Silly Sounds and Bedtime Songs The Art of Joyful Parenting

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] What if the best pairing advice you ever got didn’t come from a book, but from a dad who got peed on it at the changing table. You see, every dad has that one moment that rite of passage tells you, yep, I am really in it now from Surprise Diaper fails to starting a goofy variety show with his daughter during lockdown.

Craig Parks isn’t exactly your average dad. He’s the kind of father who turns chaos into connection, which I’m pretty sure all of his dads could use, but. It’s not his background in music or running camps that makes Craig’s story so powerful. It’s how he teaches everyday dads that you don’t need to be a super quote unquote creative kind of person to connect deeply with your kids.

You just need to be willing to do the work. Check out Craig’s favorite dad story and then we’re gonna jump in with our sponsors for two minutes and then we’ll jump into the rest of the episode. And guys, you don’t wanna mess this episode ’cause this episode is equal parts encouragement. Practical Parenting wisdom and a call, the presence for modern [00:01:00] Fathers.

Let’s get into it. Alright, Craig, every dad has that story that just, it makes you feel good and, and every dad gets it. It doesn’t matter what kind of story it is. So what is that smile on your face story that you like to tell?

Criag Parks: Alright, so this happened a while ago. I have two kids. I’ve got a 21-year-old son and I’ve got a 10-year-old daughter.

And, um, I think there’s that moment in a dad’s life when you realize, oh, this is a rite of passage. I’m definitely there. I’m in parenthood now. And, uh, when my boy was, was super young and he was on the changing table, um, I remember like. I went, I went to go get something, you know, like, I don’t know, like a diaper or something like down there.

And all of a sudden I feel like this like warm, like wet stuff on my neck. And I’m like, what the, what I, what? What? I turn around and there’s this like beautiful arc of urine emanating from his little penis and I’m like, whoa. And I’m like going to put my hand to cover it. I’m like, [00:02:00] wow, I just got peed on by my boy and like I’m a dad now.

You know? And the lesson learned, like, cover that thing up if you need to go get anything.

D Brent Dowlen: You kidding? I started getting P PTPs. Have you seen those? What’s that? Have you ever seen a p It’s, it’s literally like pre-made package and they’re these little material cones that look like a, a classical oil filter you can put over your kid.

It’s called A-P-P-T-P. I literally started giving those as gifts for people.

Criag Parks: Oh, that’s awesome. I don’t know if they had those around 20 years ago.

D Brent Dowlen: Right? I don’t know if they did 20 years ago, but yeah, like that’s, that’s become, uh, my, uh, my good friend had a son at I’d be over, and the first time I saw that I was like, huh, yeah, you, you need something for that.

He’s like, right, you think they make something? So I looked it up and I found that they actually made stuff for it. I was like, woo hoo. There you go. So now I, I give them to people as gifts ’cause I think it’s funny,

Criag Parks: but [00:03:00] that’s awesome. Yeah. I definitely could have used it.

D Brent Dowlen: Right? I, I think you’re right.

That’s an absolute rite of passage. I, I have two girls and uh, guys out there listening. If you’re expecting, don’t underestimate. ’cause trust me, it will happen even with a girl. You’re, you’re, you’re getting peed on as a dad.

Criag Parks: This is like such an amazing public service announcement. This podcast so far, you know, we’re only just a couple minutes in.

D Brent Dowlen: This is important. Like this is important info. They don’t, they need to tell you as a father when you’re preparing, ’cause Yeah, I’m always amazed. You know what, what surprises people?

Criag Parks: Yeah. Yeah. I gotta tell you, like when, when we were expecting with, with my son, you know, I was playing racquetball at the time and there was these like round robins and a lot of locals, and I ended up like, you know, telling this one guy, I was like, Hey, you know, I’m about to become a dad.

And he’s like, Hey, listen, I want to tell you something that nobody told me. I’m like, yeah, [00:04:00] what? What is it? He’s like, okay, listen up. When your kid is actually born, the moment they’re born, there’s a good chance. They’re going to be purple. He’s like, and, and nobody told me this. And so my kid was purple and, and I freaked out.

Like, and if that happens for you, I just want you to be prepared. And so, boom, my son is born and he comes out purple and I did not freak out. And I gotta tell you something, I would’ve completely freaked out if that dad had not told me that. I’m like, man, the more US dads can just share with each other, like.

These kinds of things so that we don’t have to like learn the hard way. That’s a, that’s a beautiful thing,

D Brent Dowlen: right? All the, all the things they don’t tell you. I, I’ve done a couple episodes on my other show about all the things they don’t, that you actually really need to know for the expectant data as one popular episodes.

We have a whole lot of things like that and like, uh, you don’t need all that fancy crap. They keep trying to sell you. Really, it’s, [00:05:00] you need this, this, and this. You’re good. Just the rest of us all fluff. Yeah.

Criag Parks: You know, with when the, when the pandemic hit, um, and, you know, we’re all knocked down. Um, I, I was like, I was going a little stir crazy, very, very quickly, you know?

