, obviously, right. From evolution, but, uh, yeah. I mean, yeah, a hundred percent. I think we're, we're kind of like always looked up. You know, to our father as the mentor, as the leader, as you know, teach me the ways so that way I can grow up and protect my family versus like, we, even as men wanna protect our mothers mm-hmm.

When we get older, right? Like, it's this, it's this weird thing that we have and that's probably just a male and female type of thing. Um, because the yin, yin, and yang makes a lot of sense, uh, because we kind of do need each other, you know? Yeah. There's, there's parts where I'm very emotionally. Capable of.

And then there's other stuff where I'm more like stoic and, you know, logical. Mm-hmm. Where my wife kind of picks up with the emotion thing. And you know, that's [00:34:00] where I think the challenge becomes, where if you have a single mother raising a child versus like a single father raising a child, both children do not have the best outcome.

You know, it's, it's not one or the other. I, I think you do need both. Um, not to say that, you know. Gay couples and, and you know, families that maybe aren't male and female can't necessarily raise, uh, children properly. Uh, 'cause I think we're in a very interesting time to where there is a lot of research and there's a lot of things out there, but, you know, from raising a human myself, just in the last two years and I'm pretty new to this thing, I could just say that it is very difficult and to like not have dad and mom mm-hmm.

Part of the equation. Mm-hmm. Dude, I got kudos. 'cause that is a hard fucking job, right? Just one of you. It is gnarly. I remember sometimes where like my wife has to go into the office. She works from home just like I do. But when she has to go into the office and I have to take care of the kid, my whole self, it's, don't get me wrong, I do it and it's [00:35:00] great and I love it.

But there's moments where it's like, woo, if it was like another hour. I don't know, dude. Like if she, like, if she called and say, I'm stuck in traffic. I'm gonna be another hour. I'm gonna be like, no, you need to get here now. You need to pull over and helicopter in. 'cause I cannot handle another hour.

Sometimes I feel that way. So it's, it's a challenge, man. It's not easy. Everyone that says like a stay-at-home mom, it's not a real job. Fuck you. You do not know what you're talking about.

Brent Dowlen: Oh yeah. '

Tony Berardo: cause it is a very difficult job.

Brent Dowlen: It's, it's interesting, right? Because you hear. And I'm gonna use a big word, and I'll probably use the word wrong, you hear idioms, right?

I think that's the term I wanna use, right?

Tony Berardo: Idioms, I think so.

Brent Dowlen: You hear, oh, she's got daddy issues, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. They got daddy issues, right? You hear that about boys, you hear that about girls. When was the last time you hear someone go, oh, they got mommy issues.

Tony Berardo: It's true.

Brent Dowlen: Right?

Tony Berardo: Doesn't happen a lot.

Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Or you know, on, on the other shoe, [00:36:00] right? You see a dad out doing something with their kid, maybe they're out grocery shopping or whatever, and people are like, falling over the miss. I was like, oh, what a great dad. He's out there being blah, blah. And it's like you see a mom struggling through this door with three kids and you're like.

The kids are acting out. You're like, can't she get it together? Blah, blah, blah. Right.

Tony Berardo: So true. Oh my God.

Brent Dowlen: Assholes. When it comes to that kind of stuff, right? Yeah. I'm not doing something special and above because my kids are at the store with me. I'm being a dad. Right. Period. It's not more, I'm not doing something special because I took my kids to the store with me.

I'm a dad. My kids go with me to things. Right?

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm. That's right.

Brent Dowlen: But we lot, we're like, oh, oh, what a great dad. He's doing that, right? Yeah. So we have these really weird concepts in society.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Yeah. I've noticed that. I've noticed that too as well. 'cause when I take my daughter someplace, they're like, oh my God, you're such a great father.