And I ended up turning to my daughter, who was five years old at the time, and I’m like, Hey, you wanna do a show with me? And she, and she’s like, yeah, let’s do it. And, uh, I’m like, okay. So we created this, this variety show, this family variety show of comedy and music and uh, and activities and, um. At the time when we first were in lockdown, everybody thought it was gonna be like a month.

And so, um, it was on Facebook Live, it was called Parks Party Central. And people and whoever showed up live with us, we would do interactive games. It was just a blast. And um, but then it became apparent that, wow, this is gonna be longer than a month. I’m like, how, how am I gonna create a show every week?

We ended up doing 70 episodes. And the coolest thing about it, and I’m reminded of this ’cause what you just said is that when [00:06:00] we were hanging out at home during lockdown. The funniest things would happen and we would just do silly, crazy things and we’d be like, let’s put that on the show. And, and it was just, and you didn’t need fancy toys.

You didn’t need all sorts of contraptions. It was like there was so much just creative kind of bliss that was going on. And, and that’s something that I really want parents and dads to know too, is that, and you don’t have to go out and like spend a zillion dollars, like if you’re just present with your kid and you’re willing to be a little silly and goofy.

Man, it’s like Sky is the limit in terms of the joy and connection you can have with your kids.

D Brent Dowlen: Mike Lindell and My Pillow Employees want to thank my listeners for all of your continued support. Mike has a passion to help everyone get the best sleep of their life. He didn’t stop just by creating the best pillow, but he also created the best bedsheets ever.

Mike is offering this incredible deal on his per cal bedsheets. You can get set for as low as 24 98. We have ’em right here in the house as well. The MyPillow per Cal sheets are breathable and have a cool, crisp feel. [00:07:00] They’re great, especially for the warm weather, and they have deep pockets fit over any mattress.

They look and feel great, which means an even better night’s sleep for me, which is crucial with my busy schedule. Also, for a limited time, when you order over a hundred dollars, you’ll receive. A hundred dollars in free digital gifts. So go to mypillow.com and use promo code TFM to receive the MyPillow per cal sheets for as low as 24 98 order Now when they’re gone, they’re gone, guys.

Or call 1-800-796-NINE 7 7 5. Use promo code TFM.

Welcome to the Dad Hatch. Shes podcast The Unfiltered Truth about Being a dad. Real dads real stories, unfiltered, candid conversations on fatherhood. I’m your host, Brent Allen, and today my special guest is Craig Parks. Craig, welcome to the dad Hatch Henas podcast.

Criag Parks: Thanks. It is a pleasure to be with you, Brent.

D Brent Dowlen: Now Craig, earlier you told us you have, you have [00:08:00] two kids. I do, you said we’re talking pandemic. So how far apart are they here?

Criag Parks: They’re pretty far apart. Uh, I’ve got a 21-year-old son and I’ve got a 10-year-old daughter. And the reason why we had such a wide gap, uh, is because, um, our son, amazing, amazing kid, uh, is on the autism spectrum and, uh, dealing with the.

Kind of the, the shock, uh, surprise and all that comes with that, um, that diagnosis, it was quite the journey and uh, it took I think a lot more of our emotional and spiritual and financial resources than maybe we had been expecting. And there was definitely a little bit of fear of like, do we want to do this again?

And, and thank God eventually we’re like, yes. ’cause. You know, my one, I want my son to have a sibling, and I’m just really, really glad that he’s got a younger sister, [00:09:00] and his younger sister is freaking hilarious and is such, such a joy. So I really, really grateful. But I know, you know, having a 10 and a half year gap between siblings is not the most normal thing to do.

D Brent Dowlen: You know, normal is a really overplayed thought. I, I swear. We throw the term normal around all the time, but it’s like really? Let’s, let’s, let’s look at that for a minute and define what we think is normal, right? Yeah, definitely minuses to having your kids further apart or having ’em close together. I’ve heard the arguments both ways, right?

My older brother is seven years older than I am. Seven, seven and a half. Mm-hmm. Uh, and there were some real big bonuses. To having a brother that was that much older than me. There were a few things that attracted, you know, uh, we, he was often running about the time I decided I got interesting, which was about sixth grade.

He left for the Navy. [00:10:00] Well, I mean, I, so I, I have years of working with teenagers. Honestly, those are the most interesting ages to me. ’cause you really could see kids start to come into their own and figure out who they’re gonna be. Uh, so it was like, you know, about the time I started, went from fifth grade to sixth grade and started becoming a more interesting human being.

He left and so I, I, I missed that time with him, but you know, they’re normals. 79 year washer. It’s, it’s pointless, right? That’s true. That’s true. Now, Craig, what is it you do? Like, go ahead and, and tell us a little bit about who you are and what you’re about before we get into this conversation.

Criag Parks: Sure. Yeah.

Um, I am, uh, well, I’m a dad as you know. Um, and I’m somebody who just, I, I just really want, uh, to make a difference in this world. And so the, what I’ve done with most of my adult life is working with kids and, um, I’ve, I. Founded two summer camps, and I’ve worked with teenagers and I’m also a professional musician and I’ve done a ton, ton of music with little babies and [00:11:00] toddlers and kids.

I’ve also run teen bands and I’m, I’m also my own rock bands and I’ve been in, you know, I’ve toured and I’ve recorded and all, all different stuff like that. And then I, um, recently founded Parenting Harmony, um, because I really, really, I’ve taken all this experience, uh, working with kids but also. Having my own two kids, right.

And especially having one on the autism spectrum and working with so many specialists, um, I. About five, six years ago, I decided I really wanted to help other parents navigate this journey because I want them to, I want it to be less overwhelming and less stressful, um, for everybody’s good, and I want it to be way more joyful.

1. I want there to just be more joy and more deeper connection so that children can learn to trust themselves, trust their parents, and parents can learn how to really just dive into connection in a beautiful, joyful way and, and, and really create a childhood that is filled with memories that are, that are [00:12:00] positive and, um, that tho our kids will be able to look back and go, man, so many good times with my folks.

D Brent Dowlen: I like it. I like it. I, I have a, my oldest niece is, uh, has Asperger’s. She’s on the spectrum, and we all got a crash course. Uh, she was, I think seven before she was diagnosed. Um, maybe eight because it presents so differently in little girls as opposed to little boys. And so we, we all got this crash course and it’s like, okay.

What does life look like through her eyes? How does she see the world? How do we better connect with her in a way that is encouraging to her and helps her to where she thrives? Right? Uh, very, very, very passionate about that. Done a couple episodes on Neurodivergent Kids and Parenting Neurodivergent [00:13:00] Kids.

Actually on my other show. So I always, I have a great deal of love for parents who are traversing that road because like some of our best friends, he is deeply on the autism spectrum. She is in the neurodivergent spectrum. Two of their three, four children are both fully in the autism spectrum. And if you guys listening aren’t familiar, like when we say the autism spectrum, that’s a really, like neurodivergent is a, is a wide term and one, one person doesn’t look like the other person necessarily.

Uh, it, it’s such a broad term to use, but like their household is very exciting because four out of the six people who live there, and probably five, are on the spectrum in different places on the spectrum. So life is, yeah, really exciting. [00:14:00] Have a lot of fun with them.

Criag Parks: Yeah. I mean, there’s a, there’s a saying, I don’t know if you’ve heard this in the autism community of like, well, if you’ve met one person on the autism community, you’ve met one person in the autism community, right?

D Brent Dowlen: Uh, my friend, neuro spicy, that’s her favorite term. Just like neuro. I like that spicy. All right. I’m, I’m down with that now, Craig, you’re wearing a great hat and you’re a musician. What is it about musicians and good taste and hats look. Hat today. So what’s, what’s the dad hat story? What? What’s his hat about?

Criag Parks: Well, I’ll tell you, Brent, this hat is multi, it’s just, it’s multi-layered. It’s, it’s, we’re gonna go into some depth here, my friend, because, ’cause if you think like this hat, first of all, it’s tie-dyed. Okay? So, you know, us musicians, we tend to like the hippie dippy, you know, tie-dyed thing that’s, that’s going on.

Um, but it was, it was made at camp. And so I’m a, you know, longtime camp director [00:15:00] and getting to actually create a camp from scratch is such a cool, unique thing. I mean, not a lot of people get to just create camps from scratch. And then getting to have both my kids grow up in the camp that I, that I ran, it was like.

Such a joyful, amazing experience. So, so this hat represents camp. All the kids I work with, having my own children get to be part of this loving, sweet, joyful, silly, ridiculous, um, beautiful environment as well. Um, and creativity, you know, and thing about tie dye is you’re never gonna get the same one every, every time.

And there’s no way to, to screw it up, right? It’s. You know, it’s not like, oh, that wasn’t bad. It’s like, no, like, they’re all great and they’re all different and they’re all unique. So, um, I, when I was looking through all this hats, I was like, Hmm, what are we gonna, and I was like, yeah, this is, this is the one, this is the one for the podcast.

I like it.

D Brent Dowlen: And you know what, thank, thank you for, uh, breaking the barrier because [00:16:00] when I was rooting your profile and saw you were a musician and was looking into some of your posts, I, I committed to myself. It’s like, okay, I’m not going to use the term hippie dippy.

Criag Parks: And here I am totally using that.

D Brent Dowlen: Do shout of the barrier on that. So thank you. That’s the, I, uh, you know,

Criag Parks: sometimes you just gotta own it, you know, somebody, you just gotta own it.

D Brent Dowlen: Right, right. You know, I, I told my wife when I was decided I was gonna do this show, I told her my, my image and idea for this, right.

And, and about the hat, and she loved the concept. And then I got a red boulder hat. She’s like, but why? It’s, but, but why? I was like, ’cause sometimes you just gotta like throw it out there and let it go, man. Uh,

Criag Parks: yeah. Lemme tell you something, Brent. You, you own it and you are wear, I mean, you, you, you are rocking the bowler hat.

I’ll just tell you that you were

D Brent Dowlen: [00:17:00] totally rocking

Criag Parks: it.

D Brent Dowlen: I always, yeah. I love bowler hats. I don’t know why. And

Criag Parks: I think that there’s a chance that you could become kind of the, the spokesperson for like travelers insurance too. It just seems like, you know.