You're doing this, you're doing that. Right. And I'm like, and I think [00:37:00] that goes back to what we talked about before, which is like the propaganda that we're fed. Where dads normally aren't. Mm-hmm. Doing that. Like, you know, I could, I could tell even though my father was a great dad and still is, I, I could probably venture to guess, I don't know if I'll ever admit it, but I definitely spent more time with my daughter than he spent with me.

Not for lack of not him wanting to, but just, you know, he worked three jobs, you know, he wasn't able to, um, even though he did his fair share of like taking shifts and, you know, he would be with me a half a day when my mom was out working. So they traded shifts. Um, but yeah. You know, nowadays it's like, oh my, you're a dad.

That shows up. Amazing. But really it's like, you should do that to the mom too. Mm-hmm. You know, you should do it. I mean, if you're gonna say anything, you should be excited about one parent that's doing a lot of work, because, I mean, even when we see other parents with one child and they're struggling and it's just like one mom or one dad.

You gotta give 'em kudos. You go up and say, Hey, you [00:38:00] okay? You need some help? Mm-hmm. You need help lifting the stroll up to the trunk. I mean, there's, there's a, there's a lot of moving parts when it comes to having a kid solo. And I think, you know, moms and dads need some recognition. 'cause sometimes that goes a long way.

You know, if you're having a rough day and someone says, Hey man, you're doing a great job bud. That goes a long way.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. We gotta, we gotta change our script on some things. Um, I don't think there's any, so like you work from home, right? Yeah. And we were talking about you, you mentioned that earlier of, you know, the idea of dad has to be out doing this or,

Tony Berardo: that's right.

Brent Dowlen: I've, I've caught a lot of flack being at home the last couple years, um, working from home and it really, I don't think the at home thing is. As big of an issue, especially this side of COVID. Right,

Tony Berardo: right.

Brent Dowlen: This a a lot of people who had never worked from home before, came home and started working from home and, and so societally it became more and more accepted.

That's right. Uh, although we're seeing the call back now, more and more people getting pulled back to [00:39:00] the office. Which is, oh, but

Tony Berardo: yeah. Done. Hate that.

Brent Dowlen: Don't miss that. Yeah. Um, I, I went to the office for years and years and years and I don't miss it at all. Uh, but it, I think the real, where you get into it is where you're not making as much as people think you should.

Tony Berardo: That's a big one. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Right. That's a big

Tony Berardo: one.

Brent Dowlen: And guys beat themselves up worse than even women. Like my wife is, I, I have a lot of gratitude 'cause my father-in-law was an entrepreneur before it was a popular term.

Mike LIndell: Right.

Brent Dowlen: Um, my wife grew up in both times when they had more and times when they were scraping by.

Right. 'cause my father-in-law had like four different businesses over her lifetime. Um. Crazy. And yeah, so like I was not into entrepreneurship until later in my life, and [00:40:00] so my wife has been better on this journey than some women might have been because she had that point of reference with her dad.

Right?

Tony Berardo: Right.

Brent Dowlen: Dad didn't work a standard job. Dad worked at Sass off, but he didn't work a standard job. He did his thing. He had this business. Sure there was good and there was bad. Uh,

Tony Berardo: of course

Brent Dowlen: always. So that was a huge blessing. So as we've been trying to get things launched with my company and what we do here and the income has gone up and down, uh, I got de platformed last year.

2024 was a rough year. I got de platformed and went from a top 1% podcast to starting over. Uh,

Tony Berardo: crazy. That

Brent Dowlen: sucks. And that, I mean, that rocked. We still have not financially recovered from that. Um, that sucks.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: And so there's a lot of Right. I, I've definitely got some judgment come my way as I haven't of course, just gone back to working.

Right. I'm still trying to rebuild [00:41:00] and it's not incredibly from my wife, as my wife has taken on some side jobs as my wife has taken on some part-time work. I've also picked up some of the stuff at the house, right. I've done more cooking and cleaning since I am working from home. And so yeah, you definitely get that judgemental, of course.