D Brent Dowlen: That’s fair. That’s fair. I don’t know what it is.

Like, I’ve always had this like bowler hat, man. The first time I ever saw, uh, was son of man AKA, the faceless man, and a bowler hat portrait. I was like, I don’t know why, but I love it. It’s, I like the image. It works, right? You can’t argue with success one of these days, right? I, I’m gonna like, you know, do some deep reflection and try and figure out why I like bowler hats.

I don’t know why. But I super love this one. The, the trick is getting me to not wear out at the house. Now my, my children are like, you should wear it everywhere we go, dad. I’m like, Hmm. Thinking about it. My wife’s like, no, no. So that may not, that may stay in the studio for now, but I, [00:18:00] I have. So, yeah.

Criag Parks: I just wanna say, I think that there’s a lot of men who are listening to this who can totally relate to the, like, the kids are being like, yeah, that’s rad.

You know, and, and, and the wife going, mm-hmm.

D Brent Dowlen: Well, so you guys don’t see it. ’cause on these videos I have my hat on. You. You don’t see the Mohawk? Oh, yes. This, this is my children, my, my daughter’s picked out this hairstyle. That is awesome. Yeah, like I, I could do, I

Criag Parks: got the reverse, except it would be like the bald spot thing going on, so,

D Brent Dowlen: yeah.

Yeah. I, it got just started getting longer, so instead of spiking, I started French, braiding it back. But yeah, this is because I have two daughters. I also have like teal toenails right now. ’cause I have two daughters, so, you know.

Criag Parks: Man, just when I thought I couldn’t love you anymore. You, you, you bust out with that

D Brent Dowlen: right. Mohawk and painted toenails. You know, I’m a girl dad. It’s just, it, it’s like, clearly. [00:19:00] Greg, what’s the best part about being a dad?

Criag Parks: Well, I think the best part about being alive is the experience of love, both giving and receiving love, and man, being a parent man and the, the depth of what it is to feel that love for your child and.

I mean, it’s, it’s extraordinary. Just to feel that, um, is, is really, really special. So that’s, that’s the best thing is to actually have the truest experience of love.

D Brent Dowlen: Okay. I love it. And that’s the best part about being a dad, for sure.

Criag Parks: Yeah. And then, right. And then, and then like, how that love gets expressed is, you know, you, we were talking about how, you know.

People on the oxygen spectrum, they’re all unique. I mean, we all are, all of us human beings, right? And so when you get to then express that love in different ways with your kids, because like my son is, he’s an amazing musician, right? And so we play music together and like, that’s one of the [00:20:00] best things that I get to do as a dad is actually my son is on drums and I’m rocking out on guitar and we are just going right?

And. And doing Parks Party Central, doing like doing something creative with my daughter and play. And my daughter’s a musician too. She sings and she plays piano, like playing music and doing, creating a show where we did 70 episodes. Like the creative process with our, our children, like such an amazing thing.

So, you know, like the way love gets expressed is like that’s, that’s more particular rather than the global view to, so if, if that helps in terms of that answer,

D Brent Dowlen: I gotta ask. Like, you gotta whole bang on, does your wife play?

Criag Parks: She does not. Uh, but she does enjoy listening. Um, yeah. In fact, on YouTube. Um, be before the pandemic when my son was, I don’t know, maybe around 13 or so, uh, we started this project called, um, parks and Pals.

And, um, we’d end up doing five or six [00:21:00] episodes. Um, but when the pandemic hit, we kind of, we stopped. I. The concept was we were gonna do a number one hit song from every year starting in 1958, and we wanted to get up to the modern times. And in every episode it would be a different group of musicians who were playing with my son and I.

And so, uh, like I said, we ended up getting up to, I think, 1963 or 1964 maybe. Um, so if anybody’s curious, you could see, but you’ll see my son. He is like, you know, and he’s just, he’s really, really wonderful musician and it’s, and that’s something I love celebrating is his special gifts.

D Brent Dowlen: That’s awesome.

Criag Parks: Yeah.

And even the Parks Party Central, um, I did put three of the episodes on, uh, on YouTube as well. So you go to Parks Party Central, you could, you could see the silliness that my daughter and I did, and I’m actually about to come out with a book called The Parks Party, central Parent Child Activity Book 25, screen Free, ridiculously silly things that parents can do with their Kids.

And then, um. In the book, they can click on a link and they’ll be able to see a clip from the [00:22:00] show of, of my daughter and I actually doing the silly activities.

D Brent Dowlen: That’s awesome. Because we need, we need more parents doing things off screen. Yeah. The YouTube rumble and audio show guys, but less screen time.

Less screen time. Yeah. You know, I, I feel tremendously. Ironic and hypocritical at the same time. How often I tell people to get off their devices based on what I do for a living. But you know what I’d like really if I would ab be absolutely thrilled if, if people stopped listening to my shows, I. Because they were busy doing things to other kids.

I’m absolutely okay with that trade off. A hundred percent. Yeah. I

Criag Parks: think the prescription though, Brent, is that they should be on a screen about an hour a day to listen to, uh, one podcast of yours a day, and then the rest of the time really like, utilize the information. Just like be present with their kids.

There you go.

D Brent Dowlen: There, there we go. There’s a nice medium, happy medium. [00:23:00] Uh, now Craig. We’re gonna, we’re gonna talk about parenting today, right? ’cause it’s a dad show, right? But you have a methodology you call the parenting A to D method. Is that right? A to E Oh oh, A to E, sorry. Yeah. My bad. A to E method. See, I, I knew I’d screw something up at least once during the show.

Hey, that’s like a 99% average. I only screw up one thing. Good.

Criag Parks: Yeah. And d is very close to EI mean, they’re neighbors in the alphabet. You know, I’m pretty close

D Brent Dowlen: and usually it’s somebody’s name. I, I, I usually hose a name pretty bad. Um, it’s, that seems to be my Achilles heel. I can pronounce all kinds of things when it comes to names.

I’m just like,

so, so tell us what, what is this parenting a e or a e method?

Criag Parks: All right. So, um, you know, when you boil it down to like what life is, all we’ve got here is we got these bodies we move around with and we got our voices, and that’s our tools. Like, that’s what we have to, to work with. And so [00:24:00] the A stands for affect and simply what our affect is, is the physical manifestations of how we use our body.

Our voice and, and so when we understand how to, how to actually get control and command of our bodies, the totality of our bodies and our voices, how we can use our, our voice for to maximize connection, parenting, actually, we can then get to the E, which is effectiveness. And if we want to be effective in having a trusting, loving, joyful connection and relationship with our children, then.

We have to master the a, the the affect. And so, um, in the course that I, that I have, that’s available. Actually the first module of the course is teaching how to use the body. How do, how can you use your hands and your fingers, your shoulders, your our shoulders will communicate things. How do you use your facial expressions?

Um, and then the whole thing around our voice, right? The pitch, the speed, [00:25:00] um, the, the types of words that we use and. You were talking about like just reading books. There’s a million ways to read a book to a kid, right? You could sit there and monotone voice, or you could like take on like character voices, right?

And these are the types of things that are gonna make an impact in our relationship, how our kids feel around us, right? And so that, that’s what the methodology is all about. And then the, the second module is music, as you know.

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah. Before you get there. Before you get there, I, I gotta ask. Oh, okay. Just a point of clarity here to help us get this in our head better.

Yeah. When you say using your body, right? My brain immediately went to shoot and because I call, I’m calling out his name, I’m gonna mess it up. Oh, I can see in my head. Oh, this is so embarrassing. Uh, the guy from Mary Poppins. Oh, Dick Van Dyke. Dick Van Dyke. Right? That’s, yeah, exactly where my head [00:26:00] went.

When you started talking about use your body to communicate. Yeah. ’cause I thought of that old physical comment comedy that some of the great, great actors had. Right. That man was a master. Yes. Communicating with every bit of him. So is, is that what you’re talking about? Yeah, that’s part of what I’m talking

Criag Parks: about without a doubt.

And actually, you know, one of my all time favorite comedians, Steve Martin, back when he was in doing his standup. Yeah. I mean, he, he, he, he was so just crazy with all of his body and, um, and, and his voice too. Like if, if, and if, if you study, if you study these, these men, right, you’ll see like, what, how are they creating this?

You know? And it’s basically they’re using their tool, their body and their voice. And, and that’s what I want parents to understand is that, you know, because parents will be like, well, Craig, you know, you, you run a camp, you do music with kids, like you’ve got all this charisma. I’m like, if you boil down what charisma is, it’s just how we’re using our body and our voice, and [00:27:00] it’s teachable and anybody can do it.

So, um, and it, and it’s not just like wild craziness too. It’s, it’s, it’s some, here’s an example, um, a really powerful one that I know a lot of parents have said who’ve done my course have said this is one of the most powerful lessons they ever learned. And that is simply, simply just lowering your body to your child so that you’re eye level.

Has made all of the difference in terms of cooperation and trust instead of screaming across the room and when your kid’s not listening and when you’ve said, you know, eight times, I need you to pick this up, or whatever it is. If you’d actually just go and you lower your, physically, lower your body and get eye level and get close and, and like maybe hold their hands, Hey sweetie, I really need you to do this right now.

Like, your level of cooperation is gonna go up so much. And, and then on the other hand, like if you think about being like. You know, [00:28:00] four feet tall or three foot two, you being a little, a little dude, and I mean, imagine if you walked out your door every day and every person you met was like eight foot seven, right?

It, it would be really intimidating. And if we as adults remember that and we understand how to utilize our bodies to have our kids actually feel more tru trusting and safe, like. And that’s just one of many, many examples, so that when parents learn these techniques, they’re gonna realize, oh wow. I’m communicating so much to my kids in, in subtle ways that we’re not even aware of.

Well, my job is let’s become aware of it and actually use it to actually lower our overwhelm and stress as parents and maximize our joy and connection.

D Brent Dowlen: Man, I I, the longer we talk, the more I think we’re related somehow ’cause. I, I am the biggest advocate when I talk to dads of getting down eye to eye with your kid.