But I think it all has to do with numbers.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. And I think that's a, that's a, uh, an important observation that people need to take a look at to where. You know, that's the key to a great marriage. I think, you know, one, one person, uh, drops and the other person tries to lift them up, you know, and, and vice versa.

And that's how it's gonna happen, you know, throughout your. Decades of a healthy marriage. Um, and that, that happened in myself as well. I mean, I got laid off a, a couple times during the pandemic due to, you know, budget cuts and companies going outta business and shit like that. So thankfully I was good at real estate.

So we had some property and, um. We were able to sell that right before, uh, that this big crash that happened the last couple years. So we were able to make some, some [00:42:00] good money where I had a nice little blanket until I figured out what I wanted to do. And thankfully I figured it out. I've always had that entrepreneur mentality anyway.

But my wife, you know, she, she powered through, she supported it 'cause she knew what time it was. And even before this. That happened to her as well, where she was switching jobs and six months went by, she was unemployed. I was working more at my other job, you know, so this is just a key to a good marriage going back and forth.

And I think to your credit, yeah, you, you gotta pick up the slack and you gotta do it. But also I think a lot of us men need to understand that, uh, we're in a very, very cool time technologically, and there's a lot of things that are better than doing the dishes. But you gotta quit being a pussy and you gotta do, you gotta do some shit.

The house, you know, you got, you gotta change the diapers, right? You have, like I talked to so many dads, specifically friends that I've known for decades. And their parents of two and three. And I, you know, I hear from my [00:43:00] wife 'cause they obviously, the wives talk. The guys talk and the guys are like, yeah dude, I do this and I fucking do this.

And I do. I'm like, okay. And then my wife tells me, you know, can you believe that he doesn't do the dishes and he doesn't change diapers? I'm like, what? Oh, he doesn't. Oh, so he lied to me. Oh, okay. Because you know the mom, you know, the mom's telling the truth For sure.

Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: Guys always talk shit and we don't, we lie to each other, you know, we, we talk a big game.

Um, and that to me is super fascinating because like, you would rather work than do things for your wife and be around your kid. And I think this is the big ni misnomer, right, when it comes to dads, is we kind of use it as an excuse. Because we're dads and we gotta, we gotta step out the house and we gotta have beer with our friends because we gotta keep our, our friendships up.

You know, I had a long day, you know, at work, so 5:00 PM I gotta, I gotta, you know, drink some beer because I, I work hard, but really, it's like, no, dude, like your wife worked hard too at home. You know, [00:44:00] like it's a pick up the slack, it's cool. Like you, you're a dad now. You drink with your buddies. That's over.

Sorry. '

Brent Dowlen: cause see now the secret's working from home. 'cause then I can day drink while I work.

Tony Berardo: That is the secret. Preach bro. Preach. But you know, that's, that's, I think what we gotta focus on as dads is we just gotta be better. We gotta be better dads. And um, you know, a lot of people don't take this parent thing seriously, but me because we went through that whole journey.

Like me, I've done. Way too much research and I've focused way too much time into like trying to be perfect, even though no one's gonna be perfect. But like when I see other parents that just pop at a kid on accident and they're like, eh, we're just gonna. We'll throw 'em in childcare, we'll figure it out.

No big deal. It's like, dude, do you If that's how you wanna parent. But me, I'm like, this is such a big deal. Like this is not, you know, trading stocks or switching your [00:45:00] job because you turn 25 and you wanna take it serious. This is raising some, some thing that doesn't know what to do and you're trying to raise it.

To this 18-year-old that knows how to handle this insane, wild, shitty world that we live in. Like you need to really take it seriously. 'cause it's a big deal. It's a big deal.

Brent Dowlen: You know, there's this, this really masculine trait that people get every now and then. A lot of guys struggle with this, right? And it is that attitude of, well I can do it better, right?

Tony Berardo: Mm-hmm

Brent Dowlen: Sure. A lot of, a lot of those men really get into that. I can do it better. I am so much that way about my kids, right. That I can't actually imagine somebody else raising them, like putting them into daycare or something like that.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: I'm like, no, y'all will fuck it up.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: You cannot do this better than I can.

I will raise my children because I'm their dad and I will do it a whole lot better than you will.

Tony Berardo: [00:46:00] Yeah. Good for you, dude.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah, and, and so I think we can play on that as men, right? Yeah. We can speak to other men on that and go, Hey, you really trust somebody to do this other than you

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Your kid.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Well, you know what most men say is they're like, well, how am I supposed to, how am I supposed to do that because I gotta work? And how I always tell them is like, how much does daycare cost you? Three, 400 bucks a week. Okay. That's like 30 to 40 grand a year. So just don't work. You're saving 40 grand a year.

Mike LIndell: Oh, yeah.

Tony Berardo: You know what I mean? Like that's an income. And a lot of people are like, what? What if, what if I wanna go back to work and like, try climb up the corporate ladder? Okay. So do it when you're 40 or don't, who cares? It's 2025. Like this is a, it's a new world we live in where you could be a freelancer and go on Fiverr and Upwork and make.

Thousands of dollars a month. I have a whole YouTube series on how dads can actually make money from home. And the [00:47:00] fact that people just want to stay working nine to five, that's a choice. And if that's your choice, that's, that's totally cool. But when your kid is like 10 and doesn't like you. Don't be mad at the kid when you, you know, see 'em for only two hours a day.

Because when they get home from daycare, you have dinner with 'em and that's it. Like, there's some key moments. I mean, I was even talking to a, um, a specialist on my podcast last week and she was talking about, she's an author of children's books and she was talking about technology and how like kids are being raised now and she's like, really?

You should not think about childcare until the kids at least three or four. Because these first four years are so important from like cognitively and just overall brain development where you do not want them to be, to have that toxic. Whatever, whatever that is. You don't want any toxic traits from other kids.

From other humans raising them, you know? [00:48:00] And, you know, contrary to popular belief, childcare and teachers, they do not make money. So, you know, it's like, is is your service at McDonald's gonna be the best? No, because they make $15 an hour. Like if the childcare, you know, professionals and teachers, if they got paid a little bit more, I might be a little bit more open-minded to it.

But you can't expect someone to be like the best teacher. When they only make 40 grand a year, they're not gonna be the best. I mean, there's some people that are really passionate about it and maybe they don't do it for the money, they do it for teaching. But that's few and far between. You know, it's you, you, you gotta really be realistic with the stuff.

And I think we value corporate America so much and like climbing up that ladder when at the end of the day, if you meet your maker, you're gonna meet 'em the same way that you came in this planet. And that is $0 in your pocket. So. What's the point? Why are you working your ass off so much?

Brent Dowlen: You know, one of the things, one of the advantages I had to grow up, you know, my dad was a minister [00:49:00] and, uh, I, so I attended Oh, so

Tony Berardo: you legit were raised in a church?

Like Yeah, for sure.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. Like legit.

Tony Berardo: Did your, did your mother give birth to you in

Brent Dowlen: No, no. Not in the church, in holy water. I lived in, I lived in a preacher's house a lot. Um,

Tony Berardo: that's cool. That's cool.

Brent Dowlen: But I went to a lot of

Tony Berardo: funerals. Am I cursing way too much, by the way? No, I just realized. Okay.

Brent Dowlen: Okay. No, you're fine.

I, I don't fucking care. Okay. We're okay. Um, no, I, I went to a lot of funerals, uh, when I was younger, and one of the benefits of that, um, was I got to see the end for a lot of people.

Tony Berardo: Hmm.

Brent Dowlen: And so I had the benefit at a very young age, and, and some people would think it was creepy, right? But I, I, I was fascinated by people and watching people gather around and, and I've been to funerals where there were more people than you could fit in a building.[00:50:00]

Right?

Tony Berardo: Wow.