Like, get on the [00:29:00] floor, get down on the knee, whatever. Get, get face to face with your children when you communicate with them and, and make such a huge difference in your relationship with your kids. Uh, I, I tell dads that all the time. Like, I, I will get down on my belly on the floor if I need to. To get right here where we are, right here together, because this is together.

This is in charge and in command. Mm-hmm. This is together, which is hard for men. ’cause men prefer to communicate side by side. Women are much better at communicating face to face. Men prefer to communicate side by side technically. Um. So it’s, it’s a big jump for a lot of dads, but dads, this is such a power move as a father to connect with your child.

Sorry, I got us way off track. So we’re onto B, right? We went from affect.

Criag Parks: Well, no, so, so it’s just the A is, is understanding, just mastering [00:30:00] your affect and then the, and then, so when you understand that, then it’s like, well, okay, well how am I gonna use that? And so the other part of my course is that, um, is turning the mundane of.

Everyday parenting into memorable things because we can take our kids to Disneyland and they will remember that. But I mean, let’s get real, most of parenting is not the day at Disneyland. Most of it is waking them up, making sure they’re eating, making sure they’re taking a bath bedtime, making sure they’re washing their hands, those types of things.

So my, my whole deal is. How do you make that stuff awesome? How do you make that stuff memorable? And so, um, music is one of the most powerful memory making devices we human beings have at our disposal. And I wrote all these songs for bathtime, for bedtime, for washing hands, and, um, and, and I realized. Like my kids and campers I’ve had too.

You know, they, they all remember this. And, [00:31:00] you know, I had a, I had a really powerful experience several years ago when I was thinking back on my first grade year. Now, very few of us will remember what happened to us in first grade on October 23rd, on that Tuesday. Like we just won’t remember that. But my first grade teacher did something at the end of every day of first grade.

She sang the same song every day, and I realize like I’m now in my fifties. I’m like, I still remember that song because one, it was music. Two, she did it. Ritualistically and I, right. And it was like, goodbye everybody. Yes, indeed. Yes indeed. So I still remember this melody and I was like, okay, if we understand the power of that, we as parents can.

Can use rituals and we as parents can use music to create really deeply embedded, beautiful, joyful connecting memories. And [00:32:00] so the second part of my course is all these easy songs that I want parents to be able to use ritualistically to create just a ton of really fun, beautiful memories. And then the, the third module is.

These 10 activities that are screen free that parents can do with their kids, but understand like do this with full affect. Like know what, know how to use your body and voice so that you could just dig into all the joy that is waiting for you in the parenting journey.

D Brent Dowlen: So I’m, I’m, I’m going through That’s, that, that sigh is me going through. I’m, I’m listening to my head. Because I know right now there are dads going, yeah, you two are crazy. This is like, you know, you, you do this and you do camps and you’re a musician and, and you’re a, a YouTube knit wi with a red hat. I mean, right.

You guys [00:33:00] are that creative. I’m not that creative person. I’m, I’m not this entertaining musician or Right. I can hear those. Pushbacks because I know so many dads who are like, yeah, no.

Criag Parks: Right, right. So I’m curious, Brent, like what do you say to, what do you say to that parent? And I’ll, I’ll let you know what I would say to that parent.

D Brent Dowlen: I say, everybody has a creative side. They don’t understand. And it’s just different than a creative side than, than what you’re seeing. Right? We, you’re saying, you know, we’re gonna sing songs and we’re gonna do this, and. I’m saying, you know, I have like my, my daughters and I have our own subtle communication.

This just like this moment of silliness where they’ll be homeschooling, right? And I’ll peek around the corner outta my office, just like my eye, just barely pass the door where I can see my oldest daughter. [00:34:00] And I’ll stand there and wait until she happens to look up and I’ll just like raise my eyebrow.

I’m like, what’s up? Right. And it totally disrupts her flow of the moment. But it’s that reminder of dad’s there, dad’s paying attention to me. Dad’s aware of what’s happening, right? Um, and I know every man, so every man doesn’t wanna admit this, but we all have that silly side, the side when nobody is home, that cranks up the radio and is busting out that eighties hairband music at the top of our lungs and doing air guitar.

And gentlemen, it is time to bring that out with your kids. Let them see that side of you. My kids look at me all the time. Gimme weird. Looks like just randomly like we’ll be driving the car. I just start making weird noises. I’m like, yep. I’m like, what are you doing? I was like, I have no idea, but I’m doing it.

And every, every guy like it’s [00:35:00] in you. And we’re taught to like. Fold that in. ’cause people are gonna think we’re weird. And the things we only do when we’re driving in the car, ’cause nobody’s with dad’s, bring it out. Your kids are gonna love it. You’re gonna get those eye rolls at certain ages because like a 13-year-old now.

So I get those eye rolls now and I love this. Yeah, yeah. I crack a bad dad joke and my daughter’s like, really? I’m like, oh yeah. And there’s more coming. You know, your kids.

Criag Parks: Yeah. No, that’s great. You know, and, and what I would say to those dads too is that, you know, because they look at us and be like, yeah, you’re the goofy, silly guys, and that’s not me. And I’m, and I’m saying you’re creating, whether you think you’re creating or not creating, you’re, you’re creative whether you want to be or not.

Like we’re always creating something. So if, if we can get intentional. Intentional about what we want to create, then we could learn these things like those, those vo those little sounds you just made, Brent, like [00:36:00] any, any man can go woo, woo woo. You know? Like anybody can do that. Right? And so it’s not like you’re special ’cause you can do that.

Nobody. And that’s, and that’s what I’m trying to teach and that’s what I teach in my course is that actually, you know, if there’s any, any guy could do the, the silly nose tongue trick, you know, where it’s like. It is like, are you willing to, and are you committed to having, you know, what, what kind of relationship are you actually committing to having with your, your child?

And so are you willing to, to do some things, step outside of maybe your comfort zone, but realize your 2-year-old and your 3-year-old and your 4-year-old. I’m not sitting there judging you. In fact, you know, I do music with every age group, literally from babies to senior citizens. And when I’m in front of a group of preschoolers, it’s, it’s my favorite because they challenge me to see how over the top silly I can be.

’cause they’re, they just are digging [00:37:00] into it. Right? They’re not judging it. They’re not like, right. But then you’ll get to the age Right. Developmentally where like the 8-year-old and the 9-year-old is gonna be like, ugh. God, dad, that’s so lame. Or you know, and like the eye rolls, right? And that’s right.

’cause you got the, the silly dad stuff. But even the, when they’re that age, they’re, they’re kind of digging it too because they, they, they want that invitation to know that, okay, I’m always gonna be able to be silly too. I mean, I dunno about you, but like, you know, my. My dad’s amazing and he was a really, really hardworking man.

Often seven days a week. I did not get the kind of time with him I would’ve liked. Um, you know, in that generation it was like the way you, it’s like you worked your ass off and you, and you supported your family, you know? Um, and he was often stressed, you know, and, and I remember kind of as a kid kind of fearing growing up ’cause it didn’t look like it was fun to be an adult.

And so we have an opportunity to show our kids that, hey. Being result is actually really fun and awesome. You know, like you don’t have to fear growing up. [00:38:00] And when we show them that, that part of ourselves, it helps in that, in that process a lot.

D Brent Dowlen: I think more dads need to, uh, just get in the backyard and, and dig mud pies with your kids.

Like

Criag Parks: Yeah. And that’s, you know, and that’s why I created this parenting a e course. ’cause it’s like. This is for the parent who thinks they can’t do it. It’s like I’ve broken it down so that you know exactly what to do, um, and, and why I’m coming out with this book. The Parts Party Central, uh, parent activity book, 25 screen free activities, and they’re all silly and ridiculous and you don’t need to go out and buy anything.

It’s, um. And it’s just really fun and I will tell you, you’ll feel more deeply connected with your children when you play with them and when you are silly with them and when you are present with them.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh, absolutely. Gentlemen, if your relationships are not where you want ’em to be, I want you to [00:39:00] know I got you.

Relationships take a lot of work and can fall on the back burner pretty easily as your empire building in your life. Men often suffer from damage to their relationships while they’re trying to provide because they’re so busy trying to provide. Just kind of everything gets left on the back burner. So reach out and schedule your free discovery Call at purpose-driven men.com to learn the skills you need to connect deeply with the people who matter most in your life.

So I, I’ve gotta ask because you, you broke the hippie deepy barrier and, and you got the great Big Blue Book, a hat. So what is your best dad joke? ’cause I expect a pretty good one from you. I just gotta say. Okay.

Criag Parks: Alright. Okay. I’m gonna give you, so the, the dad jokes of dad jokes are, are knock, knock jokes, right?

And so I’ve created quite a few of my own knock, knock jokes over time, but I’m gonna give you the one that I am most proud of. All right, so let’s say you’re, you’re hanging out with your family or friends, like everybody there knows each other, right? [00:40:00] All right, so now I’m going to set up. So, alright, Brent, knock, knock.

Who’s there? Who’s, who’s, whose.

No, no, when, when somebody does a knock, knock over, like, you know, um, it’s, you would, you would say who’s who, right? Oh, so yeah, so that’s just, we’ll try it again. All right. And take two. You’ll edit this part out all. Sorry, Diane. Hey, broke the, alright, so, uh, here we go. Knock, knock.

D Brent Dowlen: Who’s there? Who’s who?

I don’t know, knock talk jokes. I’m bad at it.

Criag Parks: You know, as a dad you’re gonna have to get the format of the knock, knock joke down.

D Brent Dowlen: My, my 13-year-old got me this ’cause she knew I needed help, so she got me a dad joke book when I started the show.

Criag Parks: Alright, so like, you need this more? I’ll, [00:41:00] I’ll, let me, let me give you a little primer on the knock knock though.

So you know, if someone says knock, knock, and you can say who’s there? Let’s say I go, boo, you would say. Boo. Yeah. And I’d be like, um, oh, don’t cry, it’s gonna be okay. Right? But you said boo. Who? So the, the whatever somebody says, you then say that word and you go, who?