Brent Dowlen: That's crazy. My, my grandfather's funeral. Took place at a church building that seats I think 600 people and it was standing room only. I've been to funerals where my dad and the immediate family were the only people there, and that's crazy. What I found out at a graveside at a very young age and is really informed, my life is the, at the end.

The stuff people talk about as they're dying. The stuff people say at a graveside.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: 99% of the crap we all worry about doesn't mean shit.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: No one cares. Nobody remembers. They don't care. If you were the CEO and you made millions of dollars a year are if you. We a plumber and I can't say and made very little money 'cause I know plumbers and they get paid well.[00:51:00]

Sure.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Right. It's a good trade. Um, yeah, I don't wanna do it 'cause I don't, I don't miss crawling under houses. I did that when I was younger. It's a solid trade. Um,

Tony Berardo: yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Nobody cares if you were the CEO or if you were a guy punching a clock somewhere, building houses or whatever. They care. The people around you care about the memories you made with them.

The impression you left on them. And so I don't know how we got twisted up, right? We, we talked about it earlier. Yeah, about these misunderstandings and the way the world looks at like parenting roles and stuff like that. I don't know what point we actually got sold the bill of goods that said the name plate on our desk defines our value in what really matters.

Tony Berardo: Yeah,

Brent Dowlen: right. The same way that somehow women got sold the Bill of Goods, that it was more empowering to go [00:52:00] be a high powered executive than to raise your own children.

Tony Berardo: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: I don't know how we convinced women to that at some point.

Tony Berardo: Money, dude. But yeah, dude. No, we. Money is the root of all evil. I think that was the big thing is like when all this, when we knew that you can make six figures and you could buy the, the big house and the nice car and, and all that.

I think the Gucci bags and the influencers, you know, of the world kind of convinced women that hey, be independent. You could buy a lot of shit and you'll be happy that way. Uh, which really, I mean, you know, two each their own. But I think if you talk to a lot of mothers. They'd say, uh, that's incorrect. You know?

But I, I think when you don't have kids, of course you think the grass is greener, right? And, uh, but when you have kids, it changes you and I, I, there's no way to describe it properly. It's just once you have kids, that's it. You know that this is the right way. [00:53:00] Like the, the way is not being independent single and buying the Maserati in the nice house like that is not the way you might think it's the way, but it ain't, it's not your purpose.

Brent Dowlen: I left, I saw a Hollywood actor, uh, I, I won't name names, but I saw one of the Hollywood actors, he's like in his fifties or something, and he was like, kid free and living my best life. I'm not gonna apologize for not having kids, man. I'm living my best life and I don't need them to slow me down. I was like, yeah, it's 'cause you've never experienced it.

'cause once you do, you're like, yeah, I was stupid.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Seth Rogan? Is that who it was?

Brent Dowlen: No, it, it wasn't Seth Rogan, but, uh, I don't,

Tony Berardo: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: I'm not even a hundred percent sure. I remember. I just remember reading it, thinking,

Tony Berardo: yeah. Well, 'cause I know Seth Rogan on, sorry

Brent Dowlen: for you.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. Seth Rogan was on a podcast and, and he was asked, do you have any desire?

I have kids. And he goes, well, I like my life. So, no. And, uh, of course you like your life. A, you're Seth Rogan, so it's not bad. But B, your life might be better. You know, [00:54:00] you, you don't know. And I guess the, the opposite could be true as well, right? Like, would I be better being like George Clooney and like living in Italy and, you know, having a, a long history of beautiful women that I've slept with and, you know, not have a bunch of kids maybe, I guess we'll never know, but you know, I could just tell that if everyone on the planet decided not to have kids, our species would end pretty quickly.

Brent Dowlen: Well, we're already at a bad spot for that anyways.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, true.

Brent Dowlen: Not having kids has become such a trend among certain age groups at this point that actually, like we are, we're actually facing a population crisis in several major countries in the world at this point.

Tony Berardo: Yeah. I mean, even countries like, you know, Italy and other places are giving out these incentives to try to get their population up because everyone left.

So, yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Yep. And the younger generations aren't having the kids.

Tony Berardo: Well, and also, I mean, it is expensive. I mean, I, I get where people are coming from, but I think this is the, uh, [00:55:00] the funny thing that people don't look at life as like more logical. Um, 'cause it is quite, it is quite black and white. It's very binary life.

Mm-hmm. It's quite simple, but I think we overcomplicate it with things. And I think if you take out a lot of things in your life. You don't have the need for a lot of money, you know? And we're always like, oh, kids are so expensive. Well, yeah, if you have a $3,000 house when it's just you and one other person and you have five bedrooms, why?

So your AC bill could be $400 a month and your mortgage could be $3,500 a month. And like why? Just get a nice little studio or get a small house, get a town home, get something in the village. You don't have to live in New York City. You don't have to live in la. You don't have to live in these expensive places.

But I think, again, we're just fed all this nonsense and we think we deserve nay. We think we want these like crazy materialistic lives. [00:56:00] When you talk to people that have all that shit, they're also unhappy. So we know that the X factor of having a good life is not things. Mm-hmm. I don't know what that is.

I don't know, but I know it's not things I know that. So get rid of the things. Stop buying Starbucks every day. Save money and you'll have more than enough money for kids. 'cause the cool thing with kids is by the time you have the baby shower and their birthday and all that shit, you don't really pay for a lot of stuff.

It's really food. But yeah, diapers, the first couple years, diapers and diapers, that's a big expense. I was kind of, I was kind of proud of myself because I, I told my dad, I made a, I was like, you can either buy X, Y, Z for baby shower, or you can just give us a year. Supply of diapers and that helped us a lot.

Right. And again, this is like where it goes back to, I cared more about that stuff than like, I want my daughter to have toys and yada, like kids the first three years they're happy with cardboard boxes.

Brent Dowlen: Mm-hmm.

Tony Berardo: Okay. It's, this is not, you don't have to be expensive. Take 'em outside. There you go. There's a lot of fun.

You know what I mean? [00:57:00] Like, it's the, um, the oversimplification of this is, is fascinating how people take it to an extreme where they're like, oh, I can't afford. $7 a month worth of groceries. I was like, how much do you think a kid eats? I have issues having my kid eat their food. Like they spit it out.

They don't even, you know what I mean? Like, they don't eat as much as you think and the first year they're probably, you know, drinking breast milk. So it's like, come on guys. It's, it's not as bad as you think. You just gotta stop buying stuff. That's all.

Brent Dowlen: Tony, I think we keep this conversation going for another couple hours, but we gotta land the plane, so

Tony Berardo: probably.

Brent Dowlen: Tell us a little bit about humanity hashtags and where people can find you.

Tony Berardo: Yeah, dude. So, uh, you could find everything at the Berardo. So, uh, duh. And then my last name, B-E-R-E-R-D-O. And, uh, it's on my website, the bardo.com. Uh, you could find my podcast there, or Humanity and hashtags. It's where Life meets Algorithm.

So I talk about everything from, you know, wellness, uh, [00:58:00] parenting, uh, social media, the creator economy, podcasting. So I kind of get into how life. It's correlating with social media and, um, and how we are trying to coexist. So, uh, but that's been a lot of fun. And then of course I got, you know, human dad apparel, uh, which is kind of connected to everything.

And, uh, yeah, just follow me for dad tips and hacks and stoic objective kind of wild and sometimes stupid videos, but it's, it's, it's fun.

Brent Dowlen: Tony, we covered a lot today in the show. If our listeners heard nothing else, what do you want them to hear? Last?

Tony Berardo: Enjoy the passage of time.

Brent Dowlen: Fair enough, guys, for Tony and myself, thanks for joining us today on the Dad Hat Shenanigans News podcast, just a community of dads navigating life's challenges together. Until next time, laugh, learn, and live [00:59:00] the dad life.