D Brent Dowlen: Oh, okay.

Criag Parks: Alright. So, alright, so here we go.

Take four. Here we go. Knock, knock.

D Brent Dowlen: Who’s there? Who’s, who’s, who.

Criag Parks: Oh, I’m glad you asked. Well, that, that’s mom over there. That’s your sister Theresa. And, uh, um, oh, that’s, that’s Grandpa Joey over there. I’m so glad you asked, but I, I thought you knew them, but I, you know, but thanks for asking. I, you know, I want you to feel comfortable asking me any question, so There you go.

There’s a, a bad dad, knock, knock joke.

D Brent Dowlen: Okay, so after we finish recording this, I’m gonna walk out into my living room, outta my studio here and try this on my 13-year-old. And try not to totally blow it like I did on the [00:42:00] show and, and see if it’s actually funny. ’cause like,

Criag Parks: all right, I, I, it, it works.

D Brent Dowlen: I’m good with puns.

Yeah.

Criag Parks: Okay. Yeah. So anyway, so that’s, that’s, that’s a, a really ridiculous, silly knock, knock joke. Especially if you’re with a group of people who all know each other really well. ’cause like who’s who? It’s like, oh, I thought you knew, but all right, well that’s so and so, and that’s so and so.

D Brent Dowlen: I am like, like I said, I’m, I’m, I’m bad with it.

My, my daughter’s like, yeah, it is not, it’s not your strong point. Dad, dad, dad. Jokes are one of those really things, really funny things to me because there’s such a breath of dad jokes not Oh yeah, our classic. But so many dad jokes are in the moment kind of puns as well where someone says something, you know, like twist it just a little bit and they’re like, ah, ah, you know, kind of.

Oh yeah. Ones I read this year was, uh, like I said, I read a lot of dad jokes now for the show. It is, uh, [00:43:00] what, what ha let’s see if I can say it right.

What do you call it when Batman doesn’t go to church? What’s that? Christian. Baal. Ah,

Criag Parks: wow. That’s good. That’s a good one.

D Brent Dowlen: I looked that one up on the internet. ’cause I’m not that funny.

Criag Parks: No, that’s, that’s a, that is a good one.

D Brent Dowlen: I

Criag Parks: love it.

D Brent Dowlen: Where is the best place for people to connect with you, Craig?

Criag Parks: Uh, well, they can write to me directly at craigParks@parentingharmony.com, then go to parenting harmony.com as, uh, as well to check out my site if they’re interested in my course.

Um, the book is gonna be coming out later this month. Uh. I’m really, really excited about, you know, like for parents to have 25 activities that are just easy, silly, they can actually click on it, watch how it’s actually done. Um, so I’m on Instagram Parenting Harmony. I’m on TikTok, parenting Harmony number one, where every day I am on [00:44:00] there just giving parenting value just to help parents.

Um, so there’s a lot of ways to, uh, get in touch with me. And then on YouTube, they could check out Parks Party Central. I have a few episodes up there. Um, and. And again on YouTube, uh, parks and Pals, if they wanna see my son and I. Playing a little bit of music together too. So a lot of different ways to get in touch.

And I, and I hope that they do, and if anybody is listening to this podcast, um, that wants to get the, the course, the parenting a e full course, um, right to me, and I will give you a significant discount on the course so that. I, I, I can make, if, if the financial part of it’s hard is a hardship for you, we’ll make it work.

So just write to me and let me know, because if it’s something you wanna do, I just wanna support parents out there, and especially dads,

D Brent Dowlen: right,

Criag Parks: who, you know, who would really struggle with maybe, you know, letting, letting loose a little bit.

D Brent Dowlen: Thank you for that offer guys. We’re gonna have all of Craig’s connection stuff down in the show notes or on the YouTube description or [00:45:00] whatever of the many platforms the show is on.

Uh. Day is always fun because Yeah. Did they get all the places? Um, Craig, if they hear nothing else, what do you want the dads to hear today?

Criag Parks: I want you to know that there’s actually nothing more important in your life then that relationship that you have with your children, like. You know your job’s important. Everything else, like there’s a lot of important things. But if we want our world to actually work better, then the more we can love up our kids really well.

Um. That’s what we need to do. And then the other thing I want dads know is this, that we dads are often going and going and we’re just like striving and we’re ambitious and we’re like working and we’re trying to balance the home life. A lot of us dads are not actually [00:46:00] taking care of our wellbeing. I. So the way we actually can show up for our kids the best is if we make sure we actually are getting enough sleep and we’re eating well, we’re exercising it, and we’re like talking to friends and doing the things that actually are meditating or whatever it is that has us feel like, okay, I’m being fed too.

It isn’t just like giving, giving you time, but like there’s gotta be balance and taking care of our wellbeing. Is is not a selfish thing to do. It’s actually a way that we make sure that we can show up less stressed and more peaceful and more joyful.

D Brent Dowlen: Guys, for Craig and myself, thanks for joining us today on the Dad Hatch podcast.

A community of dads navigating life’s challenges together. I. Until next time, laugh, learn and live the dad [00:47:00] life.